When Your Dreams Died
by BrookeScott134
Summary: When your lies catch up with you, all you can do is hope the people you told them to don't catch up too.
1. I’ll Keep Your Memory Vague

**Disclaimer: I don't own OTH. But I do get to claim the oh so fabulous characters that I made up in my crazy mind.**

**Summary: **_There are moments we find ourselves at crossroads, afraid, confused with out a roadmap, the choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days._

**Authors Note: **Okayy, so I know that I said I was going to wait until I finished, but I was thinking about it and this is going to be a very long story and if I wait to finish, we will be well in to next year before it was posted, so I have written enough chapters where I am comfortable posting now, knowing that you all wont be having to wait months at a time for an update. So with that said, this is NOT a "_new" _story, it is just a new _version_ of the old one. It will have a lot of stuff from the old version, but I went through and changed a lot to insure that it runs smoothly and things aren't just popping up out of the blue. As you all can assume, I LOVE reviews and hope you all take the time to leave them, good or bad. I want to know what everyone thinks regardless of whether you are a fan or not, I can only improve if I am told what I need to.

Also a HUGE thanks to Lynn (justlikebrooke) for her amazingness with me. She is not only my beta but she gets to listen to me ramble on and on everyday. So thank you darling, I love you for everything!

**When Your Dreams Died**

**Chapter One**: I'll Keep Your Memory Vague

_**This won't break your heart  
But I just think it could  
Cause I haven't tried as hard as I should  
To separate you from everything I do  
But I would never want to come between us two**_

_It was an oddly familiar feeling, one she thought would have gone away by now, but as her back hit the firm bed and his toned body pushed in to her more she realize that this was a feeling she was never going to forgot. It was like riding a bike and no matter how long it had been since the last time it happened she would still feel the same breath hick in her through as his large hands roamed her body softly. She would never forget the husky grunts that came for his mouth as he kissed her jaw line. This was second nature, and they were both realizing that, and before the two knew it, her arms were up waiting for him, before his finger tips could get to the hem of the thin shit._

She looked around the small apartment, letting out a small sigh as a smile started to spread across her face. Some people would call her living space nothing more then an over sized box, but to her it was _her _over sized box and there was nothing in the world she was more proud of. There was a small white couch n the living room with a matching white lounge chair to the size, a dark wood coffee table in front of it with a small TV on it. There was a small open space off to the size where there was a sewing machine and a small table with a sewing machine and then off to the side of that was a small kitchen. It was really nothing more then a small area with a stove and a refrigerator with a small counter but it functioned and that was enough to make her happy.

There was a knock at the door and she smiled, practically running over and opening the door before letting out a small squeal before she practically leap forward to take the short hair burette in to her hand before she pulled away and turned to the tall burette pulling him in to a hug before she finally made her way to the small of the trio.

"Hales he has gotten so big!" She squealed causing her two old friends to laugh

"I am four" the light haired child said proudly

"Really?" She smiled "That's pretty old if you ask me"

"No, mommy and daddy are old. I am just a kid" he shrugged causing all the adults to smile before a kind of awkward silence fall over them

"Um, Brooke?" Nathan questioned as the four stood outside

"Oh, oh I am so sorry come in come in" she said ushering them in taking the bags out of there hands "I know it is nothing much, but I hope you guys will have enough room"

"Brooke this place is great" Haley smiled admiring all small accents that just screamed Brooke, there were pictures and small paintings all over the cream colored walls, fresh flowers in a small vase on the kitchen table, a warm blanket over the back of the couch

"Thanks, assistants don't make much, but hopefully this is only temporary"

"Well, for now it is great" Haley smiled

"Well thank you. Now, I kind of tried to make dinner, but…"

"You burned it?" Jamie asked looking up at his godmother "That is what the smell is isn't it"

"Sadly" Brooke frowned looking down to him "But… I order a pizza, it should be here soon"

"Sweet" Jamie smiled "Who are you again?"

Brooke laughed and knelt down so she was at eye level with him "I am your godmother"

"I know that, but I thought godmothers were suppose to like fly and do magic and stuff"

"Well… I can't cook… but I can sow,"

Jamie shrugged "Good enough"

Brooke chuckled ruffling his hair slightly "So I pass the godmother test?"

Jamie studied her for a moment before he let a small smile spread across his face "I suppose you will do"

"Well good" Brooke smiled widely picking up the small boy "Because I would have been very sad if I failed"

The evening seemed to shift in to night smoother then Brooke though and before she knew it Jamie was asleep in her room and her, Haley and Nathan were laughing over beers talking about the "good old days" and it made Brooke smile. It had been so long since she'd seen any of her friends, let alone Haley. When she had left for New York, she left with every intention of keeping in touch with everyone, but life got to them all and so now here they were sitting on a couch talking and laughing for the first time in four years.

"Okay, so now that Natey here is playing for the Knicks, what is tutor girl going to be doing?" Brooke questioned

_**I'll keep your memory vague  
So you won't feel bad about me  
I'll say the things that you said  
Sometimes so it reminds me  
**_

"_So are you sad that you are leaving in two days?" He asked as the two walked in to the empty café_

"_Yeah" she shrugged "But I am excited, I thought I would be stuck in California with my parents and then I found out I got this internship with Victoria Secret and then that I got in to that fashion school right in the city, it just feels like everything is finally falling in to place"_

"_Well I am very proud of you" he smiled at the brunette as he went be hind the counter grabbing to mugs_

"_Well what about you, UNC is a great school…but I always knew you would get in to whatever school you wanted" Brooke winked at him as she shock the packet of chocolate that he had just handed her_

"_Well actually…there is this school about three hours from here, it isn't that amazing or anything, but Whitey is coaching and he offered me the assistant coaching job. And also Nathan and Haley are going there…"_

"_Well that is great Lucas, but what about UNC, that was your dream I thought"_

"_My dream was to be playing basketball at a college, this is as close as I could get"_

"_Well then" Brooke smiled lifting her mug "Congratulations" she said pressing her mug to his before pulling it away and taking a sip of the hot liquid before looking up and sending him a wink._

"Well I don't really know, I mean I kind of have always wanted to teach, but it's a new city with new people an I think maybe I am just going to take a year off and spend it with Jamie, I mean he is going to be going to preschool soon and I feel like I have missed so much as it is with school and everything"

"Well that sounds good to me, I wish I could take a year off" she sighed tossing the pizza crust in her hand in to the box

"I thought you were working for Victoria Secret?" Nathan question

"No, that fell through pretty fast when I got here, it just didn't work out, but I am working for Ralph Lauren at the moment, it is just a small branch and I am only an assistant, but I figure if I stick with it long enough something is bound to happen"

"Well I hope it does because you are way to talented to be an assistant" Haley said taking a sip of her tea

"Well thank you but New York doesn't seem to think that same" She smiled sadly.

"So what else have you been up to, I mean it's been four years, you have to have been doing more then just school and work" Nathan asked

"Nope, really, it was just school and work, and well…" Brooke's sentence was cut off by the ringing of her phone, she looked up to the clock on the wall realizing it was always eleven o'clock at night a suddenly got slightly worried as she stood up to make her easy to the kitchen where her phone was "Excuse me" she said politely to Haley and Nathan before she answer.

She talked for a few minutes, and it became clear to Nathan and Haley that Brooke knew who ever it was on the phone. Her voice didn't sound panicked or uneasy, just a bit unsure and when she hung up she let out a small sigh

"Everything alright?" Haley asked

"Yea, listen guys, I hate to do this on your first night here, but I have to run and go do something, it shouldn't be to long though"

"That's is totally fine, don't worry about it, we were getting ready to head to bed anyway" Haley assured her

"Okay, well I am really sorry again" Brooke sighed putting on her jacket "Take my room, feel free to use whatever you need and I told Casey to stay out of the bathroom in the morning so it is all your guys when you need it"

"Who's Casey?" Nathan asked as him and his wife stood from the couch

"Oh, she is my roommate, we met in college and now we work together, she is gone for the night though and I doubt you will see her in the morning but she should be home for dinner tomorrow"

"Alright, well we are looking forward to it" Haley smiled as her and Nathan made there way to Brooke's room, Nathan going all the way in to check on Jamie but Haley stopped and turned to Brooke

"Brooke are you sure everything is okay?"

"Yeah, of course" she smiled "There's just something I have to take care of"

_**Now I'm thinking back  
To what I said before  
I hope your heart won't have to hurt anymore  
Cause it's really not that sad from here  
Because the moments I can feel you near  
They keep you close to me my dear  
And if they ever become too clear...**_

_Her back arched as his swollen lips made there way down her heaving chest. The slight task of salt hit his lips from the small beads of sweat glistening on her chest. She moaned out as he made his way further down her body, knowing exactly how to touch her and caress her. Her nails dug in to his bad as she then pulled thin up leave a trap of white lines up his back as she throw her head back in pleasure. God she forgot how amazing he was._

The next morning Brooke mad her way in to the small apartment, it was just after six thirty. There were dark circles under her eyes and the clothes she had on from the night before were winkled and hung loser on her then before, but when she saw Haley cooking in the kitchen she smiled through her tiredness

"Hey Tutor Mom"

"Hey Brooke" Haley smiled laughing slightly at the old nickname "You had me a it worried"

"I know, I am sorry, I guess I didn't think I would be staying the night, but I didn't want to call and wake you. I figured I would be home early enough, I forgot that you are like a robot and don't sleep past six"

Haley laughed as she flipped a pancake "Well there is coffee all ready for you and I am making breakfast, I hope you like pancakes"

"I love pancakes" Brooke smiled as she made her way over to the coffee pot "But you shouldn't have cooked, you are my guest"

"Oh please, we are crashing at your place, in your room non the less it is the lest I an do"

"Well I appreciate it; it is very sweet of you"

"Anything for my Brookie" Haley eased "God it has been so long Brooke, don't ever make me go this long with out seeing you again"

Brooke chuckled slightly as she hopped on the counter next to Haley "Trust me, if you are making breakfast every morning you will be lucky if I let you move out."

Haley laughed before she turned the stove off and turned to her friend "So where was it that you went last night?"

"It wasn't a big deal I just got a call and I had to go down to" Brooke started when the door of her room and opened and the small light haired boy that had been asleep in it appeared with his blanket in hand as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes

"Mommy?" His whinny voice called out causing the two women to smile

"In the kitchen baby" Haley said as he made his way to them

"Morning Jamie" Brooke smile down to him

"Good morning Brooke" he said as he climbed his way up on to the chair before Haley set a plate in front of him

"So what are your plans today?" Brooke asked turning to Haley again

"Oh nothing much, maybe do a little shopping for the new apartment, I might take Jamie to go see Nathan at practice, nothing to crazy"

"Are we going to go see Uncle Luke again?" Jamie asked with a smile

"Jamie, Uncle Luke lives kind of far away" Brooke said as she grabbed a banana from behind her

"No, we just saw him at his new restaurant yesterday"

"What? Since when does Lucas have a restaurant?" Brooke asked know seriously confused

"I was meaning to talk to you about that" Haley sighed turning to Brooke "Lucas kind of took his money from his book and bought a restaurant"

"What? That is crazy" Brooke laughed

"Yeah… and it is here, in the City, it is actually right down the street" Haley assed biting her lip slightly

"Well why the hell did no one tell me?" Brooke asked getting off the counter

"Ew! You said a bad word"

"Sorry" Brooke said with a frown before she turned back to Haley "How long has he been here?"

"A few months" Haley shrugged

"A few months?" Brooke screeched "Why didn't he call"

"Maybe he thought thing would be to awkward"

_**Now you've gone away  
Don't worry it's ok  
That you're gone away  
Further than yesterday  
But you'll never leave these scenes  
My mind replays**_

_The sheets were tangled around him and the pillows had practically been tossed off the bed, his clothes were god only knows where and as he stirred he knew how swore he would be, but it was worth it after the night he had had. He let a smile spread across his lips as he stretched out, only to have the smile fall when he realized that the space next to him was empty and cold. He opened in his eyes and sat up looking around the room, drugging a hand through his hair when he found it empty. Sighing he looked down and then to the empty space, only to find that it was all that empty, there was a small folded piece of paper with his name on it. He adjusted him self to lean on the head board as he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion before he picked up the piece of paper and let his eyes read the words before a full frown grace his face as he looked away, crumbling the letter before throwing it as hard as he could across the room._

"Why would it be awkward?" Brooke asked in confusion has she chewed her food

"He told me about the day you left" Haley said softly

Brookes face fell slightly, as did the thing yellow fruit in her hand "That wasn't what it seemed"

"It is not my business but he was pretty torn up about it. He wouldn't say way for a while, I just figured it was because of Peyton for a while, but then last year he told me what happened…"

"It was a mistake, Peyton had just left and I was leaving and we just…"

"Brooke you don't owe me an explanation"

A comfortable silence fall on the three before the door opened and a slightly dishevel blonde walked in. she was very thing and she ware a nice party shirt paired with a pair of dark wash jeans, her heal hung front her hand as her thick, long blonder then blond hair was large and curly. She looked up and her bright blue eyes gave out a slight sparkle as she studied the new bodies in her apartment

"Oh, that's right your friends from hick ville were coming" she smiled

"Your funny" Brooke said sarcastically as the blonde stuck her tongue out "Casey this is one of my bestest friends in the world Haley and this is her son Jamie"

"Nice to meet you finally, Brooke never shuts up about you"

Haley laughed slightly before smiling at the blonde "It is nice to meet you too; I hope we aren't putting you out to much"

"Oh please, I am hardly here anyway, and plus you are in Brooke's room" Casey smiled to her burette friend before taking a sit at the table, stealing a small piece of cut pancake from Jamie's plate, receiving a death glare from the four year old before shrugging innocently

"So where have you been all night?"

"There was a club opening on 18th"

"It is almost 7 in the morning though" Haley said

Casey shrugged again "There were a lot of guys at this club opening, many of them drop dead gorgeous, and so my night was expended"

"As are all of your nights, but I am leaving in an hour so go get ready I am sick of you making me late" Brooke said walking away from the kitchen

"Fine but I call shower" Casey called to her

"Shower is in my room"

"Well I called it"

"Well Nathan is in my room and he doesn't know you" Brooke fought

"Nathan is at practice" Haley chimed in "And also, Nathan might now you, but I really hope you weren't going to be taking a shower were he could see"

Brooke scrunched up her face at the thought "Gross"

"Well from what you told me, if this is the right Nathan, he has already seen you naked" Casey smiled as both girls reached Brookes door. Haley glared to Brooke for a moment at the memory and Brooke glared to Casey

"Thanks for that"

"Anytime, now, I need to shower, I would hate to me late" Casey smiled before slipping in to the room locking the door behind her leaving Brooke to groan outside

"She seems simply charming" Haley smiled

"She's just delightful."

_**Where in the world have you gone now?**_

* * *

**_So that was chapter one. Hope you enjoyed it and trust me this is onlyy the beginning. Please let me knoq your thoughts. The more I know the more I can write and the faster I update. So let me now... god, bad, so so? _**


	2. But It's All Gonna Change

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Summary: **_There are moments we find ourselves at crossroads, afraid, confused with out a roadmap; the choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days._

**Authors Note: **Hello, hello my oh so amazing readers. There isn't much to say about this chapter, only that I am hoping and praying it gets more reviews then that last one, I know this is a re write but I really want to know what you guys think, I want to make sure that this one is the best it can be and I can't make sure of that with out your help. This chapter is extra long… for me anyway… so please; let me know what you all think. And for those of you who did last time…

**Thanks you are at the bottom. **

* * *

**When Your Dreams Died**

**Chapter Two:**** But It's All Going To Change**

_Don't be scared of anything at all  
Everything we have is all we need  
All the spotlights streaming into angry skies  
Means there's no one watching as we leave_

It was still early as Brooke made her way down the somewhat messy New York streets. She loved mornings when she could walk to work. New York City truly was one of the most beautiful cities in the world and the fact that she had a chance to live in it was remarkable to Brooke. She found herself taking it for granted at times, and so days like this always made her feel more in touch with the city that she was residing in.

Casey was looking down at her phone as she typed on the Blackberry furiously. She didn't look up once, and she didn't need to since she had hers and Brooke route memorized. Brooke laughed slightly as the curly blond turned right and made her way in to the coffee shop, still not looking up from the phone until the two made there way over to the counter.

"I hate that thing" an old man, just around fifty said, setting two mugs in front of the girls before grabbing his coffee pot and filling them.

"You are just mad because you are too old to know how it works" Casey said taking one of the steaming cups. "This is regular right, you aren't trying to get me to drink decafe again, because the last time you did that I fell asleep at my desk."

"Well maybe if you wouldn't be out all night" the old man said.

"That is what they make _regular _coffee."

"Case, you fall asleep at your desk regardless so what does it matter?" Brooke questioned taking a sip of her coffee.

"See I always liked her, she is always on my side…"

"That is just because she doesn't want to have to pay for her coffee." Casey huffed

"You're just bitter" the man teased as Casey took a sip and made a face.

"No, this coffee is what is bitter" she said pushing it away.

"No matter what I do I just can't make her happy" he shrugged to Brooke with a laugh.

"It is just about impossible" Brooke smiled giving the old man a wink.

"You are telling me..." he grunted.

"Alright are you two done whining about how horrible it is to have me in your lives yet cause we are going to be late for work" Casey huffed, causing both Brooke and the old man to laugh.

"Yes, yes we are done picking on you for the day, let's go."

Brooke smiled, leaving a five on the counter. "Thanks Edward"

"Brooke Davis, you better put the money back in your pocket before I wipe my counter with it!"

"Just take it as a tip" she winked "See you later…"

"Have a good day girls" he smiled with a sigh at her stubbornness. "Try and behave."

"We will" Casey called over her shoulder as she pulled Brooke out of the small café as the two continued their venture to their office.

As they walked back out onto the street, she admired the city once again. The further they walked, the busier the streets became. They were bustling with people, cars were honking here and there, and in contradiction to the small-town girl that loved the quiet coffee shop, there was an inner part of Brooke that loved the city, loved the noise and the chatter, a part of Brooke that was born to live in a place like this, despite the aching she felt to be somewhere else.

As she walked though, her thoughts shifted from what she should do tonight, to the conversation her and Haley had had that morning over breakfast as a small building came into view. It was one she had seen before but paid no attention to, but now, with a 'Coming Soon' sign standing firmly in place in front of the construction site, she found herself carefully studying the vicinity. It was clearly nowhere near being put together yet, the outside was still being built.

The buzzing roar of a truck started Brooke who turned her head to see a bright, yellow tractor whirring noisily as it dug into the ground. She jumped out of the way and pressed herself against the wall when three men carrying a load of bricks shoved past her.

"Brooke, are you trying to get yourself killed? My god…" Casey said looking up from her phone. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I am fine" she said, standing outside for a moment, watching as the men in yellow helmets walked around, each doing specific jobs. It was loud—the workers yelled and the machines whirred—but that was typical New York. Letting out a breath and pushing her hair behind her ear, she looked up at the building once more.

"Um, you know what Case; I totally forgot something at home. I'm going to have to go back. You should go though; I don't want you to be late too…"

"But the apartment is like ten blocks away."

"It's okay; I'll just get a cab."

"You sure you are okay?" Casey questioned with an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, I am totally fine" Brooke said, letting out the breath she was holding as she continued to study the building, forcing out a smile for Casey.

"Well, I do need to get going, so you are sure you are okay going by your self?"

"Yep I will meet you there" Brooke said with a nod to her friend.

"Alright, but… be careful."

Brooke laughed "Alright" and with that Casey gave her one last questioning look before she turned and made her way down the busy streets, disappearing in to the mass of people before Brooke turned back to the building. She glanced around to see if anyone was paying any sort of attention to her, and when she saw they were all engrossed in their chores, she swiftly slid past them and into the open room.

It was quieter in there than it was out there, yet it was completely empty. The walls were gray, the floors sandy, proving that barely any construction had taken place in there. Her eyes scanned the room, and she tried to picture it with maroon walls, dressed tables, candlelight, the sound of music playing softly, and then a familiar face flashed into her mind and disappeared as fast as it came.

"Excuse me?" a deep, gruff voice bellowed, and Brooke turned around sharply with a gasp, holding her hand to her chest.

She exhaled when she saw it was a construction worker, and by the way his eyebrow rose in question and his hands stood on his hips; she realized he had been calling her for quite some time.

"Yo, lady, you can't be in here." His voice was rough, jagged even, and the years of tobacco check showed clearly as his rotting teeth appeared. "We wouldn't want you to break one of your pretty little nails now, would we? So let's go. Move it or lose it, princess."

"I, um," she stammered. It was odd that she would do this, though. Normally, she would never have let anyone, especially construction workers, talk to her like that.

"Take it easy, Morris," said another deep voice behind her and Brooke sighed in annoyance, ready to turn around and give the next fat guy a piece of her mind.

"Listen here," she started as she turned around. However, instead of being greeted with the sight of dark circles and fat rolls, she was surprised with sparkling blue eyes and a killer smile, finding herself at a loss of words again.

"Brooke?" he asked.

"Uh, um, what-What are you-Who," she stammered, cursing herself under breath as she shut her eyes tightly, placing a hand on her forehead. She let out a breath and dropped her hand, opening her eyes again to find soft eyes and a comforting smile staring at her.

"Hi," she tried again, forcing a smile on her face.

"Hi…"

His voice was full of laughter, probably caused by her way of stumbling over her words. But then, once the 'hellos' were out, a silence hung in the air and they just stared at each other, neither knowing quite what to say or do.

Then a forgotten voice behind them spoke roughly, "Boss?"

"Huh?" asked Lucas unintelligently as he reluctantly tore his eyes away from the brunette, a smile still gracing his face.

Morris blatantly pointed at Brooke with his eyebrows and asked, "You gonna keep her here, boss?"

"Um, yeah," he smiled, his eyes focused on Brooke. "Hey, um, I think Louis is calling for you in the back. Why don't you go see what he needs?"

"Damn morons, I am telling you, these people don't know shit from bricks, I gotta do everything around here!" Morris grumbled as he slumped away.

"Well, he is just a ball of sunshine," Brooke smiled.

"Sorry about him."

"Eh, it's okay. I get worse everyday on the way to work. Only, normally, it is whistles and cat calls."

He smiled at her in response, and then the silence came again, and with it an awkward tension.

Brooke's eyes skimmed around the place, trying to keep herself occupied.

In an attempt to break the ice, Lucas cleared his throat, crossing his arms over his chest and saying, "So, uh, what are you doing here?"

"I'm not really sure to be honest," Brooke said, letting out a nervous laugh.

"Would you by any chance be looking for me?" he asked with a sudden boldness and a hopeful expression that looked like a smug smile to Brooke.

"Something like that," she muttered under her breath as she peered at him through her lashes.

It had been years since she's last seen him, but his face was one she would never forget. His shaggy blonde hair was shorter than it had been—she thanked God for that—a 5 o'clock shadow marring his face. Four years ago, he was much skinnier, despite the hours he spent in the gym. However, it was clear this was not the case this time around; his biceps stretched his shirt, and a hard chest wasn't difficult to notice. The rugged look suited him well, Brooke thought with a smile, her tongue peeking out to moisten her lips.

Shaking her head from her thoughts, Brooke tried speaking again. "The, uh, the place is coming along real nice."

"How did you know—?"

"Haley and Nathan stayed with me last night."

"Oh, right," he said, nodding his head.

And then a third silence fell upon them and they both looked away nervously, stealing glances at each other as they tired to figure out what to say.

She picked at invisible lint from her outfit and he inspected his nails carefully.

The sound of rumbling machines and mad men were heard from outside.

A man in a dirty uniform, holding a screw driver in one hand and a wooden board in the other came inside to walk past Lucas and Brooke.

He didn't get past Brooke, though, instead stopping to look her up and down with hungry eyes and let out a whistle. "Damn," he exclaimed, smug smile on his face.

Brooke turned to him with a hand on her hip and a disgusted look on her face. "_Excuse_ me?" she asked, eyebrow raised in annoyance.

The man's smile remained on his face and he moved closer to answer.

"Get your ass back to work," commanded Lucas quickly, moving closer to Brooke possessively.

"I'm going. I'm going," said the guy, holding up his hands in defense and taking a step back. He looked at Brooke again, who seemed to be more annoyed now, and smiled once again, winking at her.

Lucas' glare hardened and the man drew back with a grumble, turning to walk away.

"Sorry about that. I think it is time I sat down with my workers."

She smiled. "It's fine—really. If anything, in a totally gross, disgustingly weird way, it is somewhat gratifying, I guess."

He chuckled at her statement, saying nothing else.

"So, uh, what made you decide to do it?" she asked.

"Do What?" He asked

"This..." Brooke said looking around the empty room

"Something new, I guess," he shrugged.

"Well, don't you sound inspired," she joked.

He let out a laugh before shaking his head. "No, the inspiration isn't a problem, trust me. That hit me strongly back in Tree Hill."

"Then what is?" Brooke asked curiously.

"Nothing," he smiled. "There is no problem now."

She nodded slowly. "Well, I should probably get back to work," Brooke said sheepishly, kicking a pebble at her feet.

"Yeah, of course. It was great seeing you."

"You, too," she smiled. "I'll see you."

"Come in anytime."

"For sure," she said. "Bye, Luke."

"Bye, Brooke," he smiled as her body started walking in the direction of the doorway. He, for some reason, however, stayed glued in place, watching her figure before she stopped walking and turned around.

"Lucas," she called.

"Yeah?" he asked hopefully.

"You look good."

"You, too," he smiled.

_Say the first thing that  
Comes into your mind when you see me  
If it looks like it works and it feels like it works  
Then it works  
With the sun on your face  
All these worries will soon disappear  
Just follow me now_

_**Xxx**_

She scribbled distractedly on her sketchpad, pen lazily moving around to form little bundles of pink hearts. Her head lay titled in one hand, her eyes glazed over and she seemed to be deep in thought, mind in a daze.

Sitting atop Casey's desk, one leg over the other so that the skin tight pants stretched across his firm thighs, Dante, a thin black bold man, who worked with Brooke and Casey, stared at her wonderingly, a hand over one of his legs, the other supporting him on the desk. "What do you think she's thinking about?" he said in a low voice, turning his head ever so slightly to the left, keeping his eyes locked on Brooke.

Casey shrugged as she moved about on her chair, stacking papers and taking calls. "Who knows?"

"Well, stop working and try and help me figure it out," Dante demanded.

"Don't you have work to do?" Casey asked, all the while continuing her work.

He waved a hand in her direction. "This is _so_ much more important," he said with a smile.

Casey rolled her eyes and dropped a stack of papers on her desk in front of her, finally taking a look at Brooke. "Okay, look, nothing is wrong with her. She's...drawing for the fashion line," she said, turning back to her computer.

Dante opened his mouth in an inaudible gasp. "How can you say that? Look at her!" he whispered commandingly.

Rolling her eyes again, Casey turned back to the brunette sitting at her desk.

Now, the pen was sitting on the pad, and Brooke's head lay still in her hand, her arm crossed under her.

"She looks like a poor little kitten," continued Dante.

Casey had now decided that Dante was right and stopped the little work she was doing and examined her roommate. "Hey, you know, she was acting weird this morning . . ."

"Really?" asked Dante, turning in his spot to face Casey with a smile like that of a Cheshire cat. "So, spill," he said, touching her hand quickly.

"Okay, well, we had coffee at the café like every morning, and we left and were walking down the street and we got to the restaurant that is being build down on 5th—"

"Oh, you mean The Red Feather? I heard it's going to be _fabulous_!" Dante gushed. "And the owner—_totally_ hot!"

"I know, right?!" Casey smiled. "But I think Brooke knows him... or something, because we got in front of it and she just totally froze up, and you know I saw pictures back from her Hicksville days and he looks exactly like the guy…"

"Lucky bitch. Please tell me he is giving her what she so desperately needs."

"I don't know I didn't ask, but I mean, she was being really weird… so I guess you never know…"

"Oh, my God. Thank God. I was wor-Wait a minute! She can't be sleeping with him. She is depressed."

"Maybe he is bad," Casey shrugged.

"Maybe . . ." Dante paused to ponder, hitting his index finger to his lips as he looked to the ceiling of the office, Casey taking a moment to think as well.

"You two _do_ know that I am sitting all of two feet away from you and can hear every word you are saying, right?" Brooke finally spoke.

"So do you care to join in on the conversation?" asked Casey, abandoning her work and leaning over her desk with a large smile on her face.

"No, not really," Brooke said, giving out a large sarcastic smile. She looked down to her nails, biting at the cuticles.

"Stop it. You are going to make them ugly," Dante said, smacking her hand away, earning a glare from an already on edge Brooke. "So tell us, Brookie, darling. What is up your ass today? Or better yet, who?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"Don't you have work to do?"

"Most likely," he droned.

"Then why don't you do it?"

"Oh, this is so much more fun, darling," he smiled, only causing a groan and an eye roll to come from her.

"_Why_ are you guys more interested in my life than you are in yours?" Brooke asked, glaring at the two.

"Because Casey is a slut and, well, being as fabulous as I am gets rather boring. So spill already: How is he?"

"And 'he' would be?" Brooke questioned.

"Oh, don't you play stupid with me, missy. He' who has you spacing out and brooding."

"Brooding?" she asked incredulously. "I'm not brooding," she said, touching a hand to her chest. "I am sitting here...doing my work." She gave them a smile and ripped the first page off of her sketch pad, placing the cap back on her pink pen. "_I _do not brood." Standing up, she picked up the sketch pad, holding it to her side and throwing the pen in her purse. "_Lucas _broods," she grumbled under her breath. She walked over to the other side of the desk, grabbed the paper and crumpled it in a ball. "_I _am cheery!" The paper landed directly in the bin. Huffing, blowing her bangs out of her face, she let out a breath and poised herself, looking at the two, who both had an eyebrow raised as they stared at her. "And now," she said in a calmer voice, "I am hungry and you two need to get lives and get out of mine in the mean time. I am done being the object of your gossip fest. Goodbye."

She strutted off madly, heels clicking against the marble floor, auburn locks flying behind her.

"Oh, yeah. They are totally not having sex," Dante said after a minute or two of silence.

"Oh, yeah. Definitely not," Casey firmly agreed.

_I find careful patterns in the snow  
It seems you did come round but changed your mind  
If you'd just take ten more steps to me  
I won't ever ask you again_

_**Xxx**_

"So are you going to tell me about what happened this morning or am I just going to have to assume Dante is right?" Casey asked as her and Brooke picked at their salads.

"Nothing happened this morning; I really don't know what you are talking about."

"Oh please. You froze up like an ice cube when we got to that restaurant and I remember reading an article about it and there was a picture of the owner, and lets just say he looked it exactly like another picture you showed me of a certain boy from your past who just happens to…"

"It is him, he moved here a few months ago, Haley told me this morning" Brooke said softly, cutting Casey off as she pushed the contents of her salad around in the large plastic bowl.

"So what does that mean?"

"Nothing?" Brooke said raising an eyebrow. "We are just friends; it is just weird that he is here…"

"I can imagine."

"Why do you say that?"

"You know exactly why."

"So we didn't leave off on that great of a note…"

"From what you told me… you guys didn't leave off on any note… you _left_ a note and then high tailed it out of there without giving him a chance.

"It was a complicated situation…"

"Yeah that you made complicated" Casey said putting her fork at Brooke

"No offense, but you weren't there, the situation was messy and I had to leave."

"You are right, I wasn't there, but I am going off of what YOU, yourself told me and from what you told me, you left with out saying anything, and that is fine, whatever it is your choice, but then not calling him for four years…"

"It isn't like he tried that hard to keep in touch."

"Brooke he called you none stop for like six months," Casey said dramatically before taking a bite of her salad.

"I just needed a clean break, I don't think that is so bad" Brooke defended.

"You are right, there is nothing wrong with that, but knowing what you knew you should have ad least talk to him once."

"Knowing what I knew is exactly why I didn't talk to him. I thought you understood that?"

"I did understand it and you know that, and if it works for you, which may I just say I don't think it does, then whatever, but you are going to do some thinking because things are about to get even messier then they were when you vanished from Hicksville, and this time you can't run."

Casey put the lid on her salad before she threw it in the garbage bin and walked away, leaving Brooke to sit and think about what she had said. Cursing slightly she put her head in her hands.

Casey had never been more right, and this was the one time Brooke needed her to be wrong.

_Just because I couldn't say doesn't make me a liar  
I noticed a change in the tone of your voice  
It's so clear  
My role in this mess  
Is not something that I can be proud of  
But it's all going to change_

_**So? Please share your thoughts.**_

**Thank You's:**

**iluvmedou** I have to say… you are one of my favorite people on here. You ALWAYS review and you are always so sweet, it makes me smile when I see I have a review from you. I am glad you like the dynamics of this version. And Casey is going to be a bit edger, so I am excited and I hope you will like it. And I hope you like Lucas's return. Thanks again so much for review, it means a lot and it keeps me going. So thank you.

**TypoKween**Development was one of the main reasons I re wrote this story. I felt the first version was lacking it greatly and what I have planned need a good ground to grow on, so I am thrilled to hear that you were able to see that. We will find out soon enough where Brooke went, lol, okay, actually not all that soon, but I guess I have to have something to keep you all reading right? And Dante will be back shortly, I love writing him and you can expect a lot of him. About the typo's, lol they are kind of like… my thing. Lol, but I am trying to do better, I have Lynn betaing for me and I try and look over it a few times but some times things slip, I hope it didn't take away from the chapter to much though. Thank you so much for your review, it is always that much more amazing when an author you personally love reads your work, and then on top of that reply's with positive feedback. It made my day when I read your comment and I hope you continue to read, enjoy and review. Thank you again so much for your thoughts.

**jeytonbrucasnaley**Like I mentioned to TypoKween, it is always great when an author you love reviews your work. I seriously love every one of your stories and the fact that you are reading mine is like… an honor? Lol, idk, but it is great to know you are reading and I hope you are enjoying it so far.

**Awhero: **Well your review just had me smiling like an idiot. Thank you for being honest. It is one thing to get a review but it means so much more when something is being honest with you. So thank you. What you said really made me feel great, it is probably one of the nicest reviews I have ever gotten and I thank you for that. As for this new version, I know you weren't too thrilled with eh first chapter, but I hope this chapter is a bit better for you. I think in the end you will see why I went back and re wrote this, and I hope you like the changes. After all I write to please. So thank you again for your wonderful… and helpful words, they meant a lot and I hope you continue to read and review.

And to **othfan326****catcat51092****apple01****whiters****wtlozy****Seth-n-Summer4ever** and **B.P.Davis****… Thank you all for all of your reviews, I am so glad you guys are enjoying so far and I hope to keep you all happy through out. Thank you all so much for your reviews, they mean a lot and they are the reason I write, so please continue to read them so I can continue to write, lol.**


	3. Turn This Thing Around

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Summary: **_There are moments we find ourselves at crossroads, afraid, confused with out a roadmap; the choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days._

**Authors Note: **Hey ya'll. So even though I personally liked the last chapter there was still not really a jump in reviews, the was a decline actually… so I don't know what to think, part of me thinks that it is because it is a re write and part of me is starting to think maybe you guys just aren't liking this version because the other one did much better in the review department. If you guys don't like it you don't like, but tell me what I can do to change that.

This chapter is pretty much the same as the old one, its really just a filler, but still I would love some feedback, so please hit that little button at the bottom that reads 'submit review'. I'd appreciate it.

Oh, and thank you TypoKqueen, **I enabled the anonymous reviews**, so feel free everyone to just let your thoughts pour out!

**Thank you's are at the bottom!**

Here's chapter three. Enjoy and review.

* * *

**When Your Dreams Died**

**Chapter Three: Turn This Thing Around**

_I never really gave up on  
breakin' out of this two-star town  
I got the green light  
I got a little fight  
I'm gonna turn this thing around_

Brooke grumbled in annoyance when the door bell rang again. "I'm coming!" she shouted, plucking the pin out of her mouth and sticking it in the pink pincushion.

She got off her knees, leaving the mannequin to stand, half dressed, alone.

Opening the door, she was ready to yell out when she saw it was Haley. "Oh, thank God!" she exclaimed, sighing in relief. She grabbed her by the arm and dragged her inside.

"Brooke, what—" Haley began to say until she spotted Brooke's living room. The place was covered in shreds and layers of colored fabrics, notebooks and sketchpads, pencils and pens, pins and needles, scissors and all sorts of supplies. A mannequin stood in between the coffee table and couch, the torso of a red dress and its sleeves pinned to the top of it. "Brooke, it looks like a tornado stormed through here. What's going on?"

"I _need _you help," the disheveled brunette told her drastically, holding out her hands in a plea in front of her. "I have 13 days, counting today, to make draw up a whole fashion line, and I'm nowhere near finished."

"Oh no, no no, not again, do you remember the last time I told you I would help, uht uh, no way"

"Oh, come on, Haley. This is _for real _this time. I _need _you! Please!" she whined, stomping one foot on the carpet of her home.

"K clam down, breath" Haley smoothes, placing her hands on Brookes forearms and taking a deep breath which Brooke followed in doing 'How much do you have done, and how much do you need to get done?"

Brooke bit her lip and glanced towards the mannequin. "I have half a dress done," she said, wincing when Haley did so, "and I need 9 and a half more to go." Haley's eyes widened and Brooke stepped back, putting her head in her hands and letting out a wail. "I know! I know!" Lifting her head from her hands she said with a hopeful look, "That's why I need you, Hales." She pouted her lips and stared at Haley with an innocent look on her face. "Please."

Haley rolled her eyes good naturedly, offering Brooke a small smile. "Okay, okay," she sighed. "But on one condition," she continued, raising her eyebrow at Brooke who nodded her head. "You do _not _beat me with a stick this time."

**Xxx**

"Oh, that's it. I am so _screwed_," Brooke growled, throwing the piece of fabric onto the other side of the couch angrily. "We've been sitting here for three _hours _and we've barely gotten anything done!" she whined.

Haley looked at her sympathetically, dropping the material in her hand. "Yeah, we did. Look," she held up a turquoise piece of fabric that was stitched into a cylinder, "this could be a sleeve, and this," she lifted a fluffy, orange piece, "could be the top," she ended with a grin at Brooke.

"Haley, this is _not _funny!" Brooked said with a frown. "This is my job," she whined, throwing her head back on the plush, purple couch.

"I'm only kidding, Brooke," she said, sighing when her friend said nothing. She lifted herself from the Indian position on the ground and moved to sit next to Brooke, placing her hand on her thigh. "Look, you can do this. ...All you need is a plan," she said with a small smile.

Brooke threw up her hand in the air and let it fall back down angrily. "But I'm not good with plans!" she huffed. "_You're _good with plans, and making everything perfect, and...Organizing."

"You should see what my apartment looks like," Haley mumbled with a snort.

It was Brooke's turn to smile sympathetically at Haley. "How's that going anyways?"

"Well--" Haley sighed looking around Brooke's apartment "I thought it was bad, but them I saw this..."

"Haley" Brooke whined "So not the time"

"Sorry sorry" Haley laughed

"I don't know what I am going to do" Brooke sighed

"Brooke, you have been waiting for this chance since high school, you have to put your everything in to it, and trust in your self and your talent that no matter what you put out, or better yet how much you put out that it will be good enough"

"Aw, Haley that is so sweet" Brooke smiled, causing Haley to reach out and squeeze her leg "But you haven't meant my boss so back to work!" Brooke demanded getting up from the couch and going back to her mannequin receiving a glare from Haley

**Xxx**

Hours had now passed, and dark was falling on the city that never sleeps, Casey had yet to come home, and the apartment looked just has bad as before, maybe even worse now with the pizza boxes scattered about and the Diet Coke cans, along with napkins and more strains of fabrics and threads.

"Brooke, I gotta go, it is passed midnight and Nathan is probably dying alone"

"But Haley--" Brooke whined

"Brooke you are an amazing and talent designer you've got this, all you need is your self."

"Ok Dr. Phil," she huffed with an eye roll "But last time I checked I was one person not a sowing army"

"I don't know what to tell you I have to go" Haley sighed grabbing her purse "I have a kid, an apartment and a husband to worry about" she explained opening the door

"And I have a career to worry about." Brooke sighed as the door shut. She tossed the piece of material in her hand aside with another sigh as she looked at the one piece they were actually able to get done, and well it looked great, she still had nine others to do and only 13 more days to do them in. Yep. She was screwed.

**Xxx**

She sat on the high chair at the counter, staring moodily into the cup of steaming coffee in her hands.

"You know, staring at it isn't going to disappear," he joked, leaning over the counter and smiling at girl who had become a regular customer over the years.

Brooke let out a prolonged sigh, lifting her head up as if it weighed a ton to look at the older man before her.

"Oh, come on, Brooke. What happened to the cheery girl that used to come here everyday for the last 3 years?"

"She realized that life sucks" she pouted

"Well I could have told you that" he laughed, causing a small smile to form on her face "There we go, I knew it as in there somewhere" the old man smiled as he continued to wipe off the counters

"Edward can I ask you a question?"

"You always do"

"Why does everything have to be so hard? It is like you wait and you wait and you work your but of for an opportunity and you finally get it, but it comes with this like impossible thing attacked to it"

"I wish I knew sweetheart, but yet here I am at 55 still wiping down my own counters" he laughed

"Everything was going fine a few days ago," Brooke said. "Maybe Nathan and Haley are bad luck," she pouted, earning a chuckle from Edward.

_**It's funny how you just break down  
waitin' on some sign  
I pull up to the front of your driveway  
with magic soakin' my spine**_

**Xxx**

It was a nice night outside, just the right amount of breeze floating through the air, a star-filled sky hanging above a rowdy New York City. The city was just as alive, if not more alive, in the night as it was in the day.

Despite all this, Brooke's mood remained gloomy as she sat inside the warm coffee shop, barely listening to the faint music that played as low lanterns lit the cafe with a golden glow.

She didn't turn her head when the door jingled and the heavy footsteps walked closer to her until the person they belonged leaned over to the counter, ringing the bell for service.

"Yes, sir," said Edward, turning to greet the customer. "What can I get you?"

"Just a black coffee, please," came the polite reply in a voice that sent a shiver down her spine and made her freeze in her seat, not really wanting to face him.

Edward nodded, turning to fix the man's order.

Lucas took a seat at the counter, tapping his fingers as he waited for his coffee. His eyes scanned the little cafe, the couches resting against the walls where couples sat with intertwined hands, the four or five standard brown tables in different corners of the room, and he breathed in deeply as his eyes roamed the are, the smell of the coffee bean very familiar to his senses.

Lucas shook his head. The place reminded him all too much of a little cafe back home, and it made him miss the special feeling he used to be overcome with over there, the feeling that was lacking here.

Turning his head to the side, he did a double take when he saw a brunette squirming in her seat.

"Brooke?" he asked eyes in a squint.

She turned slowly, hesitantly, in her seat. "Lucas," she said in an uneven voice, lifting her hand to send him the tiniest of waves, a small smile on her face. "Hi."

"Hey" he smiled "What are you doing here so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing"

"The restaurant is right across the street" he explained "I got tied up there and I guess I just didn't want to go home"

"Scared to be alone?"

"Something like that" he laughed "So, uh, how's everything going?" he asked.

"Good" she sighed running her figure along the edge of the coffee cup in front of her

He frowned. "It doesn't sound good."

"Okay, so it sucks," she said bluntly, turning to him with a pout.

He laughed "What's going on?"

"I got this great opportunity yesterday at work, to put out my own line--"

"Brooke that is great" he exclaimed

"I am not done"

"Okay," he said, nodding slowly.

She sighed, turning back to him to finish. "I have two weeks to finish," she revealed, waiting for him to widen his eyes or curse in shock.

But none of that came.

Instead, he sat there as if he thought there was more for her to say.

"And...?" he asked.

"And it's impossible!" she exclaimed.

He laughed, placing a hand on her arm to calm her down.

Eyeing him nervously, she waited for him to say something.

"Brooke, this is you we're talking about," he said with a comforting smile.

"Exactly," she said, returning to her scorching coffee.

"Exactly," he repeated, and she turned to send him a glare for agreeing, but he chuckled and quickly continued. "What I mean is that it is something I'm sure you can do." When she looked unconvinced he proceeded to say, "Come on, Brooke. This is something you've wanted all your life. You're not going to give up now, are you?"

"No, but—"

"But nothing," he interrupted. "What's stopping you?"

"The deadline?" she tried.

"It shouldn't be a problem for _you_, Brooke," he said softly, smiling at her. She remained silent and he continued. "Look, what if I offered to help?"

At that she turned swiftly in her chair with a hopeful look on his face. "Really?"

Lucas nodded, smile still on his face.

"But what about your restaurant?"

"What about my restaurant?" he smiled.

Brooke smiled at him and opened her mouth to say something.

"Here's your coffee, sir," Edward said, placing a steaming cup in front of Lucas. "Sorry that took awhile. Something was wrong with the machine."

"Don't worry about it," Lucas said.

"Be careful with this one" Edward said eyeing Brooke "She can be a handful" he smiled

Brooke gaped at him, smacking the man across the arm.

"See," Edward smiled.

"Trust me, I know," Lucas smiled slyly, taking a sip of his coffee as a defense against Brooke's wrath.

"I hate you both" Brooke pouted as she slumped back in her chair

"Aw, you love me and you know it," Edward smiled jokingly, wiping the inner part of a mug with a towel.

"Anyway," Brooke said, rolling her eyes, but then giving them a smile, "I've got to go."

"Oh," Lucas said, trying to hide the frown on his face, "where to?"

"I need more fabric, and there's place I know that might still be open," she said, earning a weird look from Lucas. "The lady's old," she whispered, leaning in to him a little. "Got nothing better to do."

Lucas chuckled, nodding his head. "Well, then, I'll see you later."

"Yeah, you, too," she said, grabbing her keys and moving off the stool. "Bye, Edward," she called, flashing them a smile before skipping out the door, leaving Lucas staring after her through the cafe's window with a dazed smile on his face.

"She sure is something else, I'll tell you what, you see of a lot of people in New York, but she is defiantly one in the millions" Edward smiled, pointing the to door she had just left

"I know" Lucas smiling, his eyes still having yet to leave to door she had just exited from

"So how do you know her?" Edward asked as he returned back to cleaning his mugs

"High school, we were-friends, really good friends"

"Well look at me, bring together long lost friends"

"Long lost is definitely for sure" Lucas sighed as he looked down at his coffee

"Well why is that"

"Life just took us each a different way I guess and we never really found our way back"

"Well it looked like you did tonight" Edward shrugged "Listen… Lucas is it?" Edward asked receiving a nod from Lucas "Listen Lucas, I don't know you very well, actually hardly at all, but Brooke, she is like a daughter to me, she comes in here every single night, and I will tell you what, for as bright and radiant as she is, there is something about the way she light up when she was talking to you, and it would be a real shame to let that go out. But hey, what do I know, I am just an old man running a café." Edward smiled with a wink

Lucas pondered what the man had said, offering a small nod of understanding as he then took out his wallet

"It's on me tonight, don't worry about it" Edward smiled "On one contention though---"

"And that is?" Lucas asked.

"Keep that smile on her face"

"I wouldn't think of doing anything else," Lucas told him with a smile, placing the bills back in his wallet.

"Have a good night Luca, I better be seeing you again soon"

"You will," Lucas promised, giving Edward a small wave before walking out, a hint of a smile on his face.

If Lucas Scott hadn't liked the coffee shop before, he definitely liked it now.

_so oh I don't mind  
if you don't mind  
'cause I don't shine  
if you don't shine  
before you go  
can you read my mind?_

_**Should I continue? Stop now and never look back? Let me know…**_

**Thank You's:**

**othfan326:** I'm glad you like the last chapter. If you liked Edward in chapter two I hope you liked this chapter, he is kind of like my whitey only for Brooke though. I hope you liked the Brucas encounter and I hope you enjoyed this chapter and continue to read, enjoy and review!

**TypoKween:** I gotta tell you I smiled extra big when I see you have reviewed and then I read them and they only make me smile that much more. Yes Dante does rule, he's the gay best friend I never had, so of course I had to bring him back. I am thrilled that other people are liking him just as much as I do. It makes me really happy to read your thoughts on the Brucas encounter because it exactly what I was going for. If you like Jamie I think you are definitely going to like what is to come in this story, but not for the reasons you are probably thinking (that's a hint, you will understand it later on)Thank you so much for reviewing, it makes my day and reviews like yours are why I write, so thank you so much!

**Whiters:** I'm glad to hear your enjoying so far/ Casey is my Rachel, only maybe no so outlandish, if that is the right word… lets just say she is like Rachel only edited to what I want her to be, lol, I really hope I can continue to please you and that you continue to read, enjoy and review this story.

**Brucas2006:** all in due time my dear… Everything will be explained, you are just going to have to wait a while, but it will all be revealed soon enough. I hope you are enjoying and continue to read and review, it means a lot to me.

**Seth-n-summer4ever:** I'm so glad that you picked up on both the awkwardness and the connection, I have to say, I was a bit worried that people wouldn't. Casey and Dante, or C and D, as I like to call them are my favorite to write, even just a little more the Brucas, I am not going to lie, just a little though. I have to say I am thrilled to hear that you like them too. Thanks for reviewing hun, it means a lot and I hope I can continue to make you happy.

**Jeytonbrucasnaley:** You're too sweet. I am not going to lie though, you are an amazing author and your stories are just as amazing and an inspiration to me. The fact that you are reading mine means a ton to me and I hope that I can do half the job you do. Thanks so much for your words and opinions.

**Awhero:** I gotta tell ya, your definitely one of my favorite reviewers for sure, no question. I love that you really tell me what you think and you go in to detail. Your reviews make me smile and I'm not going to lie…. When I saw your review I did a little dance, lol. You're the kind of reader/reviewer I strive to please so to hear that you are happy thrills me. Thank you so much for giving me the reviews you do, they mean a lot.

And to **Wtlozy** and **Princeton girl**, thank you for your reviews and I am glad you are liking the story so far and hope that you continue to review.


	4. Only on the Bad Days

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Summary: **_There are moments we find ourselves at crossroads, afraid, confused with out a roadmap, the choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days._

**Authors Note: **Hello again. So there was a slight increase in reviews last chapter and I just want to send out a big thank you to everyone. I hope you all like this chapter, I revised it a bit, it was originally two small filler chapters so I just took it and made it one _big_ filler chapter, lol, but the end is what is going to start this story going on its more angst- filled side, so I hope you all enjoy. I am not very impressed with this chapter, but sometimes you need fillers. So I hope it isn't that bad. Don't forget to review… even if it is just to tell me that this story sucks. Lol.

* * *

**When Your Dreams Died**

**Chapter Four: Only on the Bad Days**

_**You bite your lip  
You keep pretending that  
Your made out of stone  
You never let it show  
But everyone knows  
Gilrs can make you cry  
You find it hard  
To open up so you walk away  
It dont matter where you go  
'Cos everybody knows  
Girls can make you cry**_

The two stopped laughing for a moment when the ring of the bell sounded through out the small café, both turned to see who it was that had enter, both still smiling when they realize it was a familiar figure.

"Well you look in a much better mode then the last time we did this" Lucas smiled walking over to a smiling Brooke, taking a seat next to her before looking over to Edward giving him a warm smile "Hey Edward"

"Lucas" Edward nodded "Coffee?"

"Please" Lucas nodded, removing his gloves, setting them on the counter next to him before turning to Brooke

"So what is the cause of all the smiles?"

"I just slaved over a sowing machine all day and now I am ahead of schedule" Brooke smiled proudly

"And here a few days ago you doubted your self"

"Well it seemed impossible a few days ago"

"Ok so what changed?"

"Lets just call it a little voice in the back of my head" Brooke smiled taking a sip of her coffee

Lucas smiled, thanking Edward after he was handed his coffee "A little voice huh?" he smiled

"Yep" she said looking too him, letting the same smile small creep to her own face

_**Xxx**_

"Thanks again for dinner Luke, it was amazing." Brooke smiled as the two entered her apartment. It was late now, just after midnight. They had decided to go out to dinner after coffee at Eddies and end up getting caught up in conversation and staying until the restaurant closed.

"Any time" he smiled "I forgot how great it was to talk to you"

"I missed it" she said as they both stopped, she let a small smile form on her face as the two stood in the middle of the apartment facing each other, only inches apart, letting a silence fall upon them, letting their eyes slowly find the others.

"Well, I should probably go it's getting late" he said, breaking the silence, but not the eye contact

"Yea" she nodded slightly

"This was really nice; we need to do it again"

"I know" she smiled

"Ok, well call me later"

"Luke" she said once he turned to start to walk away

"Yea?" he asked, turning back to her

"Do you want some coffee or something?" she questioned

He paused for a moment, thinking about it, knowing he would have to be up in a mere four hours to go to the restaurant, never mind that they had just had coffee not mor then an hour ago. But there was something in the sparkle of her eyes that was making him stay, as if he was afraid that if he did leave he wouldn't be able to come back "Yea, coffee would be great" he smiled

"I'll—just go make it" she smiled back, there eyes meeting once more, making both their stomach flip flop slightly as that spark that they'd felt so many times before, seem to have been relight

_**Xxx **_

"So then I was like you must be kidding right and do you know what that little two cent hooker said to me?" Dante exclaimed as he sat atop Brooke's desk, thumbing through a few papers. Looking up from them though when she said nothing to his current rant. He sent her a questioning look as he studied her current form, she was leaning back in her large black leather chair chewing on the end of her pen, dark circles were clearly evident under her eyes and it was obvious that she hadn't gotten much sleep the night before but yet there was still a small smile spread across her face "Late night?" He smiled

"Hum?" She asked finally snapping out of her trance and looking up to him

"Please tell me this means you finally got laid" he smiled widely causing her to roll her eyes, sending him a glare before looking down to the papers that he was currently snooping through before snatching them away

"Can't you go snoop through Casey's life"

"Well one, Casey is boring and has no life, and two you are my fashionistia!" He explained dramatically "You are so much more interesting!"

"Well as flattered as I am, I have work so get out"

"Ouch" he said hopping off the desk and making his way to the chair in front of her desk "So tell me about him,"

"Him who?"

"Him who finally laid Brooklyn Davis"

"There is no him thank you"

"Doing it on your own, very nice, you always were more of an independent" Dante smiled receiving a glare "But I know you better then that, just tell me his name—or was it hot restaurant guy from your past, oh please tell me it was him"

"Go away" Brooke grumbled

"I want details on this guy!" Dante sang as he made his way away from her desk

"What guy, there is no guy!" she yell after him with a sigh as he just waved her off

_**Xxx**_

"So what's her name?" Haley asked as she sat across form Lucas as the two sat, eating their lunches at his desk

"What do you mean?"

"The girl that has you so tired, yet all smiles" Haley smiled taking a bite of her sandwich

"I don't know what you are talking about Hales" He smiled taking a bite of his own food

"Uh huh, I'm sure." She smiled, giving him a questioning look which he gave no response to "Fine keep your little secret, but I am going to find out one way or another"

"What secret" He laughed "There is no secret"

"Lair"

"I am not ly-" he started before the ringing of his cell phone filled the room causing him to excuse him self from his and Haley's conversation as he looked down to the caller ID a smile spreading quickly across his face

"Booty call?" Haley asked

"Hello?" he smiled answering the phone "Hey you"

"I will take that as a yes" Haley smiled

"Nothing much, I am just having lunch—you are welcome to join if you are free—oh, ok—sounds good, talk to you then—Kay, bye" he smiled before hanging up the phone and placing it back in his pocket getting a questioning look from Haley "What?"

"You know what" Haley smiled

_**Xxx**_

Casey stood in the door way of Brooke office, watching the phone conversation with a growing smiled, walking in further when Brooke finally hung up and making her self comfortable in the chair in front of Brooke's desk

"So Dante wasn't lying, there is a guy"

"There is no guy"

"Lair"

"I am not lying!" Brooke laughed

"Whatever, keep your little secret lover, I live with you, I will find out eventually"

"What secret?" Brooke questioned with an innocent smiled

"Whatever Brookie, just as long as you are getting laid"

"There is no guy" Brooke said going back to her work receiving an eyebrow raise and questioning look from Casey "What?"

"You know what"

**Xxx **

"Well well, look who is all smiles this morning" Dante smiled as he watched Brooke take a sit at her desk, her hair was perfectly done in lose curls, pulled away from her face by a headband, as her make up was light and flawless, complimenting the black pencil skirt which she'd paired with a half sleeved white colored button up shirt which had an elegant black dress fest over it. Her heals clicking happily on the marbled floors and a smile hung on her face as she got her self situated "Two mornings in a row. You must be getting laid" Dante smiled widely

"You do know that happiness doesn't revolve around sex right"

"Bullshit" Dante stated "You can't be happy if you aint getting any, it's a proven fact"

"Well I guess not because I am happy and haven't had sex"

"Ok, if it's not sex, which I highly doubt, by the way, then explain the pep to you step sister because I am not understanding it" Dante sighed

"I just finally feel like I have all my ducks in a row and I can take whatever life throws at me"

"Ok Oprah" Dante rolled his eyes "And what inspired this sudden burst of confidence"

"Just an old-"

"Brooke your mother is on line one" Jessica, the front desk receptionist buzz to Brooke, causing her to sigh, looking down to the phone before deciding agents taking the call "Tell her I will call her back later please Jess"

"She says it's important"

"Tell her that I am sure it is but I am too busy right now and I will call her back later" Brooke sighed. Her and her mothers relationship was still strained, to say the less, and normally when her mother call with something "important" it was normally nothing more then to beg her about coming back to California so her mother to show off her "Up and Coming designer daughter" too all her friends at some big expensive event that made Brooke want to stab both her eyes out.

"Ok too clearly it is not your mother, so let's hear it, who is your Dr. Phil?" Dante asked eagerly awaiting her answer

"Myself" Brooke shrugged as she went to work reading the collection of emails that had stacked in her inbox

"Oh please" Casey laughed

"Hey! I am all I need thank you!"

"Ok some one gag me please" Dante said rolling his eyes

"Look you guys really need to-"

"Brooke!" Carolina called; her heals clicking on the floor as she made her way over to the three, examining the scene in front of her "Do you work here?" She asked Casey "Wait never mind, I don't care, just, do something other then nothing and sit up, you look like a hunch back" Carolina demanded to the blond, before turning back to Brooke, "I need your beginning sketches" she instructed Brooke, who took them out of her bag as Casey continued to mock Carolina from behind her, Dante sitting now on Casey's desk rather amused

"Here yeah go" Brooke said with a small smile, handing her the sketches, as her older black hair boss with a few to many wrinkles for some one as wealthy as she was should have. Carolina lips pressed together as she looked through them, nodding every once in a while but other then that normally keeping on a blank face as to give away not even one hint as to what she was thinking.

"Well, they need work" Carolina handed them back to Brooke, who looked down to them some what surprised "But I think they would improve if you had your own office"

"What?" Brooke asked looking up immediately

"More space, and less distractions" Carolina explained turning to Brooke two giggled co works behind her, glaring the two who instantly stopped at the simple glimpse of the glare "You can take Michelle's"

"Well where is Michelle going to be?" Brooke asked

"Hell if I know. I fired her yesterday." she said as she saw Brooke open her mouth to speak. "You'll move in tomorrow," she said, turning her back and walking away from the trio.

When she was gone, Brooke turned to Casey and Dante. "What just happened here?"

"She insulted you," Dante said nonchalantly.

"And then she offered you your own office," Casey added, nodding her head, and then grinned and continued, "right next to hers."

Brooke glared at her and stuck out her tongue. "You know you're jealous."

"To be next to that devil? Please," she scoffed. "But now I get the pleasure of watching you get tortured," she teased.

"Like I am not already being tortured?" Brooke asked looking up from her sketches to the two sitting next to her

"I resent that" Casey pouted

_**Xxx**_

"So, week one is officially over, how do you feel?" Casey asked as her and Brooke sat on their large Brown plush couch, both their feet resting comfortably atop dark wooden coffee tale in front of them

"Great" Brooke smiled "I have the 4 dresses I needed done' done, and now I just have to finish up the rest by the end of next week, which judging by the time it took me to do these will not be a problem, I am golden" Brooke said leaning back deeper in to the couch taking a bite of her pizza

"Well I will admit I doubted you there for a minute, but you seemed to pull this off'

"Aw, thanks" Brooke said sarcastically

"Anytime" Casey smiled

"I don't know if I would have made it if it would have been anymore" Brooke sighed "I mean even one more piece and I would be done for"

"Well then just be happy it wasn't one more piece and bask in your glory!" Casey cheered holding up her wine glass

"To me" Brooke smiled sitting up

"To you" Casey smiled as well, tapping Brooke's glass with her own "Bottoms up sister"

The two finished their drinks and were talking now. It was late and there was only one small light lighting the small apartment, it was quiet and claim and the girls just sat on the couch relaxing, a comfortable silence joining them before Casey turned to Brooke

"It is Lucas isn't it?"

"What do you mean?" Brooke asked looking over to her

"The guy, you would never say his name, but he is the guy from your past he is—"

"Yes" Brooke cut her off before she could finish her sentence, leaning over to the table and grabbing the wine bottle filling her glass before sitting back "And no he doesn't know, and no I don't know if I am going to tell him and if I do I don't know when or how, so please don't say anything"

"Brooke-" Casey started

"We are just now talking, he just got here, we haven't spoken in four years… it is too soon"

"If you are always looking for an excuse there will always be one"

"Thank you for your insightful words, but I have this handled" Brooke sighed finishing off her full glass standing up and tossing the blanket to the side "I am going to bed"

"Brooke I just want to help"

"I know, and I am thankful for it, I just need to handle this in my own way" She said asking the bottle off the table again to refill her glass

"I thought you were going to bed?" Casey asked with a raised eyebrow at Brooke's newly full glass

"I am" Brooke shrugged taking the empty bottle in to the kitchen

"Then why-"

"Don't start please, I love you but you have no room to talk"

"You only have two months Brooke, you are going to have to deal with it some time" and with that Casey got up, looking to Brooke one last it before she made her way to her room leaving Brooke alone in the kitchen, looking at the empty bottle in her hand.

_**Xxx**_

"Brooke I need you to do one more piece" Carolina said bursting through Brooke office door the next day. Brooke looked up from her computer wide eyed at her boss. She was wearing a form fitting, very tight boat neck pencil dress her hair was swept off to the side and her make up finished off the out fight, but no matter how great she looked, nothing could hide the horror on her face at her bosses resent word

"What?" She stammered out

"Actually I need four extra pieces; I am giving you Monica spot in fashion week,"

"Fashion Week? That is a week away; my deadline was more then that"

"If you don't want fashion week I can gladly give it to someone else"

"No, I mean, of course I want it, it is just, I have to make 8 pieces in a week"

"You better get to work then" and with that the fiery want to be red (truly gray) haired woman was gone and out of sight, leaving Brooke to stare at the door wondering what the hell she was going to do.

_**Xxx**_

He went in to the smoking bar, memories from high school nights flooding back to him as he made his way further in to the bar. There were a few pool tables off to the side, a few booths in the corner, the smell of cigar smoke filling the decent sized bar creating a dirty cloud around it. It was an old bar, clearly from the seventy style wooden walls to the broken disco ball on the want-to-be dance floor, and then there she was, sitting atop the old bar stool, slumped over a glass of what he guessed to be vodka as he made his way over to her, placing his large hand on the small of her back and leaning down to her "Hey you" he said softly

"Huh?" se asked sitting up way to quickly, holding her head slightly as she looked over to him "Lucas" she squeal softly with a smile "Lukey what are you doing here!"

"I am here to get you" he smiled "Fun night?"

"Wait, why are you here to get me?"

"Well that nice bar tender over there called and said that you had a little to much to drink and he asked if I could maybe come get you and now here I am"

"Oh, I am not drunk" she giggled trying to hop off her stool but failed miserably falling right in to him "Ok; maybe I am a LITTLE drunk"

"Just a little?" He laughed looking down to her with a smile

"Hey man, thanks for coming to get her, I normally would just call a cab, but it is late and it's not really the safe part of the city. You were the person she said to call so I just figured I would give it a try"

"No, thanks for calling man. I appreciate it"

"No problem. Anything for Brooke" The young bar tender said with a friendly smile

"Know her well?"

"I use too, when she first moved her, but not so much anymore, just on her bad days."

"Alex is my buddy" Brooke smiled causing both man to laugh

"Well I better get her home and to bed, thanks again for calling"

"Any time man, take care, have a good night. Watch out for that one she is crazy"

"You're telling me" Lucas laughed before gathering Brookes things along with Brooke and leading her out to his car, opening the door and gently putting her in the front seat, buckling her in before shutting the door and getting in on his side looking over to her half asleep body. He pulled out of the parking space and made his way back to his apartment, taking comfort in the soft sound of her light snoring, smiling to him self as he listened. She always snored slightly when she was drunk, it was her dead give away, he got her so many times in high school "on account of snoring" as she called it.

He pulled in to his apartment complex going around and collecting her in his arms as she stirred slightly snuggling in to his body somewhat before the snoring started again, he couldn't help but laugh some what as he made his way to the elevator with her in his arms, she was helpless, but he was definitely glad to be the one to be helping. That much he was sure of.

He got her up to his apartment, carefully getting her out of the tight dress she was in and placing a pair of pajama pans along with a sweatshirt on her small body, trying to be as respectful of her as he could before tucking her in to his bed and making his way out to the couch, leaving his door open and falling asleep to the sound of her light snoring, giving him a familiar feeling he'd been missing for so long.

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't confused as to way she had the bartender call him of all people. But he would also be lying if he sai that deep down it made him smile widly. After four years he thought it was a lost cause and as he sat there watching her sleep, her chest raising and falling as her light snoring continued she couldn't help but think maybe there was still a chance for things to be the way they were before. Smiling slightly he leaned down stroking her soft hair slight as he laid a gentle kiss on her forehead before tucking her in to the covers more. He stood from the bed, examining her one more time, taking in her beauty as she slept before he turned off the light and made his way out of the room. The words of the bartender replying in his head as he left though as he tried to figure them out… what could it have possibly meant?

"_I use too, when she first moved her, but not so much anymore, just on her __**bad days**__."_

_**You act so tough  
You like to think  
You're indestructible  
But it only takes one blow  
Everybody knows  
Girls can make you cry  
Deep inside  
You got emotions that  
Are running wild  
But its out of your control  
And everybody knows  
Girls can make you cry  
**_

**So? Leave your thoughts.**

**Also, I am really sorry I didn't have time to do personal reviews this chapter, I just have a lot going on at the moment and lets just say that even though this was already written it is still a blessing I got it posted when I did. **


	5. The Slightest Clue

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Summary: **_They are both starting to let each other in, but Brooke's headed towards a downward spiral and Lucas isn't sure if he is the right person to help. The closer they get the worse things get, and they both start to wonder if they are really best for the other_

**Authors Note: **Nothing much to say other then enjoy and review...

The song is Self Conclusion but The Spill Canvas. It is truly my favorite song ever… depressing I know, but I HIGHLY recommend that you all listen to it on repeat trough this chapter, and read the lyrics that are there, it may give you some clues as to what is to come. I wrote this well the song was on repeat, so I just figured I would try and give you guys the full experience… hope you enjoy.

**Here is Chapter Five... leave your thoughts.**

* * *

**When Your Dreams Died**

**Chapter Five: **_**The Slightest Clue**_

_Fade in, start the scene  
Enter beautiful girl  
But things are not what they seem  
As we stand at the edge of the world_

It was just after 6 am now; the early morning fog that had rolled in on the city was now rolling away, letting the sun's bright peek start to show as the cool mid September air settled through the large and alive city.

Lucas was out on his balcony; a cup of coffee and the morning's news paper in his hand as he sat in the comfortable wicker chair, looking down the ten stories to the ground blow him. The pervious night had been odd for him, and as he continued to replay it in his head he couldn't for the life of him figure it out. Him and Brooke were just now getting back to friendly terms after not speaking for almost four years, and well he was more then happy to help her, but it shocked him some what, and as he replayed it in his mind, her old self kept coming to mind. The old Brooke who supported her self the through hard times with a bottle of vodka and a beer to chase it.

The look in her eyes as he help her out to his car continued to flash through his head, the spark of need the shined dimly throw her eyes sent a familiar feeling back to him. And now, just like then, he didn't know what to make of it.

_Excuse me, sir,  
But I have plans to die tonight  
Oh, and you are directly in my way  
And I bet you're gonna say it's not right  
My reply, Excuse me, miss  
But do you have the slightest clue  
Of exactly what you just said to me  
And exactly who you're talking to_

She woke up to find her small frame dressed in a large oversize sweatshirt, along with a pair of baggy sweatpants, the familiar feeling sending a small smile to her face as she stretched in the bed. It took her a minute to realize that her surroundings were definitely not her room, and these were defiantly not her sweats. In fact, she'd never seen either thing before in her life, and as she sat up, the pounding her head almost instantly explained her memory lost.

Waking up and not remember the pervious nights events had become some what of a habit for Brooke. Though, yes, her life in New York was a _slightly _successful one, there was a void in her that it seemed only the numbing of being completely intoxicated past the point of remembrance could fill. It was never that she didn't have a good life. It was never that she wasn't grateful for what she had, but it always seemed as though no matter what age, no matter what place, there was always a void she could not feel, and the knowledge of that was enough to make anyone need something stronger then they could handle.

When she was little she used rebel to fill it, acting out against her absent parents wishes, and when she got a little older she found gratification in boys. Later she discovered alcohol and all those things seemed to melt together perfectly, and for a while it worked for her, numbing her pain with shots of vodka, and fulfilling a small portion of her need to be wanted in a _meaningless_ fuck. But things did change at one point, and at that point, all seemed to be ok, it all seemed like maybe it could be ok. That simple sense of want and love fulfilled all her pain that she no longer needed something to fall back on and by eliminating her only crunch, when her new loving, wanting world was ripped out from under her, she had nothing to fall back on, there for she found she need to build her crunch up stronger and faster then ever before.

_She said, "I don't care, you don't even know me"  
I said, "I know but I'd like to change that soon, hopefully"  
Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion  
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion  
You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it  
No matter how unbearable this misery gets_

She made her way out of the room, surveying her surroundings, taking in the descent sized loft, knowing now, as she mad her way to the open balcony door, exactly who it belonged too

"You're up early" her voice was dry as she spoke, her small figure leaning against the frame of the door, looking out to him as he read the news paper, looking up when he saw her

"I could say the same thing to you. I wasn't expecting to see you until ad least noon"

"Yea well I had to learn how to manage a hang over and getting up early the minute I took the job I did"

"So you have lots of late nights I take it?"

"Not necessarily" she said making her way over to the chair next to him, pulling her legs in under body as she looked out to the city beneath her. "I use to go every night with Casey, but it got to be a little to much, the whole waking up and not knowing what happened the night before is only fun for so long. And my job started getting more demanding and I had to learn that this wasn't college anymore so I laid back a bit. I would still go out but I would try not to drink so much, but I guess last night I kind of just throw that out the window" she chuckled

"Why?"

"I don't know" she shrugged. "It just got to be a little bit to much and I needed a way out I guess…"

"Why didn't you just call me?"

"Sometimes you need to get away with something stronger then talking to someone."

"Brooke you can't drink your troubles away" Lucas said looking over at her.

"I know that, it's just, sometimes it's nice to think you can."

"Next time call me please" he laughed.

"You sure you want that?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

"Positive"

"Fine, but I think that if that happens you are the one that will need the alcohol." She said, her tone completely serious as she looked away from him as he studied her, not being able to shake the feel that there was something she wasn't telling him… something she needed to say but couldn't, something she _needed_ to hide.

_You make it sound so easy to be alive  
But tell me, how am I supposed to seize this day  
When everything inside me has died?"  
My reply:  
"Trust me, girl  
I know your legs are pleading to leap  
But I offer you this easy choice_

_**Xxx**_

"You sure you want to help me with this?" Brooke asked as she opened the door to her apartment letting Lucas in following behind him setting her things down on the small table in the kitchen area

"Anything for you, plus, I need to get away from the restaurant for a bit"

"How is that going?" Brooke asked as the two made their way in to the living room slash Brooke's current work studio. "The restaurant I mean, it seems to be coming along nicely."

"Slowly but surly, I still don't know what possessed me to do it."

"Yea, I can't help you on that one" she laughed as she started to look through her things, trying to figure out where to start.

"It was originally just suppose to be an investment and then it turned in to more. I don't really now to be honest, I guess I just figured I have the money so what the hell"

"Well how un-'Lucas Scott' of you"

"What is that suppose to mean?" he laughed sitting down on her plush red couch watching her as worked.

"It is just so whimsical of you, so not secure."

"Hey I can live on the wild side sometimes"

"Sure you can" she laughed, getting up from her spot on the floor and making her way into the kitchen "Can I get you anything?"

"Something to drink would be great, what do you have?" he questioned, looking over his shoulder and watching her as she opened the fridge and examining its insides.

"Beer" She laughed taking out two, and walking over to him, handing him one before opening the other

"Brooke it is eight in the morning" Lucas said watching her take a rather hefty sip of the dark brown bottle.

"Nothing better to cure a hang over then what got you hung over right?" she smiled.

"I am pretty sure that is not what got you hung over."

"Close enough, plus, I think it is a little to early for tequila-bombs and vodka shots don't you"

"Yeah" he laughed uncomfortably. "I think it is a little to early for beer too" he said getting off the couch and making his way with the beer in to the kitchen before placing it back in to the otherwise empty fridge.

"Suit your self" she shrugged taking another sip.

"Brooke when was the last time you went shopping?"

"Um… about two months ago" she laughed.

"Yea I can tell, what the hell do you eat"

"Anything really, normally pizza, sometimes we splurge for Chinese"

"Still can't cook I take it?"

"Nope" she smiled as she started sowing on a sleeve to one of her dresses.

"Well at least you have the sowing down" he smiled as he watched her hard at work on the sleeve, but that smile fell when he saw her pick up the bottle of beer and take another sip " Brooke you would tell me if something wasn't right, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Just…" he started, making his way over to her before stopping being cut off by her phone

"Hold that thought" Brooke said hopping up from the couch to go get the phone, smiling after she said hello, clearly happy to hear from who ever was on the other end

"Sweetie that is great!" He heard Brooke gush "I bet you did amazing… I wish I could have been there" he saw her smile shrink slightly in to a small frown, and he looked to her eyes seeing a happiness as she listened the to the voice on the phone, but he could always see the small lines of sadness twisted in with it "Well I know you have to go but thank you for calling me back… yes ma'am I will see first thing Friday afternoon… I wouldn't miss it for the world" the smile was back on her face and bigger and ever as she rapped up the phone call. Lucas to look up, he was not trying to ease drop but the apartment was small, and that feeling that maybe this phone call could have in some way contributed to her state was starting to eat at him.

"Sorry about that" She said hanging up the phone and making her way back to the couch

"Boyfriend?" Lucas questioned

Brooke let out a loud chuckle as she sowed "No" she laughed again looking up at him. He wanted to push, he wanted to ask question, to find out who it could have possibly been but the look on her face was the same from this morning now. The one where she wasn't telling him something, and that was for a reason "What?" She questioned as he continued to study her

"Nothing," he said shaking him self out of his stare "Listen I got to go down to the restaurant"

"But I thought you just said that you were sick of it and that you needed to get away?"

"Yeah, but I forgot that there is a guy coming in today."

"Can't your workers handle it?"

"No, I need too"

"Oh, ok then, go I guess, do what you gotta do" she said looking up from her dress.

"Listen I will make it up to you I promise"

"Don't worry about it Lucas" Brooke smiled "Maybe I will splurge for Chinese tonight, care to join?"

"Yeah, that sounds great" he smiled back. "I'll see you tonight then."

"You bet" she said with a wink and watching him as he grabbed his jacket and made his way out of the apartment, the smile never leaving her face.

_She said, Are you crazy? You don't even know me.  
I said, I know, but I'd like to change that soon hopefully  
Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion  
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion  
You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it  
No matter how unbearable this misery gets_

Instead of dying, living with me

_**Xxx**_

"Well well, look who is back from their all nighter…" Casey said as she let the door shut it's self with a small slam as she made her way in the apartment plopping down on the couch "So random boy or random bar?"

"Random bar followed by a not so random boy, but nothing happened, I was just drunk and he came and picked me up."

"I am sure. Let me guess… he was blonde, totally hot and named Lucas?"

"Correct."

"And nothing happened? Right…."

"Really, he just picked me up, I sleep it off in his guestroom woke up came home and I have been working since but I need the apartment tonight"

"What, are you going to repay him for his hospitality?"

"Yes actually"

"Very nice" Casey smiled clapping her hands together

"Easy girl it is just dinner"

"I am sure"

"Casey" Brooke warned "Me and him are just friends"

"Whatever you say Brookie" Casey said pushing her self off the couch. "Just don't forget to stain proof the couch if you plan on using it, the last thing I need is a contaminated coach."

"Yeah because you haven't already taken care of that your self" Brooke called to her from her spot on the floor

"Oh, good point" Casey giggled form her room "Never mined then"

_I would be lying if I said that things would never get rough  
And all this cliche motivation, it could never be enough  
I could stand here all night trying to convince you  
But what good would that do?  
My offer stands, and you must choose_

_**Xxx**_

"Knock, Knock" Lucas called from outside the apartment

"It's open" Brooke called from the living room

"Hey" Lucas smiled as he entered carrying an armful of bags. "You know you really shouldn't…"

"…Leave my door unlocked and tell people to come in with out knowing who they are, yes I have been told this a time or two, but this way is so much more convent" Brooke said, hopping to her feet and making her way over to him "What did you get me?" She smiled following him in to the kitchen.

"Well the Chinese for starters, and I picked up some basic groceries, I figured you could use something other then beer and Kraft Macaroni and Cheese"

"But it is the blue box, the good stuff" she smiled hopping up on the counter, peering into the brown bag he'd just set down

"Yes, but you need more then that, so I figured if I didn't get it no one would"

"Well thank you" she smiled "What do I owe you?"

"Nothing," he said taking the bag from her and unloading it "Don't be silly, it is my pleasure"

"Well you can't pay for dinner and groceries that aren't even for you"

"Well the dinner is,"

"Well still"

"Brooke it really isn't that big of a deal" he said shutting the fridge "I am just happy to have dinner with you"

"Aw you are so sweet" She smiled hopping off the counter again and getting plates and forks for the two of them before she made her way past him to the fridge grabbing two beers and starting back to the table before he stopped her. He took the beers from her and put them back in the fridge before grabbing two waters.

"Since when don't you drink beer?" she questioned

"Since I had to pick you up last night completely drunk off your ass"

"One beer won't kill me Luke"

"Well you had one this morning, so you are good"

"What are you, the alcohol police?"

"Brooke I just don't think you should be drinking" he said sitting down, going through the cartons of food

"It's one beer!"

"One turns into two and two turns in to three and before you know it—"

"You are drunk off your ass?" She question sarcastically

"Yes actually" he answered turning to her "Look I am not trying to be a hard ass here you just had me worried last night"

"Ok, so next time I will just call Nate" Brooke said opening the fridge and grabbing the beer Lucas had just put away

"Brooke come on don't be like this"

"Be like what Lucas? I am not a drunk; I can have a beer with dinner, that doesn't make me an alcoholic"

"You're right, but last--"

"Last night didn't mean shit Lucas, so I had a rough day and decided to unwind a little to hard, my bad, I am not dead"

"Yet…"

"Ok stop it" Brooke said moving away from him out of her chair "Seriously, we haven't been talking long enough for me to be getting the third to degree about this from you"

"I am worried that is all"

"Well don't be, I'm a big girl and can take care of my self and I sure as hell can handle my alcohol, I've been doing it since I was fifteen"

"Brooke I just don't want anything to happen to you"

"And it won't, so let it go please"

He looked at her closely, not wanted to drop it, but afraid of the outcome if he didn't. So giving her one last glance he continued to eat, still not fully ok with the way Brooke was acting, but at this point, he could shut his mouth, or be out of her life. And as he saw it, it had been too long already and he couldn't stand to lose her again, so he kept his mouth shut, for now.

_All right, you win, but I only give you one night  
To prove yourself to be better than my attempt at flight  
I swear to god if you hurt me I will leap  
I will toss myself from these very cliffs  
And you'll never see it coming"  
"Settle, precious, I know what you're going through  
Just ten minutes before you got here I was going to jump too"  
Yeah we all flirt with the tiniest notion  
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion  
You see the trick is that you're never supposed act on it  
No matter how unbearable this misery gets_

_**So, let me know what you all thought. This chapter is mostly a filler/ stage for events to come, and I can't say it was one of my favorites, but it is what it is, and as Lynn said, if I hated it I wouldn't post it, but still, it isn't my favorite, but I hope you all liked it. Also, I am working on replying to every ones review to the last chapter, so if you haven't gotten yours yet I promise it is coming so look for that as well!**_


	6. Pace Yourself

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Summary: **_They are both starting to let each other in, but Brooke's headed towards a downward spiral and Lucas isn't sure if he is the right person to help. The closer they get the worse things get, and they both start to wonder if they are really best for the other_

**Authors Note: **So, again I have a rather large drop off in reviews, so I am just going to let it go, lol, but I will send out a _**HUGE**_ thank you to all of you that have been reviewing, because for the most part you all have been reviewing every chapter, and a few amazingly great reviews are better then a ton of _'update soons'_… not that those don't mean a lot to… but there are extra long thank yous at the bottom to make up for my lack of letting you all know how much I love and appreciate the time you guys take to leave your thoughts.

Also… there is a lot of speculating on the last chapter… which was the point… but try not to get to set on something… I was seeing a few of you all had one thought… and I am just going to say, you might be wrong, but this story is all about twist, so I will leave you to ask your self this… would I really do something that predictable? Just something to ponder over… here is chapter six.

**Enjoy.**

**[[thanks yous are at the bottom**

* * *

**When Your Dreams Died**

**Chapter Six: Pace Yourself**

"_You cant write the same song over again  
its in the same key over again...ya  
because were doing so good makin up  
for miles just a little while like you would  
under estimating you know you think were doin  
so good im glad to be a part of the glass that you  
placed upon her with your heart in case and left for danger  
in a race to the rode on the way to apathy  
its lifes little let down spontaneity"_

_**[[Pace Yourself: The Higher**_

"Brooke what did I tell you about locking your doors!" Lucas called through the apartment as he entered the unlocked door, arms full of groceries as he made his way in to the kitchen to unload them. It had been just over two months now that him and Brooke had started talking again. They had been keeping each other company more and more and it was starting to feel a lot less awkward between the two, something they had both been relieved by. Their friendship had grown quickly, and now, Lucas would bring Brooke groceries every Thursday after work and then the two would eat dinner together, some times with Casey. Mondays Brooke would normally bring lunch to the restaurant and the two would eat at Lucas's desk. Friday through Sunday however Brooke seems to disappear and she never normally left an explanation, just a see you on Monday for lunch. Normally he would ask questions, but with them just getting on good terms he felt it wasn't his place to pry, so he didn't he just said okay and waited until Monday. They had settled in to a routine rather quickly and the two found a comfort that they had been missing for a very long time.

"I tell her the same damn thing, and does she listen? No. I'm telling her, one of these days…" Dante said walking out of Brooke's room and in the Kitchen

"Yes I know, I am going to be kidnapped or raped or killed, I get it" Brooke said following the bald man out and in to the kitchen as well "So what did you get me this week?" Brooke smiled hopping on to the counter next to were Lucas was unloading the few brown bags he'd brought over for her

"Same old same old" Lucas smiled

"Well that is boring" Brooke pouted peering in to the brown bag

"Then you can live off of Mac and Cheese again if this isn't exciting enough for you"

"Good point" she smiled "Thank you" she smiled kissing his cheek after hopping off the counter, slapping Dante's butt "You need to help me finish getting ready"

"Getting ready for what, the pizza is going to be here in like ten minutes" Lucas asked confused

"Broody did you not get my message? We are going out tonight, there is this great club opening down on the street,"

"I guess I didn't get that one, I am kind of underdressed for that"

"We can stop by your place on the way if you want, or I think I have some stuff in my closet"

"Why?" Lucas asked

"Because she is a whore, why else" Dante said simply before receiving a slap on the arm from Brooke "Watch it sister, I bruise like a peach and I plan on getting some tonight"

"And I am the whore?"

"Good point" Dante giggled

"I just have stuff from shots at the magazine and stuff" Brooke explained to Lucas "One of the jobs of being an intern is house all the shit they don't want to" Brooke smiled as the two men followed her in to her room

"Well is it ok if I wear it?"

"Yea, it isn't like they are ever going to use it again" Brooke shrugged going through her closet pulling out a simple black pin stripped button down collared shirt handed it to him. He took the shirt with a thank you and stood there for a moment waiting for the two to leave the room giving them both questioning looks when they didn't

"Well are you going to put it on?" Brooke asked with a laughed

"Aw, Brookie look he is shy" Dante teased

"I am not" Lucas fought back

"Then strip" Dante said giving Lucas a challenging smile before Lucas smiled back with a sigh pulling his T shirt over his hand and throwing it on the bed before un buttoning the shirt while Dante gasped grabbing Brooke's arm and squeezing it with a large smile "Excuse me" Dante said squeaking slightly as he made his way out of the room, turning to Brooke and mouthing 'oh my god!' when his back was to Lucas's

Brooke chuckled shaking her head as Dante left the room

"Well?" Lucas asked as he finished the last button on the shirt before turning to her holding his arms out letting her survey him

"Just…" she started, making her way to him before rolling up each of the sleeves just blow his elbow then stepped back "perfect" she smiled as the phone rang

"I got it!" Dante called "Brookie it is your mother!"

"Tell her I will call her later" Brooke called to him with a sigh rolling her eyes

"She says you have said that the last ten times and yet she has heard nothing" Dante called to her

"Just tell her I am really busy and I will call her when I can"

"She says-"

"Dante just tell her I will call her ok, please, I can't deal with that right now" Brooke said walking out of the room with Lucas behind him, making Dante bit his bottom lip as he held the phone away from his ear as Brooke's mother continued to scream at him

"Maybe you should just take the call" Lucas suggested

"And maybe she should have called ten years ago, I am sorry that she wants to be in my life now but it is too late"

"You could always give her a chance"

"Lucas who's side are you on, you know how bad things were when we in high school why should I give her a chance"

"Because she is your mother, and despite what she's done she probably really loves you and just wants to talk"

"Well I don't want to talk to her, so are we going to go or are you going to continue to play Victoria Davis's lawyer"

"Brooke it's not like that"

"Then lets just go ok" Brooke said a bit of anger rising in her as she grabbed her hand bag off the table

"Fine" Lucas sighed following her and Dante out the door, the current situation reminding him just how stubborn Brooke Davis really was

**Xxx**

It was late when they finished their dinner and the club scene was now roaring, there was crowds and crowds of people, music blasting and lights flashing all around. The sweat could be smelled the moment you walked in to the club. There was hundreds of people dancing and grinning themselves against each other as the music ripped through the club.

Lucas was a bit shell shocked at first, it had been so long since he'd been in a club period, let alone one of New York City's largest but after seeing Brooke and Dante walk in and instantly fit in perfectly he felt slight more uncomfortable, almost like he was a sore thumb. Lucas Scott was not a square by any means but clubbing really wasn't his thing and as Brooke grabbed his hand leading him to the bar he couldn't help but feel some what relieved for the seemingly endless supply of alcohol

"What are you two having?" the bartender asked over the music

"Um—lets go with a vodka on the rocks, and" Brooke started, turning to Lucas

"Just a beer is good"

"And a beer" Brooke smiled, causing the bartended to look her up and down giving her a smile as well as she prepared the drinks, setting them up on the counter once they were finished "What do I owe ya?" Brooke asked

"On the house" he smiled, as Lucas watched his eyes roam her body. She let out a giggle and a wink and Lucas was force to stand and watch the two shamelessly flirt for a few seconds before Brooke took both drinks handing Lucas his before grabbing his hand and leading him away from the bar

"It's crazy in here" Lucas yelled to her over the music

"I know, don't you love it" Brooke called back, turning to look at him slightly over her shoulder as she led the two up the set of stairs

"Um- where are we going?"

"VIP room"

"Ah, I should have figured the big up and coming designer would be VIP" Lucas smiled

"Shut up" she giggled as the two made there way in to the some what quieter room

"I don't think I told you how beautiful you look tonight" Lucas smiled as he took in her appearance again, she had on a simple, very short, black dress with a plunging neckline as well as the a plunging back, the dress fitting about the same as an old, over size tee shirt, the black stiletto she was wear with it made her legs seem to go on for miles while her hair was down in soft curls being pulled away from her face as her make up was strong, her eyes smoky and the clear lip glossy making her lips almost irresistible

"Aw, Luke you are so sweet" She smiled to him

He let out a laugh as she winked at him, taking her drink and slapping his butt before giving him a wave and making her way in to the crowd, leaving him to stand watching

**Xxx**

Lucas leaned against the bar watching as Brooke continued to throw back shot after shot as she stood at a table surrounded by a bunch of drunken guys who cheers grow louder for her with every shot

"And she does it all with out a chaser" Dante said with a sigh as he signal the bartender for a refill of his drink

"You know, she use to be a heavy drinker, but never this bad" Lucas sighed, looking down at his drink before setting it aside, his eyes going back to Brooke as she downed another drink with a ease, a smile gracing her face as she slammed the glass on the table making the roaring of the drunken man louder.

Dante snorted taking a sip of his Cosmopolitan "Please. This is nothing for her, you should have seen her a while ago, and the girl was like a bottomless pit"

"You mean she's been worse then this?"

"Oh yeah" Dante explained

"And no one has tried to help her? Get her to slow down, get her to stop?"

Dante laughed letting an amused smile spread across his face as he set his drink down on the bar "This is New York City sweetheart, we are all in the same situation as her"

"Why? It isn't like any of you have it that bad"

Dante laughed again "My' my child you have a lot to learn" Dante said taking a seat "New York is like a big ocean of people with problems that they have no idea how to handle, there for they think that alcohol, drugs or sex will fix them"

"Drugs?" Lucas asked raiding an eyebrow as he looked back to Brooke. Worry spreading through his face

"Don't get your panties in a twist; she is troubled, not stupid. Plus, anytime she is offered, she refused, as if you had slapped her best friend or something. In my opinion I say that is part of the problem"

"How do you figure?"

"Well she doesn't do drugs and up until you got here she wasn't having sex--"

"Oh, no, we are jus friends" Lucas cut him off

"Right, and I am not gay" Dante snored "But as I was saying, the space the drugs and sex would normally fill for any other problem ridden New Yorker Brooke fills with extra alcohol"

Lucas simply nodded "And no one can stop her? No one can help her?"

"No ones tried" Dante shrugged "But the thing with stuff like this is someone or something has to full the space that the alcohol or drugs or sex is"

Lucas nodded again giving Dante a confused look as his words sank in

"I took a course in human physiology" Dante explained

Lucas nodded in understandment taking another sip form his beer looking back out to the very intoxicated Brooke Davis in front of him. Dante's words replaying in his head as he studies her, and as he watches her it is almost as if her movements play in slow motion as ways to help her work there way through his head. He wasn't sure what the exact problem was, but regardless he knew there was one and he knew if he didn't try and fix it, she was going to try and fix it herself and if he did know one thing it was that her way of fixing it, was only going to make it that much worse.

_**So? I updated rather quick, so if you liked the speed, tell me and it might just have to happen again. [[wink**_

_Also, I hope you all pay attention to the song, there is a bit of hidden meaning there. But that is all I will say. You should defiantly listen to it if you get a chance, one of my all time favorite songs._

**Thank You's:**

**Awhero:** As usual you do nothing but make me smile. I am glad to hear that I keep you guessing… that was the point of the last chapter and I am thrilled to hear that it worked. But all I will tell you is to keep guessing… I know that will probably make you made at me… but what can I say, if I gave away the secrets then you wouldn't be reading. I hope you like what I end up doing though, just don't get to set on any one idea, but I promise I won't let you down. Also I just wanted to thank you for always reviewing, it means a lot more to me then people think, and I really do always smile when I see you have reviewed.

**Brucas True Love:** I only wish I could answer that for you, but as I said up at the top, I live to shake things up, I am kind of like the oth promos, I say one thing that really means another… so just keep that in mind. Thanks you reviewing, I hope I can continue to make you happy, and I hope that you continue to leave your thoughts, good or bad.

**Seth-n-Summer4ever:** You are too sweet. And very smart… I want to explore a different side of Brooke with this story. A Brooke that people don't normally write… [[I can explain that more if you want… just pm me and I hope that everyone will take to it okay. But I am really happy to hear that you are liking the story so far and thank you so much for reviewing all the time, it is girls like you that always do review that make me the happiest, especially scene you take the time to really let me know what you think… it means a lot and I just wanted to let you know. So thank you very much and I hope that I can continue to please.

**B. Davis:** It wasn't really that I didn't like the chapter, I just think it may be leading people in the wrong direction… but maybe that is a good thing… idk we will see right? Thank you so much for your review, it means a lot to me that you took the time to actually leave your thoughts on the chapter and I just wanted to tell you that. So I hope that I can continue to make you happy and that you continue to let me know what you think… good or bad. After all I am writing for you guys.

**Whiters:** So I am seeing I am not the only one that keeps secrets, now you have me dying to know what you think it is that Brooke is hiding… that is of course if she is hiding anything… haha, see I can keep secrets too, lol. I am sorry I haven't been too good about keeping up with my personal thank yous, you all take the time to review me, so I figure I should be taking the time to thank you all for that and I am sorry I have been slipping up in the area. It means a lot to hear that you actually like getting them though. You review every chapter and it jut means a lot to me because you don't have to but you do, and it is readers like you that make me write, so thank you and I hope that I continue to write chapters that make you want to review.

**And finally to… **_**othfan326**_, _**brucas224**_ and _**Christabella**_ thank you so much for taking the time to review, it means a ton and I really hope I can continue to keep you reading and leaving your thoughts.


	7. Things I Did Before

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Summary: **_They are both starting to let each other in, but Brooke's headed towards a downward spiral and Lucas isn't sure if he is the right person to help. The closer they get the worse things get, and they both start to wonder if they are really best for the other_

**Authors Note: **Not much to say to this chapter, other then don't jump to any conclusions because like I have said, I would never make anything in this story to obvious, and plus I love to lead you all in the wrong direction. With that said though, thank you so much to everyone who reviewed last chapter, you all are just super sweet. _**This is the first brand new fresh chapter, never released before, lol and I hope you all like it.**_ Don't forget to leave you're thoughts.

Oh. And also, I know I say this all the time, but the song has some hidden meaning again, it will probably not be clear, but definitely read the lyrics.

Here's chapter seven. _Enjoy._

**[[Thank you's are at the bottom.**

* * *

**When Your Dreams Died**

**Chapter Seven: Things I did Before**

_**If I told you things I did before  
told you how I used to be  
would you go along with someone like me  
if you knew my story word for word  
had all of my history  
would you go along with someone like me**_

It was just about nine in the morning when Lucas made his way in to the quiet apartment. The night before had been a long one and he was still somewhat uneasy about leaving Brooke alone after the night she'd had, but Casey got home and insisted she could take care of it, so he hesitatively left, promising to return in the morning, which he did, armed with Coffee and donuts. He set them down on the small kitchen table before making his way in to the living room where he was surprised to find Brooke's blond roommate sitting front of the coffee table packing.

"What's going on?" He questioned looking around at the boxes around him.

"Brooke didn't tell you?" Casey asked looking up from her things. "I am moving out today."

"Why?"

"I couldn't take anymore of her crap" Casey said in all seriousness before seeing the look on Lucas's face, and letting out a laugh she shock her head. "No, I have a place across the hall, we were just helping each other with rent until school was over, and well school has been over for six months so now that our lease is up I am out of here."

"Then who is coming in?" Lucas questioned watching Casey shifting slightly.

"No one" she shrugged, taking another picture frame and wrapping it protectively in tissue paper. "Brooke's spot in fashion week really took off as I am sure you heard and her promotion is giving her more then enough money to afford this crap hole. And well, my mom still sends me checks every month."

"Oh" Lucas nodded, still somewhat confused, but he decided not to press the issue any more. "Well do you any help?"

"I think I have it for now, but stick around. Dante is useless when it comes to heavy lifting."

Lucas laughed looking over her shoulder down at the picture frames on the floor. He picked one up and studied it. It was of three girls, Brooke and Casey and then a young child, around the age of four or five he guessed, and the small child let out a large dimpled smiled as the two women kissed each of her cheeks. "Who's this?" he asked smiling.

Casey looked at the picture, smiling slightly too before looking up at him "That would be Brynlee."

"And Brynlee is?" Lucas questioned as Casey shifted slightly again and stood up before Brooke's door opened, revealing a yawning, stretching Brooke.

"I am never drinking again" she complained as she made her way over to Casey.

"You say that every time" Casey laughed shaking her head.

"Well this time I mean it" she proclaimed plopping down on the large chair and then looked up to see Lucas. "Hey, what are you doing here so early?"

He looked up from the picture, set it back on the table and smiled towards Brooke.

"Coffee and donuts are in the kitchen."

"God, you are amazing" Brooke smiled wide as she hopped up and headed off to the kitchen returning with a large doughnut and a cup of coffee in her hands, making Casey roll her eyes.

"You are gross" Casey complained.

"And you don't have to live with me anymore so stop complaining."

"That is going to go straight to your ass."

"At least I have one" Brooke taunted, taking another large big of the donut and getting a discussed look from her blonde friend, before she plopped back on the couch.

"So what are your plans today?" Lucas asked her.

"She is helping me move" Casey answered.

"Hell no, I am not. I have other plans thank you" Brooke said through a mouthful of donut.

"Seriously, you are gross…" Casey complained again, causing Brooke to only smile before she shoved the rest in her mouth. She licked her fingers when she was done and took a large sip of coffee before leaning back in the large comfortable chair with a satisfied sigh.

"You're just jealous."

"Of you, the size three? Please!"

"Whatever, you are just mad because if you eat a grape you look like you are pregnant. Seriously, you would be nicer if you ate every once in awhile."

"I hate you" Casey said as she put another thing in her box and Brooke got off the chair.

"No you don't" She said walking over to her kissing her check playfully "You love me"

"Go shower. You smell!" Casey complained pushing her away with the same playfulness, causing Lucas to smile as he watched the two friends joke with each other.

"You know you love my fat smelly ass" Brooke smiled and she made her way to the bathroom. "You love it too Luke" She smiled before winking at both and disappeared in to the bathroom. Then she closed the door and the sound of running water filled the apartment.

_**I did before and had my share  
it didn't lead nowhere  
I would go along with someone like you  
it doesn't matter what you did  
who you were hanging with  
we could stick around and see this night through**_

_**usually when things has gone this far  
people tend to disappear  
**_

**Xxx**

It was just around five in the evening now as Lucas made his way in to the small coffee shop. The smell of the strong coffee hit his nose as he made his way over to the empty counter, taking a seat on the old wooden stool, before looking around. The place was empty, as it normally was, and the light sound of music from a small boom box filled the small Café.

"Lucas?" Edward asked when he walked out from the back and saw the blonde sitting at his counter.

"Hi Edward" Lucas said with a smile.

"I wasn't expecting to see you today."

"Why not?" Lucas somewhat laughed. He'd stopped by the coffee shop every morning since his and Brooke's last meeting there. There was just something about the atmosphere of the place that got him, it made him feel back at home.

"Oh, well I just figured you would go back to Long Island with Brooke."

"Why would I do that?" he questioned. Now he was confused, he hadn't even known Brooke had gone out to Long Island.

"Oh, well she goes out to her grandmothers every Friday and stays the weekend, I though you knew that."

"Oh, well she's never said anything about that. I mean, I have always wondered where she went but never really felt it was my place to ask…"

Edward set a cup of coffee in front of him before starting to dry off some other mugs, and he gave Lucas a somewhat confused look. He probably decided not to push on the issue anymore, because he remained silent.

"Is there a reason I should be in Long Island?" Lucas finally decided to ask

"No, I guess not. I guess I just figured that with the amount of time the two of you had been spending…"

"Please don't tell me you think we are more then friends too."

"I know you are, but if you two say you are just friends then I guess I will go with that" Edward laughed.

Lucas shook his head, letting out a small smile "She is great, but we've tried before and it never does work."

"Well, you two are two different people now."

"You're telling me…" Lucas sighed leaning back in his chair slightly.

"Something bothering you?" Edward questioned with an eyebrow raise.

"No, not really, just… I worry about her."

"Love makes you worry."

"I just want to help her, but she won't let me."

"Sometimes you have to let someone help themselves first, but Brooke is strong, whatever it is she will get through it. One thing I have come to learn about her is that everything she does is for a reason, and though you don't always understand it, or necessarily agree with it, she does what she does, and she normally does it for the best."

"I guess," Lucas shrugged and looked around the small coffee shop as a comfortable silence fell upon the two. Lucas leant back in his chair again, taking in the small details of the place. The walls where a light faded yellow and the dark wood of the tables contrasted nicely, but what caught his eye were all the pictures on the wall to his left. He guessed he'd just never noticed it before but now he got off is seat and made his way to it, smiling as he looked at all of them.

They were all mostly of Edward, Casey and Brooke, there was a few with random people he didn't know, and there was even a few of Brooke, Casey and Dante, but the one in the middle caught his eye the most. It was of a young Brooke, he guessed it was taken maybe a year or two back, her hair was pulled in to a messy bun and there was flour covering her. She stood next to Edward, who was also covered in flour, and then in the middle of the two sat a small girl on the counter. She couldn't have been more then two years old, Lucas guessed, and she was also covered in flour. But what really caught his eye was that it was the same little girl from the picture Casey had that morning.

"Hey Edward…" he asked.

"Yes?"

"Who is this little girl?" he questioned as the large man made his way over to Lucas, squinting his eyes as he studied the picture with a large smile on his face.

"That crazy little one would be Brynlee."

"Who is she though, is it your granddaughter?"

Edward paused for a moment, studying Lucas for a minute before smiling again.

"That's what she calls me" he laughed. "She is a wild one though, I will tell you that."

Lucas smiled before taking another glance at the picture and then returning to his coffee.

"Well she is beautiful."

"That she is."

Edwards smile grow as Lucas said that, making him look proud.

"I didn't know you knew Casey and Dante though" Lucas said taking a sip of his coffee.

"How could I not? Those two and Brooke are practically inseparable."

"You've got that right" Lucas laughed.

"It's got to be good to know that she has them though, right?"

"It is, some days anyway…"

"Some days?"

Edward looked a little confused and Lucas shrugged. "Again, I am just a little—worried"

"Well she could be doing a lot worse in the friends department, those three might be a bit off but they love each other"

"That's all you need right?"

"That's what I like to think" Edward smiled. "Oh and Casey is my daughter" he laughed. "That is how I know Brooke. They shared a dorm in college, and then they bought the apartment. I swear, ever since the day Brooke moved here her and Casey have not left each others sides. They worked here for a little while and I swear they were more trouble then they were help, but I miss it sometimes…"

Lucas smiled "Yeah, Brooke worked at my mom's café, it was definitely… entertaining."

"Oh right, Karen?"

"Yep" Lucas smiled.

"I have heard a lot about her, Brooke would go on and on."

"Yeah, they were really close" Lucas smiled.

"I always wished Casey had a mother-like figure in her life, but my ex wife was never really anything of that. I ended up adopting Casey when she was sixteen" Edward laughed. "You think she's crazy now…"

Lucas laughed looking over to the picture wall "So she is your--"

"Step daughter, my ex wife was her mother, but she left when Casey was sixteen and ever since then it has been me and her against the world, and now we are lucky enough to have Brooke."

"Why didn't anyone say something sooner?" Lucas laughed

"Casey is still a bit embarrassed of me" Edward joked.

"So is Casey's mom totally out of the picture?"

"Pretty much" Edward shrugged "She sends Casey a check every once in a while, I always hated that, and so did Casey, but things got really hard when she started college and we really didn't have choice."

"So that isn't as strange as people always seem to think…"

"What do you mean?"

"My dad left my mom when she was pregnant with me and then when I got older he realized that I was just as good as his other son and suddenly wanted to be part of my life. But I wouldn't let him. Not until I was diagnosed with a heart condition and needed him to pay for the medication. I even had to move in with him…"

"Well isn't it just a small world" Edward smiled. "Are you and your father on better terms now?"

"He is in jail for killing his brother."

"Brooke told me something about that, I guess I just didn't put two and two together."

"It is coming up on five years now" Lucas said, looking down at his coffee.

"She told me that your uncle was more of a father for you. I am really sorry to hear you lost him."

"Me too, everyday…"

"Well from what I hear from Brooke, you have a pretty amazing mom, so that has to count for something." Edward smiled softly putting a few of the dry cups away.

"It does, and my little sister is amazing, I just still wish he was here sometimes…"

"As much as Casey hates her mother I think she feels the same way. I know it's a different situation, but I think when Mary left, it was like she died and I don't think Case has ever been able to fully recover from that."

Lucas was about to say something but then his phone started to ring. He looked to Edward and excused himself before taking the call, and when he turn back a moment later he took out his wallet.

"That was some guys from work… I am needed, I guess, but it was great talking to you. I see why Brooke loves you so much."

"I see why she loves you" Edward smiled as Lucas went to put down money on the counter. "No need, on the house."

"That's really not necessary."

"Just take care of my girls and you can have all the coffee you want."

"I think I can deal with that" Lucas smiled before putting his coat on. "Good night Edward."

"Night Lucas, take care."

_**no-one will surprise me unless you**_

_**i can tell there's something goin' on  
hours seems to disappear  
everyone is leaving i'm still with you**_

_**it doesn't matter what we do  
where we are going to  
we can stick around and see this**_

**So? As promised… a got a few more reviews then normal so I updated faster…. Hope you enjoyed.**

_**Also, just a side note, I know a few people have already asked, but if anyone wants to chat, about the story or just about anything in general, I do have a MSN account that I am on a lot, I have aim to but I am rarely on it, but if you want my account name feel free to ask in a review and I will pm it, or you can just pm me and I will give it to you then. I just wanted to put that out there because I love talking to you all, and am open to answer any question you all might have.**_

**Thank You's:**

A big thanks goes to my favorate girl Lynn (justlikebrooke) for all her encouraging words, and her help through out this story. You're my hero, lol. Love you girl.

**svblfb4life:** Thank you so much for the review, I really appreciate it. Brooke's drinking is caused by a lot of things, and one of the reasons I am having her have drinking problem is because as much as I love Brooke, I have always felt that though she helps people with their problems beautifully, she doesn't really know how to help her self, so drinking is my way of showing that, and I hope that you continue to read long enough to find out just way she is drinking. What you said about my version of Lucas made me smile, because I guess I had never realized it before, but when I write him I always refer to season's one and even two because that is the only time I ever really cared for Lucas, and I am really glad that I am giving you hope because personally, I have completely run out. I am thrilled to her you are enjoying the story so far and please continue to read and please continue to review, it means the world to me.

**Flipflopgal:** YAY. First time reviewer! Thank you so much for taking the time to review. I know I my self am guilty of liking a story, hell even loving a story but never taking the time to review it, regardless of how much I like it. So thank you so much for actually reviewing. It means a ton. I hope I didn't make you wait to long, and I hope you continue to read, enjoy and review.

**Awhero:** u sneaky, sneaky girl u! I have no idea what's going on! lol I kindda feel like how Lucas must be feeling! lol. You're too cute. Sorry but it is my job to keep you in the dark my dear. I am very happy to hear that you like the way I a going about their relationship, because even though it's only been six chapters I was afraid people may get a little frustrated that I haven't had any major romance scenes, so I happy to hear that you're happy with it. Hope this review came up fast enough, I did get more reviews then last time so I did want to try and get it up quicker then usually. But anyway, glad to hear one of my most faithful reviews is still enjoying enough to review. I hope I can continue to please you. Thank you as usual, your words are always greatly appreciated.

**Jeytonbrucasnaley:** I suck major for not reviewing on the past chapter! I've just been busy and plus has been being a douche and not letting me review. Honey, I have to tell you, I burst out laughing when I read your review, and my boyfriend was sitting next to me and looked at me like I was crazy but I swear to god you sound exactly like me, lol. Thank you so much for your reviews, as I have said before, it is always so amazing when writers you love review your work, and you are definitely a writer I love. So thank you so much and I really hope that I continue to give out work that is worth a writer like you reviewing.

**Whiters:** You know… my mother always told me this… "sharing is caring" and I don't like all the secrets you are keeping from me here. Lol you're making me go crazy wondering what you are thinking! Thank you so much for reviewing. You always do and they always always always put a smile on my face, you are a total sweetheart and I always get just a little more excited then normal when I see you've reviews. So thank you again so much, I hope that you continue to read and enjoy and also review.

**Seth-n-Summer4ever:** I really hope you are confused in a good way and not in the 'I am to confused to continue to read this story' kind of way, because of course my goal is to throw every one off a bit, but I don't want you wondering out in the woods either. I am glad to hear that you like the Brooke storyline because when I decided to take the Brooke not being this perfect famous fashion designer route, and more of the imperfect strangling route that people might get a little upset, so to hear that you are liking it makes me very happy. I have to say though, I kind of like Lindsey, they way I see it is that if Brooke can't have Lucas I sure as hell don't want Peyton to have him, but Lindsey isn't that mad, Brooke would just be much much better. But I do agree this season totally sucks. And thank you thank you thank you so so so much for the longggggg review, it does make me feel much much much better, and how I just repeated my self about twenty times. Lol. But thank you for reviewing in general, it means a lot and I hope I continue to please you enough so that you continue to.

**B. Davis:** thanks so much for your review hun. You are one of my most faithful reviews and I always smile when I see you've left a review. You are always so sweet and your words always make me want to write. I am glad that you are happy with the story so far and I hope I can continue to make you happy and I hope you continue to read and enough as well as review. Thank you again so much. You're thoughts mean a lot to me.

**TypoKween:** You are always so sweet in your reviews, really your reviews are what keeps me going, they are always so encouraging and I appreciate them so much. About what you said though… Sure you may have gone the cliché way with Brooke being into alcohol and Lucas being the one to save her … me, cliché? Whoever said Lucas was going to be the one to save her? It's Lucas, he is an idiot. Lol. Not to give anything away or anything, but don't be to sure about anything yet because the word cliché make me cringe, I am just a book of surprise… just you wait, lol. Again though your review was just so amazingly sweet and made me want to write that much more and made me forget about all my doubts on this story, so thank you so much for that, I would love to talk to you more… idk if you have msn or even aim, I don't really use aim much, but I am normally on msn if you ever want to talk, just pm me and I will give you my email for it. But anyway thank you soo much for your review, it really did push me to write and have real faith in this story and I am so thankful I have reviewers like you. You make the story what it is.

**othfan326:** You caught my mistake. Sorry about that, it's a bit embarrassing. I will try to be more careful next time. I am really glad to see you picked up on the Brooke mom thing though cause I lot of people didn't, and I will be going more in to it later on, but I am really happy to see ad least a few people already caught on to that. I am glad you are enjoying and I really hope I can continue to make you all happy.

And finally to _**Christabella**_, _**Brucas True Love**_ and _**brucas224 **_thank you so much for reviews, they meant a lot and I hope I can continue to please you all and that you all continue to read and review.


	8. Scattered Shadows

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Summary: **_They are both starting to let each other in, but Brooke's headed towards a downward spiral and Lucas isn't sure if he is the right person to help. The closer they get the worse things get, and they both start to wonder if they are really best for the other_

**Authors Note:** So I didn't die. I am so sorry about the long wait for this chapter, and I am even sorrier that after waiting a month all you get is a filler chapter. Because that is what this chapter is, it is a filler, totally and completely, but I think it is needed. I was never originally even going to have this chapter and that is why it took so long, among other things. But any who, I am not nuts about this, but it gives you all a look in to the past four years, it is a small look, but a look none the less. So I hope you all enjoy. Be sure to leave you're thoughts.

* * *

**When Your Dreams Died**

**Chapter Eight:** Scattered Shadows

_Scattered shadows on a wall, you watch the long light fall  
Some impressions stay and some will fade  
Tattered shoes outside your door, clothes all on the floor  
Your life feels like the morning after all year long._

"Lucas" Nathan called in to the empty restaurant. It was a little after 10 at night and all the workers had gone home hours before, but the light in Lucas's small office was still on as Nathan figured it would be.

"Back here" Lucas called as he continued to shift through the stack of papers in front of him

"Hey bro" Nathan said with a hand shake before sitting down in the chair in from of Lucas desk, looking around the small room for a minute. It was very plan, simple off whit walls, with an old, large wooden desk covered in papers, boxes filling the corners. There were only a few pictures, one of Lily and Karen and then one of everyone on graduation day, but other then that the office was void of anything personal. The only thing hanging on the wall was an over filled bulletin board and a calendar. "You need to get Brooke down her, because if this is how you are going to decorate, then you are screwed"

Lucas looked up at the mention of Brooke's name but then rolled his eyes "I already have a decorator thank you"

"Lets hope" Nathan said getting more comfortable in his chair

"What are you doing here so late? Is everything okay with Hales?"

"Yeah everything is great; I just haven't really got a chance to talk to you since the season started"

"What? Miss your big brother?" Lucas teased with a friendly smile

"Something like that…" Nathan laughed before a silence fall upon the two for a moment; Nathan shifted again "So how are things with this restaurant…"

"Good" Lucas laughed setting the paper in his hand down "Crazy, but good"

"What made you do it?" Nathan asked after a moment

"Excuse me?" Lucas asked looking up from the paper he was reading with a confused looked

"Open a restaurant… in New York of all places…" Nathan said looking around with a shrug

"Well, I guess my first book did pretty well so I had the money and nothing to really do with it…"

"So why not write another book?"

"I just I just couldn't… it was like I had all this stuff I could write about, but I would sit down to write it and I would get nothing. So I was talking to my mom one day and she said that the restaurant business can be a decent investment if I go about it the right way and do it in the right place… I just don't think she was really thinking for me to build my own, but I just figured I might as well…"

Nathan shrugged "Well I bet it will be great… It is just crazy, you have a book publish and this up and coming restaurant… Hales is working as a record producer now, and I am in the freaking NBA, it is insane"

"I hear you" Lucas laughed sitting back "If you would have told me two four years ago, I would be sitting gin the middle of New York City, opening a restaurant with money I got from a book that I wrote, I would laugh at you"

Nathan let out a small smile "Yeah, four years ago you would have said in four years you would won't care where you were as long as you were with Peyton" Nathan said with an eye roll

Lucas sighed at the name "I haven't talked to her in a long time"

"What happened to her, it is like she fell off the face of the planet"

"I don't know, last I hear she was working for some record label in LA as an assistant or an intern or something" Lucas shrugged, leaning back in his chair

"I have to say" Nathan started, shifting in his seat slightly "I am surprised you didn't decide to do all this in LA"

"Why do you say that?" He asked sitting up slightly

"Because LA is just as big as NYC… and Peyton is there."

"This isn't about Peyton…" Lucas cut in quickly

"Clearly, you are still three thousand miles away from her… but someone you are a lot closer to, if I remember correctly, is the same person that had you completely depressed and just all around pissed off for the better part of the summer before we all started college"

"This isn't about Brooke either" he sighed as she started to shuffle through his papers again

"Really? Because your mom seemed to have two perfectly successful restaurants in Tree Hill…" Nathan leaned forward slightly

"New York is where I found the best opportunity" Lucas shrugged not looking up from his papers

"I know that much, but opportunity for what Lucas? I am not saying there is anything wrong with it, honestly I always liked you and Brooke more then you and Peyton, but don't you think going after her again is living in the past…"

"Yes… which is why I am not here for Brooke, alright…? I am here for me, yes Brooke lives here, but New York is a huge city…"

"I know that, that is why I think it is funny that your restaurant is just about 6 blocks away from her apartment building"

"Listen Nathan… me and Brooke are over, we have been over for the better part of the last five years, I moved here to start a business not a relationship, and even if I did want a relationship, Brooke isn't the same girl anymore, she has changed-"

"Changed how?" Nathan cut in with a confused expression

"Does it really matter?" Lucas sighed

"No, I guess I just don't really get what you mean. Last time I talked to her she seemed like same old Brooke to me" he shrugged leaning back again

Lucas sighed again, shrugging after a moment as he tried to get more conformable in his seat "I guess that's it… she is like old Brooke…"

"You lost me again"

"She just seems to have her walls up again, and she has been drinking a lot and…"

"Hate to say this, but it is New York, and she is in the fashion business, all those people do is go out and drink"

"But it isn't only when she out that she drinks… maybe I am just being paranoid, but it seems the more time I spend with her, the more I am noticing just how much she drinks… she is distant to, it's like she is hiding something" Lucas sighed yet again, finally putting the papers in his hands down rest back in his large black leather chair

"It's been four years" Nathan shrugged with a small sigh "You can't really have expected thing to be just as you left them"

**Xxx**

Nathan and Haley's apartment was nice, much nicer then what Brooke was expecting anyway. Not anything against the two but Brooke knew first hand how expensive living in the city, so the beautiful and elegant three bedroom two bath Nathan and Haley called home was saying a lot for Nathan's Knick's starting salary.

"I know you like it strong" Haley said setting a plain black mug down in front of Brooke

Brooke brought the mug up to her mouth, letting the steam fill her nostrils as she took a sip of the hot liquid, letting out a relaxed breath as is trickled down her throat

"It's perfect" Brooke said with a small smile setting the mug down on the dark wooden table in front of her

Haley took a set next to her setting her own mug down as she let a comfortable silence fall upon the two, it was late now and Jamie had been asleep for a while. Everything in the house was quite, the only light that was on was the one right above them and for the first time in a while things felt completely relax

"Brooke" Haley started, waiting as Brooke looked down at her mug; outline the rim of it with her finger

"Yeah?" She looked up, her finger still moving slowly over the top

"Why did you leave so suddenly?"

"What do you mean?" Brooke asked with a cocked eyebrow

"Tree Hill… four years ago, you left so suddenly"

"Not really" Brooke said softly with a small shrug "I told everyone weeks before that I was leaving when I did"

"But you didn't even say good bye Brooke… it was like we all woke up and you were gone"

"Haley why are you bring this up now?"

"I don't know" Haley shrugged, moving slightly in her seat "I guess we just have never really talked about anything other then were we are all now… and I just have always wonder why you were in such a rush to get here"

"I wasn't in a rush Hales" Brooke laughed slightly "I had an early flight"

Haley turned her head to the side slightly, shaking it softly "Lucas told me what happened"

"What do you mean?"

"Lucas told me you guys slept together the night before"

"Haley I can…." Brooke started before Haley cut in

"You don't need to explain anything to me Brooke, but I have to tell you, after what Lucas and Peyton did to you, I can't believe that…"

"Hold on just a minute" Brooke cut in this time, holding a hand up "Lucas and Peyton were broken up and she was already gone AND it was a one night thing, nothing more… it was spur of the moment…. It wasn't some on going affair behind Peyton's back…"

"Was it just a one night thing to Lucas too?"

"I don't know why it wouldn't be…"

"Brooke, he was devastated when you left"

"But why?" Brooke exclaimed "Why, we slept together once, it was one night, and it just happened, it wasn't like it was the first time we had ever had sex, we weren't together and he was still in love with Peyton so if he was devastated it was over Peyton not me, I was just a meaningless night to try and get his mind off of her"

"That is why he spent his whole summer huddled over a box of letter from you?" Haley said with a raised eyebrow

"That is why he purposed to Peyton two years ago" Brooke fought back angrily

"What?"

"What? Lucas didn't tell you? He went to California and purpose to Peyton"

"Brooke how do you…"

"Peyton told me" Brooke cut in

"You and Peyton still talk?"

"Not so much anymore…"

"Why not?"

"I don't really want to talk about it" Brooke said with a deep sigh, taking a long sip of coffee

"Brooke…"

"Please just let it go" Brooke sighed leaning back in her chair looking down at the edge of the table

"_You promised you were done Peyton" Brooke sighed in to the phone "I get you are stressed but that doesn't mean you should be stupid" her face fell as she listen to her friend sob on in to the other end of the phone "Peyton, I'm three thousand miles away, I can't come bail you out whenever this happens, it's got to stop." She took a deep breath while she continued to listen before finally cutting in "Peyton listen. Either all this crap stops or our friendship does. This has been going on for way to long, and you need to realize that it isn't worth it. So you chose…"_

"Brooke?" Haley questioned after a minute or two

"Let's just change the subject please"

**Xxx**

"Lucas thinks Brooke has a drinking problem" Nathan said as he moved in to the large bed her shared with his wife

"I think she is hiding something" Haley sighed as she did the same

"Like a drinking problem?" Nathan asked with a raised eyebrow, turning just his head to look at his wife

"I don't know, maybe, or maybe something more… did you know that Lucas purposed to Peyton two years ago

"No" Nathan said turning to look at Haley "Who told you that?"

"Brooke"

"How does Brooke know?"

"Peyton told her"

"They still talk?"

"I guess not anymore…. That is what had me worried"

"Why? Peyton doesn't talk to anyone anymore" Nathan said turning back to lay on his back

"No, not really that they don't take, but Brooke just got really… I don't even really know, it was just, I asked why they don't talk anymore and it was like bam her walls were up, and she was in another world"

"Lucas mentioned something about her being distant"

"I just don't get what her deal is" Haley sighed "I just want her to talk to me"

"Hales, it's been four years, and you two have hardly spoken, you can't think that the minute you move close to her she is going to welcome you with open arms and spill her guts, it is Brooke we are talking about here, she has ever been one to be open"

"I know, but I just thought that maybe…"

"Don't stress over this Haley, she will come to when she is ready. I know that you all are worried about her, but it is Brooke we are talking about here, she is tough…"

"I know… but I am still worried"

"She will be fine" Nathan sighed

"I hope you are right" Haley said, biting at her bottom lip for a moment before moving to turn off the lap on her night table before sinking in to the bed a little more "I hope you are right."

* * *

**_So? Please leave your thoughts. I have a feeling you all are going to want the next chapter. Things are definitely going to start picking up, I can promise you that much. Thanks to everyone that reviewed last chapter, I will do personal thank you next chapter I promise._**


	9. Bright Stars Fading

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Summary: **_They are both starting to let each other in, but Brooke's headed towards a downward spiral and Lucas isn't sure if he is the right person to help. The closer they get the worse things get, and they both start to wonder if they are really best for the other_

**Authors Note:** **SORRY TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE I UPDATED AGAIN, BUT I WAS READING AND THERE WAS SO MANY ERRORS THAT I JUST COULDN'T LEAVE IT, I AM NOT SURE IF I GOT THEM ALL BUT I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM.**

Hola all! So A HUGE thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I was amazed, especially because I didn't think that chapter was all that great, so thank you all so much! Any who, things are definitely starting to pick up now and I am actually fairly pleased with the way this chapter turned out. Nothing to huge is revealed, but a lot happens. So I will keep it short and just send you off to read with a simple wish that you all enjoy and leave your thoughts.

Also, I was kind of in a time crunch so the editing might not be up to par, please forgive me, I promise I will try to not let it happen again.

_Oh, and just a side note, my MSN accout is under hillbil134 at yahoo (it's written like a normal email address but doesn't let me write it like that)__. I know a few people asked and I haven't gotten back to you, so sorry, but that is that, so feel free to IM me whenever (although, if I don't answer, I am not ignore you, I am just probably not there). It's not an email account I ever use though, so if you email me, chances are I won't get it._

**Thank You's are at the bottom.**

**ENJOY…**

* * *

**When Your Dreams Died**

**Chapter Nine:** Bright Stars Fading

_**Patience  
Took you for everything  
Looked like a diamond ring  
You are so much longer  
That made sense  
Apathy in disguise  
Crept on you like a spy  
Hurt you in ways  
You can't describe **_

The apartment building was quiet at this time, it was late and the hall ways were empty, dimly lit and quiet. Lucas made his way down the one on the tenth floor. It was Sunday night and Lucas figured Brooke had to be home by now so he figured he would drop in and see how she was but as he made his way to her door, he didn't hear anything coming form her apartment like he normally did. Even if it was just her she normally always had music blasting or the TV blaring or something, but there was nothing and as he knocked there was no answer, and when he went to open her door it was surprisingly locked, confused he stepped back, rubbing his head slightly before turning to the door behind him, smiling when he heard the loud noises of music and laugher coming from it and as he made his way down the hall he smiled, knocking he waiting for a moment before the door was opened by a girl he'd never seen before, well in person that was. She was the little girl from the pictures, and suddenly Lucas was confused.

"Hi- um" Lucas started before he heard Casey call out to the little girl as she made her way to the door

"Brynlee what did we tell you about opening the door with out asking who it was?" Casey said making her way to the little girl, looking down to her with her hands on her hips

"I was about to ask him but you came in to fast" the small blonde child smile innocently

Casey sighed, rolling her eyes slightly before letting a small smile cross her face

"Who is it?" Brynlee questioned quietly to Luke, before looking to Casey for approval

Lucas laughed smiling down to the little girl before answering her "I am Lucas"

"Hello Lucas, I am Brynlee"

"Well it is very nice to meet you" Lucas smiled shaking the small girl's hand

"Hey! Where did my dance partner go?" Brooke called coming in to the entry way as well quite out of breath

"I'm right here" Brynlee smiled "This is Lucas"

Brooke stopped for a minute, trying to get her breathing back to normal as she looked to Lucas, then Casey then to the little girl then back to Casey and then finally back to Lucas "Hey" she smiled slightly

"I tried calling you"

"Yeah sorry I got caught up"

"I can tell" Lucas laughed slightly looking at all three of the girls, all some what flushed, in crazy outfits with messed up hair, as the Spicegirls continued to blare through the apartment

"We were having a dance party" Brynlee informed him matter of factly

"Oh really?"

"Yes, and it is very fun. Would you like to dance with us" Brynlee smiled

"Bryn it is late, I am sure he needs to go" Brooke explained

"And you need to get to bed" Casey said picking the small child up and tickling her

"No!" She swilled through her laughter

"Yes" Casey laughed with her as she put her down "Are you staying here or going down the hall"

"Um" The little girl placing her small index figure to her lip pondering the option for a moment "Here"

"You sure?" Brooke asked

"Um… yeah" Brynlee said still thinking about it slightly before giving the girls one final headshake before she ran off in to the living room again

"I better go" Brooke sighed slightly to Casey, I have to go in early tomorrow and turn in the final produce for the show, but I will be here at 3 to take her off your hands"

"Ok, well good luck tomorrow morning you will do great" Casey smiled giving her friend a hug before Brooke made her way in to the living room to say good by to the little girl who was currently shouting the lyrics to "Wannabe" at the top of her small little lungs

"Brynlee is cute" Lucas smiled

"I know right" Casey laughed "She's a handful though"

"Why haven't I meant her before?" Lucas asked before he was interrupted by Brook returning to the room

"Hey do you want to head over to my place, I will put on a pot of coffee or something"

"Are you sure, I know you have a big day tomorrow"

"Exactly, so I already won't be able to sleep so you might as well keep me company"

"Well if you are sure then coffee sounds great" Lucas smiled

"Great" Brooke said matching his smile "Let's go." The two of them made there way down the hall in to Brooke's small kitchen. Lucas sat down at the small table as Brooke started the coffee before making her way over to him

"So how was Long Island?" Lucas asked

"It was good, really cooled, it actually snowed"

"That is a bummer"

"Yea kind of, but I love the first snow fall, it is so white and pure, it's fun, I always feel like I am a little kid again"

"Why didn't you tell me you were going?" Lucas blurted out

"Um" Brooke paused for a moment getting up and pouring the coffee for them both "I don't know I guess it just wasn't a big deal, I go out there all the time to see my grandma and I figured you would be busy with the restaurant" she said handing him his coffee "Sorry"

"Don't be, I jut didn't know if you were mad at me or something"

"Why would I be mad at you?" She asked furrowing her eyebrows

"I don't know, I just, I mean I stopped by here and you weren't here, I called your office and they said you were gone I checked that bar you went to last time, and Eddy's and then a few other bars and I couldn't find you and I just got worried?"

"You were looking for me in bars?"

"Well I didn't know where else to look for you?"

"Right because me being the major alcoholic I am would head straight for the bar"

"Brooke that isn't what I was saying"

"Oh really because ever since that night you had to come get me you have been acting like I have this major problem"

"I am just worried, that is all"

"Why? What is there to be worried about, I am a big girl I know what I am doing"

"Look, I didn't mean anything by it, and I didn't mean to make you mad, I was just-"

"Leaving? Listen, I am tired, I have a big day tomorrow I should get to bed" Brooke sighed, getting up from the table taking her coffee with her before she started off for her bedroom "Turn the lights off on your way out please"

Lucas sighed as he watched her walk away. Man did he know when to put his foot in his mouth.

_**Back to the start now  
I won't let you go this way now**_

_**Xxx**_

The morning was off to a crazy start. The workers were all late and then right as things were picking up one of there major machines broke delaying work for a good four hours before the machine could be replace putting Lucas in an even tighter time crunch then he was already in. The restaurant was scheduled to be opened in a little less then a month and his inspector was coming by the next day and Lucas was running way behind scheduled.

Brooke's morning hadn't gone much better. After going over her line with Caroline she was told that her designs were too safe and were just simply not going to cut it, and not only that but if their wasn't a major improvements with in the next week she would be pulled from the next large show. Carolina told her fashion week was only given to her because they had no one else and while she'd impressed them then the designs in front of her were boring her to death and a major improvement was needed.

It was just pasted nine when Lucas walked in to Eddy's surprised to actually see a few people scatted through out the small café. He took off his gloves and jacket setting them on the counter before Edward came out "Lucas, how is it going, you are here awful late" The old man smiled before pulling out a mug and filling it with coffee

"I am really starting to wonder why I got in to the restaurant business"

"I wonder my self every day" Edward laughed

"Grandpa Eddy I can't tie my thingy" Lucas was surprised when the small blonde from earlier come out of the back, practically tripping over the large apron that she was trying to put on

Edward laughed before he picked her up smiling softly "Her let me do it sweetie" he said before folding it up so she wont trip before he tired it up "There you go you are all set to be my waitress"

"I am a good waitress" She smiled "Hey I know you" she smiled to Lucas "You came over last night"

"I did" he smiled

"We are having a dance party" Brynlee explained to Edward who let out a soft laugh laughed

"You were, and how did that go, did Lucas join?"

"No," she answer shaking her head, her curly blond hair was pulled back in to a high pony tail and swung slightly as she shook her head

"Well isn't he just boring" Edward said with a smile looking to Lucas who just laughed

"I know!" Brynlee agreed "Okay I have duty's I need down now please"

Edward and Lucas laughed again before Edward lifted the small girl off the counter and set her down before she bounced off back in to the back

"She is adorable"

"Love of my life" Edward said with a laugh

"She is here kind of late"

"She is spending the night with me"

"If you don't mind me asking… who is she, I mean I know she is your granddaughter, but she is Casey's right. Well I guess she has to be, but why doesn't she live with her?"

"Well it is kind of a long story and I am not-"Edward cut off by a loud crashing noise followed by a soft "uht- oh" causing both men to laugh yet again "I should go check that out I will be right back"

"Well I actually was going to head out, I need to be getting home anyway, it's late"

"Well then I will be seeing you… have a good night" Edward said with a warm smile

"You too… good luck" Lucas said gesturing to the back room causing Edward to laugh

"Thanks" Edward chuckled before offering one last good bye as Lucas made his way out the door

_**Honesty  
Is what you need  
It sets you free  
Like someone to save you  
Let it go  
But hurry now  
There's undertow  
And I don't want to lose you now**_

_**Xxx**_

_**All right  
Sit down and spill your heart  
Let's start from the very start  
'Cause I can see by your eyes  
You're wasted  
Your energy comes and goes  
You taking your time, you know  
Nothing can change what's happened**_

"Knock, Knock, hello hello'" Dante sang as he glided through the door of the small apartment. It was just after 9 at night and the apparent was almost dead silent, the only light that was on was the one above the small kitchen table leaving the rest of the apartment in almost complete darkness

"Hey" She said softly from her spot at the kitchen table, she had a mug next to her and sketches in front of her, her hair was pulled up in to a messy bun and she wore a simple black tee shirt paired with a pair of sweat pants

"What are you doing?" he asked making his way over to her

"Working on my collection, I only have a month and she wants me to change everything" Brooke sighed lifting the mug up and taking a large sip of liquid inside

"Queen of the old hags needs to be kicked in her fat saggy ass because these are good…"

"Yeah well they are too safe" Brooke sighed as he sat next to her

"To safe my ass… do you know the boobs it would take to fill that out" he explained before grabbing another design "Or the ass you would need for this one? You can tell her to take her 'safe' comments and shove them up her ass…. She is just jealous that she could never pull any of these off"

Broke sighed and leaned back in her chair taking another sip from her mug leting out a deep breath that burned through her throat "Thanks but that doesn't change the fact that she is still my boss and to her my designs still suck"

Dante sighed slightly from above her, his hands rested on either side of her chair as he inspected the sketches in front of her before looking down to her, then to the mug in her hand, reaching down, he took it out of her hands before taking a whiff of it, pulling it away quickly "What so getting drunk is going to help you how?"

"Don't start" Brooke groaned sitting up and taking the mug from him

"I know you did not just groan at me child… did you forget who I am?" Dante said placing a hand over his chest dramatically while Brooke only rolled her eyes

"You are a middle aged black gay man that is still working as the assistant to the assistant of a designer that pretty much no one knows about, so no, I have not forgotten who you are"

"Oh, so little miss thing as jokes… okay, fine, but if I remember correctly, Casey's room is empty for a reason, and that right there…" Dante paused pointing to the mug "Isn't going to help what is to come, so you need to pull your self together and you better do it quick because if you think life sucks now you haven't seen again…" Dante said matter of factly "And also princess… I am not middle aged… and if you ever go all diva on me again I will be force to in flicked bodily pain, so don't push me princess"

"Eye eye captain" Brooke said sarcastically as she got up from her seat making her way in to the kitchen to refresh her drink

"Whatever Brooke…" Dante said, getting ready to speak again before Brooke held her hand up cutting him off

"Dante, I am a big girl… I know what I am doing, thank you for thinking you are helping but you are only making it worse, all of you are just making it worse, so please… just put it on ice for like an hour alright"

"You know, for a smart girl you really are being stupid, look around you Brooke, you are not an eighteen year old kid anymore, you have a life and huge responsibilities now. The sooner you start dealing with that the better off you will be. This whole drowning your problems in a bottle of the strongest alcohol thing won't help you forever. You've been doing it as long as I have known you, and it is about time you got your act together and stopped" Dante said standing up from his chair getting ready to leave

"You have no right, before you go telling me to get my act together way don't you try to get yours together because while you are getting coffee for the important people, I _**am**_ the important people, so the next time you want to talk to me think about that before you talk."

"Have it your way doll face, but you are headed in a downward spiral and if you aren't careful no one will be there to catch you… just remember that" and with that he put his scarf on and was out the door leaving her to sit in the quiet apartment alone.

Looking down at the glass below her she frown, she didn't know when things got this bad. Here she was, sitting alone in her apartment, drinking. It made her sick to think that this was her life now. Partly because she didn't know how it got this bad, and partly because she could see her reflection off the liquid and realized she was starting to not recognize the person looking back at her. She was starting to wonder why she turned out like this. Where had she gone wrong? She looked up and around the small apartment and tears burned her eyes as she looked down to the mug again. She'd been nursing the glass since she got home, four hours ago, so standing up straight was a bit out of the question right now. After taking a moment to compose her self she took the mug and made her way to the kitchen to pour it out but as she reached the sink, it was as if her body wouldn't physically let her pour it out, which only made things worse.

It was as though she was so dependent of the liquid in the glass that she was almost afraid to pour it out. Her mind was sent to battle over what to do, part of her wanting nothing more then to just dump it go to bed and the other part of her wanting nothing more then to filling it up the rest of the way and make her way in to her room and fall asleep with it close by. She started to wonder now, if this is what it was like for her parents, and then she though about how much she hated her mother for her constant drinking. There was hardly a day that went by where Brooke had seen her mother completely sober and as Brooke thought back on it, there wasn't a day in a long time where she could remember going with out what was in her mug. And then it hit her…

She was becoming someone she swore she would never be. That thought was enough to send her over the edge, it was enough to send the welled up tears to spill out and the buried scream to surface as she turned and through the mug, causing a loud boom through the small apartment before it shatter spilling its contence everywhere as the tears ran down her face. She was finding it hard to breath as she froze for a moment, sobs escaping her as she slowly slid down to the floor, her back being supported by the cabinets as her body shook, tears pouring from her eyes, shards of the mug now shattered everywhere, the alcohol mixing with them as it seemed to slowing flow to her.

Where had she gone wrong? How had this happened? When had things changed this much? It was as though she didn't even know who she was anymore, and sadly for her, that was only the beginning of her problems.

_**Oh my  
Look at your bright stars fading so  
How much can you take? **_

So? Leave you're thoughts.

* * *

**Thank You's:**

**Bella:** Thank you so much for you're review and actually putting in you're thoughts. I love reading what you all think will happen… you will find out if you are right soon enough. As for you're question on Nathan, yes he does know about Brooke and Lucas, while Brooke left after, Lucas was still with everyone all summer, and so he did tell them. Thank you again so much for you're review, I hope that you continue to read, review and enjoy!

**othfan326:** Don't jump too soon. Things aren't always what they seem, lol. But thank you so much for leaving your thoughts, you are one of my frequent reviewers and it means a lot to have someone that is so faithful to the story. I really hope that I can continue to please you. Thank you again for all of your reviews.

**shotswithMrsKim:** First, thank you for pointing out my typo, I truly appreciate it. You can't improve if you don't know what is wrong, so thank you for that. Also, thank you, of course, for your review. I'm glad that you like the direction I am taking with the characters. I hope that you continue to read and enjoy.

**Seth-n-Summer4ever:** You're too cute. You sound like you have it all figured out though… the question now is, do you? Hum, idk, I guess we will just have to see won't we? Lol. Thank you so much for all you're reviews. They are always so sweet and always put a smile on my face… you said you were totally excited… I was when I saw I got a review from you. I hope I can continue to make you happy. Thank you again so much.

**TypoKween:** It's funny you mentioned that you think Lucas will save her… I mean I guess you are just going to have to keep reading to find out how everything goes down… but has so far do I seem to be someone how does what you think I am going to do? I think you might actually find that Lucas is going to do more harm then good… but that is ALL I will say. I am glad to hear that I am keeping you on your toes. I hope you are enjoying and I hope you continue to review, and I hope we can talk on msn again soon!

**Whiters:** You eased all my worries with your review. I was worried that people would be upset there was no brucas, but I did want to set up some stuff with that. I figure, it's been four years and clearly some stuff has happened and I would be just as bad as the show if I didn't give you guys something, and trust me, there will be a lot more stuff from the past coming up, so I am very happy to hear that you liked this chapter. Thank you so much for being such a regular reviewer, it means so much t me and I appreciate it soooo sooo soo much!

**Awhero:** I am glad to see that you liked that I put some Nathan/Haley in there, because I was a bit skeptical at first, I think it is really hard to write Naley because they do have kind of a complex relationship and I think that if you don't do it right then it just seems stupid, so I am glad to hear that you think I did decent. I like adding in different aspect other then just Brooke and Lucas, but at the end of the day it is a Brucas story and I don't want to stray from that. But now I am babbling, so on with my thanking you…LOL, it made me laugh when you were talking about Brooke's "kid" because the whole time I was like I don't recall saying if Brynlee was Brooke's or not, or if she was anyone's better yet, and then you took the words right out of my mouth. Lol. But assume away… it can't hurt anything, and plus I like surprising people. Lol. Thank you soo much for reviews so regularly. It means a ton to me.

**Yaba:** I am really glad that you liked this chapter and didn't think it was a filler. It was meant to give you all a glimpse in to the past but not give to much away so I am glad that that' is what you got from it. I hope that you continue to read and enjoy and thank you so so much for reviewing!

**Evergloweyes:** NEW READER! YAY! LOL, sorry, I get rather excited when I hear that. But I am really glad that you found it and seem to be intrigued. And also, I am really happy you brought up the letter, because no one has said anything about it yet. I am planning to have it brought in and I am planning to go in the past more, a little bit in each chapter. Consider it to be like an onion… we will just continue to pull at the layers. Thank you though so much for leaving you're thoughts, it means a lot and it keeps me writing. I hope I can continue to keep you interested and that I can keep you reviewing!

**pepe132:** Thank you so much for you kind words. People like you make me smile and make me want to write the best that I can. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a review and I hope that I can continue to please you!

**Shadybaby27:** I am glad you found it too! And I am even more glad that you found it and liked it and then reviewed! Thank you so much for taking the time to do so, I really do appreciate it! And I hope that you continue to read and enjoy!

**Iluvmedou:** I like you're theory about where Brooke is going, it is different and I like different. I can't tell you if you are right of course, but I think the way you think… lol. And about this Brucas confrontation you are asking for, I just have to tell you you just might get it, lol. Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews, I love them all, you are always so sweet and never cease to put a smile on my face.

**Jeytonbrucasnaley:** That is just the way things have to be done sometimes, lol. I gotta keep you all on you're toes. Thank you for the review, well I should say reviews, because I was lazy and didn't do them last time. But thank you for all you're reviews they are always so great and I appreciate every one of them!

And of course thank you to **Flipflopgal**, **dolcegrazia**, **wtlozy **and **Brucas True Love**, for your reviews at well. They mean so much to me and I appreciate that you all take the time to write them!


	10. If For Only

Disclaimer: I own nothing

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Summary: **_They are both starting to let each other in, but Brooke's headed towards a downward spiral and Lucas isn't sure if he is the right person to help. The closer they get the worse things get, and they both start to wonder if they are really best for the other_

**Authors Note:** hello darlings. So sorry it's been so long, I have had this chapter done for a really long time, but I wanted to get ahead a few chapters before I posted, which even after all these weeks I have only managed to write eleven, so I am sorry about all my long waits but hopefully something will inspire me here soon. I hope you all enjoy this next chapter, I person like it a lot and I hope you all do. Remember to leave your thoughts, they mean the word to me.

**Also a BIG HUGE thanks to Lynn for Betaing this chapter! Love you tons hun.**

* * *

**When Your Dreams Died**

**Chapter Nine: If For Only**

_If you could consume her  
Would you say you were finding your way out?  
Is anything coming clearer  
Smashing your mirror?  
Still you can see you're guilty  
_

It was just after seven now. The sun was just peeking through the small window in the kitchen of Brooke's small apartment as she sat at her chair at the kitchen table, her head in her hands. She hadn't slept all night and there were dark circles under her eyes to prove that. She was dressed in old baggy sweat pants and an over-sized tee shirt. Her hair pulled into a high, messy pony tail and her face rid of make up.

The night before was a tough one for her and when she thought back on it, most of her nights lately had been touch ones, but last night she did something she vowed to never do.

She broke down. She let words get to her and take down her walls causing her to fall hard. So after cleaning up the broken glass of the mug that she threw against the wall, she grabbed another cup from the carbonate and re filled it. She finishing the cup as she always did and refilled it again, letting that go on until the bottle was empty. Once that happened she fell into the comfortable numbness that she'd become accustomed too. Her world went fuzzy and she liked it. If only for a few hours, her drunken state had once again taken her away from everything. If only for a few hours nothing mattered, it was just her and her high and when it wore off the only thing she could think to do was make it come back again.

So here she was, seven o'clock in the morning, sitting at the breakfast table, the decision of getting up and grabbing the banana off the counter or the bottle in the freezer plagued her mind. That was until her door swung open and a more then frazzled Haley came bursting through, Jamie in tow.

"Oh thank god you are home" Haley breathed out setting down her arm full of stuff on Brookes table. "Listen, I know it is early and you probably have to work and I should have called but I got this call today about going in to this label that wants me to produce some stuff and I would normally pass it up but I have an amazing feeling about this, and again I know you are busy but…" Haley said all without taking a breath before Brooke cut her off.

"Haley…"

"Yeah?"

"Breathe."

Haley looked at her for a moment before letting out a breath, then looking to her son before she looked back to Brooke

"I can take him for the day; I was planning to take the day off anyway"

"Seriously!" Haley exclaimed causing Brooke to laugh.

"Yes, now go have fun being a rock star, Jamie and I will be fine, right Jay?" Brooke said looking down to Jamie

"Yep," Jamie smiled widely

"You are sure?" Haley asked cautiously

"Yep, it is really no probably, I was actually going to…" Brooke started before the door opened again, this time relieving Edward who had Brynlee happily sitting atop his shoulders.

"Brooke what did I tell you about locking your doors?" Edward started before spotting Haley "Hi, I don't believe we've met, I am Edward" he smiled sticking out a hand warmly.

"Hi, I'm Haley," Haley smiled, shaking his hand before turning to Brooke with a questioning look.

"Oh… um, this is Edward, he is Casey's dad, and he owns a café down the street"

"Oh, the café Lucas is always raving about?"

"Yeah"

Brooke smiled almost completely forgetting about the small blonde that had accompanied Edward.

"I am Brynlee" the four year old smiled as Edward placed her on her feet before she made her way up on to Brookes lap "I don't know who you are" she said with a shrug turning to Brooke for an answer "I don't know who you are either" she then said turning to Jamie

"I'm Haley, and that is my son Jamie" Haley smiled looking to Brooke, now more confused then ever

"Mommy is…" Brynlee started to ask Brooke something before she was cut off by a more then shocked Haley.

"I am sorry; did she just call you 'mommy'?" Haley questioned.

"She is my mommy…" Brynlee said a bit confused at the short light haired woman in front of her.

"Brooke…" Haley started before Brooke let out a sigh, lifting Brynlee off her lap.

"Bryn, why don't you and Jamie go to your room and you guys can play for a bit while I talk to Haley?"

"Ok, Grandpa Eddy bought me a new Barbie, we can play with that" the curly blonde exclaimed before grabbing Jamie's hand and pulling him off in to Casey's old room.

"I should probably get going," Edward said, now a bit uncomfortable "I will see you later alright?"

"Yeah, thanks for taking her last night" Brooke said with a smile.

"Anything for my girls" he said with a wink "Nice meeting you Haley, if you ever want a good cup of coffee, just ask Brooke where to find me" he said with a warm smile before he made his way out the door and left Brooke alone with Haley.

"So do you want to start explaining why there is a small blonde child claiming you to be her mother?"

"Because I am?" Brooke said biting down on her bottom lip as she made her way in to the small kitchen to put on a pot of coffee.

"How?"

"Am I her mother? Um, the same way you are Jamie's?"

"Well how old is she, I mean she can't be older then…"

"She is four, and let's just call her… my welcome to the city"

"Why didn't you ever say anything Brooke? Four years and you never said anything" Haley said in almost a yell.

"What did you want me to do Haley, say it in one of four emails we have sent in the last four years? 'Oh hey Hales, how's life? Nathan doing alright? How about Jamie? That's peachy… oh p.s. I am pregnant…?"

"Yes Brooke, that is what you should have done, or picked up the phone… I mean my god how could you keep something like this from everyone?"

"Because… it was just… easier alright"

"How was it easier to have to do it all on your own rather than have the support of your friends, the people that love you…?"

"The people that love me? Haley you've called me maybe six times in the last four years… Peyton I haven't spoken in god knows how long… Lucas…"

"Wait… does Lucas know?"

"No, Haley no one knows, she just moved in with me three days ago"

"Wait… where has she been?"

"With my grandmother in Long Island"

"You have a grandmother in Long Island?"

"Listen it is a long story and you have a meeting to go to?"

"Shit" Haley said looking to the clock "I have to go, but we are talking when it is over, I want to know everything…"

_**Xxx**_

"And you are sure everything is alright? Because I can just cut my day short, alright well then I am just going to get some lunch then head back and I will be at your place no later then five? Okay, if you are sure…"

Haley rapped up her phone call with Brooke as she made her way in to the half finished restaurant to meet Lucas for a quick lunch before going back to the studio.

"Hey you" Lucas said with a smile, getting up and grabbing his jacket "You ready to go rock star?"

"Producer, thank you, and yes" Haley smiled.

"I was thinking the sandwich shop on fifth?"

"Yeah that is fine" Haley said with a small smile looking down at the phone in her hands with a weird expression.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing" She shrugged as the two made there way out of the building and out in to the busy streets of the city.

"Nice try… talk to me" Lucas said, rubbing her back reassuringly.

"I dropped Jamie off at Brooke's this morning and… does she seem different to you Lucas?"

"What do you mean different?" Lucas asked with a confused look.

"Like… sadder, or not even sad, just, stressed and not all together?"

"Yeah, I guess… she's been drinking a lot more…"

"What?" Haley said turning to him, some what shocked by his statement "What do you mean she has been drinking a lot?"

"I guess it really isn't that big of a deal, but the other day I had to go pick her up from some bar, and the next morning she was already drinking again, and then yesterday… I mean maybe I am just looking too much in to it…"

"What about Brynlee though, Brooke wouldn't just get smashed with her around" Haley said more to her self then to Lucas

"Wait you know about Brynlee?" Lucas asked turning to her.

"Yeah I met her this morning… wait, you know about Brynlee?"

"I met her yesterday"

"But Brooke said…" Haley started but shock her head instead "How crazy is that, that Brooke has a kid and none of us knew…"

"What?" Lucas said stopping dead in his tracks.

"Brynlee… Brooke's daughter, I mean god, how did she just have a kid and not tell anyone? I know we drifted apart, but to not even tell me. She is my sons godmother and yet I didn't even know that her daughter existed until a few hours ago" Haley vented, before realizing the look on Lucas's face was that of a face filled with confusion and just a hint of anger. "Lucas what is wrong?"

"Brooke… I mean… Brynlee is Brooke's daughter?"

"Yeah, I thought you just said you knew about it?"

"Yea, I just…" Lucas ran a hand through his hair frustratingly before looking to Haley with a sigh "Can I get a rain check on lunch?"

"Yeah sure, but are you sure you are alright?"

"Yeah, I am fine… I just… I have stuff I have to do that I forgot about, but tomorrow?"

"Yeah, tomorrow is fine… you are scaring me though"

"I'm fine… I will just… I got to go; I will catch up with you later"

"Alright" She said with a small smile before he turned and disappeared in to the sea of people, leaving her to get lunch by herself.

_**Xxx**_

"Brooke!" Lucas yelled as he walked through the door of her home. The sound of cartoons blared through the small apartment and as he looked around the place had pretty much been turned up side down and Brooke was no where to been seen. Jamie and Brynlee where sitting on the couch watching the TV, each of them letting out a giggle or two every once in a while.

"Hey Uncle Luke" Jamie smiled as his uncle made his way in t the room

"Hey bud, where is Brooke?" Lucas asked

"She is in her room" Brynlee said to him with a small smile. It made him stop for a moment and look at the small girl in front of him. How could he have not seen it before, minus the blond hair that little girl was the spitting image of Brooke, right down to the dimples.

"Uncle Luke, are you ok?" Jamie asked

"Yeah" Lucas said, trying to break his gaze from Brynlee "Yeah, sorry guys, go back to your show I just have to talk to Brooke."

"Be quiet though, mommy is sleeping" Brynlee said placing a figure to her lips.

"Ok" Lucas said, hearing the little girl call her mommy was the conformation he needed and made him go in to her room that much faster. He opened the door and shut it, looking to her bed to find it empty before he saw the light on in the bathroom.

"She is yours?" He said not bothering to say hi or make small talk.

She took the Advil in her hand, taking a sip of water before turning to Lucas "What are you talking about?" she sighed

"Brynlee. She is your daughter, she is your god damn daughter!"

"Who told…"

"Haley said something to me thinking I knew which I should have. We have been talking for almost three months and you didn't fucking tell me you have a god damn four year old kid Brooke, what the hell is that? And where the hell has she been?"

"Lucas, I can't do this with you right now" Brooke sighed as she dug her fingers into her temple, rubbing in a circular motion trying to relieve the pressure of the headache that was building.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" He continued to push.

"Because" she huffed, pushing past him, going into her bathroom trying to find something stronger then the Advil she had just taken

"Because why, Brooke? What, was it not something you thought was important or something. Cause correct me if I am wrong but I would say having a child was pretty damn important… something that you most defiantly tell your friends!"

"Oh is that what we were Lucas, were we friends?" Brooke snapped pulling her head out of her medicine cabinet, and moving down to the cabinet under the sink.

"Yes, Brooke, we were friend, you knew that I would be there for you no matter what!"

Brooke let out a bitter laugh as she grabbed a bottle and stood up examining the back before she shook her head at him "That's just rich Lucas" she laughed again trying to open the bottle "You want to know why I didn't tell you?"

"Yes, I do"

"Fine… I didn't tell you because it was none of your god damn business, you were two fucking states away… and F.Y.I. we were never friends" She said pushing past him out of the bathroom again before he grabbed her arm roughly pulling her back to him.

"How can you say that Brooke?"

"Because it is true Lucas, I was never anything more then easy sex to you, Peyton had your heart the whole time and I was a fool to think I was anything more then a rebound. It was her before me, it was her during me, it was her after me, and then just repeat that all over again."

"When are you going to let that go Brooke?"

"Listen. I didn't tell anyone about Bryn, it was nothing against you. It is just that when she came, I needed to deal with it on my own, and as fair as I am concerned if we were such great friends, then why didn't you call… you and Haley are acting like this is so horrible of thing that I didn't tell you, but no one ever cared enough to ask…"

"So we are supposed to know to ask if you had a kid? Yeah I can see the conversation now, 'Hey Brooke, how are you, oh really? That's great, so had any kids lately?'"

"That isn't what I meant"

"Then what did you mean Brooke, because from where I am standing I don't see why there is a reason you wouldn't tell us about her"

"You just don't get it, do you?" Brooke chuckled bitterly

"No Brooke I don't get it, I will never understand how you could keep something like that from anyone"

"Well I did, so that is that, there is nothing anyone can do now" Brooke said pushing past him again. He let out a sigh knowing he was not going to win this fight he decided maybe it would just be better if he let it go for now. But before he did, he had one last thing he needed to know

"Who's the father Brooke?"

* * *

**Leave your thoughts. **


	11. Hour Stops the Sunlight

Chapter Ten

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Summary: **_They are both starting to let each other in, but Brooke's headed towards a downward spiral and Lucas isn't sure if he is the right person to help. The closer they get the worse things get, and they both start to wonder if they are really best for the other_

**Authors Note:** Sorry it has been taking me so long to update. I guess now that BL is doing better on the show my inspiration to have both their life's suck has kind of gone out the window. But I am working on twelve now, and actually sat down the other night and did an outline for the next few chapters. So even though I have always known where this story is going and what will happen, I now have a set up for it all, which helps. But I will stop rambling. please keep the reviews coming so I know you all aren't hating this. Thanks to every single on of you that have been reviewing, I know everyone says this, but it truly means the world!

Enjoy!

* * *

**When Your Dreams Died**

**Chapter Eleven: Hour Stops the Sunlight**

_I'll drink myself to sleep, cut my skin until I bleed  
hold my breath all the night_

_cause it's 5 o'clock, the hour stops the sunlight,  
the buildings shade the masquerade and kill time,  
here we're nothin more than fools and whores and sad highs,  
through the summer sand, we're living in a wasteland_

"Mommy?" it was late, just after ten o'clock and all the lights were out in the apartment, but she wasn't asleep. Her door opened slowly to reveal her small curly haired daughter in the door way in her pink night gown holding her baby blanket close to her as she tip toed in to the room

"What's wrong baby, why aren't you sleeping?" Brooke asked sitting up slightly, helping Brynlee on to the bed and in to her lap

"I heard a noise" Brynlee said resting her head on Brooke's chest

"What kind of noise?" Brooke asked stroking her daughter's hair softly

"A scary one" the small girl mumbled in to her mother's chest

"Do I need to do a monster check?"

"No, Casey did one yesterday"

"Then why are you scared bean?" Brooke asked softly, moving away slight so her daughter was looking at her

"I don't like my new room… I miss my old one" she knew it was nothing personal, but hearing her daughter say that she didn't like the room that Brooke had spent so much time on hurt slightly "Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"Of course" Brooke smiled slightly laying back a little, letting Brynlee get comfortable atop Brooke's chest

"Mommy?"

"Yes baby?"

"Why don't I have a daddy like Jamie?"

"_Who's the father Brooke?"_

"_Why is it any of your business Lucas?"_

"_Because!" He snapped, yelling causing her to jump slightly "If I have a fucking kid, I would like to know about it!"_

"_She's not yours" Brooke said simply "Like you pointed out in high school, you aren't the only guy I have ever slept with Lucas" Brooke spat_

"_Then who's the father Brooke"_

"_Why does it matter? He is out of the picture"_

"_Was that by his choice?"_

"_Again… this is your business how? Yes, Lucas, by his choice, he was a random one night thing, I got pregnant let him know and he said he didn't want anything to do with it, so now here we are… happy?"_

"_Thrilled… but that doesn't explain where the hell she has been this whole time, we have been hanging out for months know and this is the first I am even hearing about her"_

"_First of all, you didn't ask me to explain where she has been… again, not that it any of your business"_

"_Why are you being like this Brooke?"_

"_Why am I being like this Lucas? You are the one that burst in here yelling and screaming… what do you want me to do, fall to my knee and say how sorry I am for not letting you in on every detail of my life?"_

"_Every detail? Brooke you have a fucking kid… that is a pretty major detail…"_

"_She has been with my grandmother in Long Island while I finished up school… I would go up there every weekend to be with her, and now that I have a job and am stable she is living with me" Brooke said in a softer voice and she sat on the end of the bed_

"_If you needed help Brooke..."_

"_Don't, okay, this was nothing to do with you… it was hard at first but we are fine now"_

"_Listen" Lucas started with a sigh moving to sit next to her placing a hand of her knee "I am sorry I came in here the way I did… I was just shocked"_

"_I am sorry I didn't tell you, I just didn't know how"_

"_I guess I understand… I don't agree but I understand, just from now on, talk to me okay? I like to think we are actually getting somewhere and I would hate to see anything change that, so just talk too me okay?"_

"_Deal"_

"Baby" Brooke started slowly, playing with Brynlee's soft curls "You have a daddy… he just… isn't in our lives"

"Why not?"

"It's complicated"

"How?"

Brooke laughed slightly, she should have known better, Brynlee was her daughter after all and simple answers would never get her out of this one

"Maybe I will explain it when you are older"

"Does my daddy love me?" Brynlee asked after a moment or two

"Of course he does baby" Brooke sighed, kissing her forehead gentle "Of course he does"

Xxx

She watched as her daughter lay beside her, sound a sleep, thumb half way in her mouth as her chest rose and fell. She looked so peaceful and so small laying in the large bed, surrounded by pillows and blackest. It has been just over two hours since the small child had fallen back asleep, but yet, here Brooke sat, still wide awake, unable to shake her thoughts. It had been going on three weeks now that Brooke found her self sitting just like this, immersed in thought, unable to push them aside long enough to get more then an hour or two of sleep. She hadn't eaten in a while either come to think of it and it was starting to show. She was wasting away and to be honest she really didn't care.

She had made a mess of things. She'd known that form the start. Nothing was going as she planned; nothing was working out the way she thought it would. She was suppose to be rich and famous by this point, she was suppose to be not be able to seep because she was out gallivanting around New York city, visiting the best clubs, and drinking free drinks. She was supposed to be happy; she was supposed to be carefree. But she wasn't.

She looked beside her again, moving a hand to gently move a stray curl from her small daughters face. The light from the large moon shined through the window, framing her small face causing Brooke to smile. She loved her little girl more then anything. But she would be lying if she said she couldn't help but wonder if things could have been different.

_She paced up and down, her hair was a mess and her face was ride of any make up, she wore a large oversized sweatshirt with a part of shorts, her feet bare as the walked back and forth across the wood floor of her small dorm room. The timer had gone off a good ten minutes ago, but for some reason she couldn't bring her self to look. Too much was riding on this._

She sat up in the bed, making sure not to wake the sleeping girl beside her, as she carefully pushed the covers off her thin frame. She turned slowly and got out of the bed, looking once more at the small blond to make sure she was still asleep before grabbing the large sweater off the end of the bed and pulling it over her head.

_Sitting down on the end of the bed she looked down at the phone in her hands. She looked up at the thin stick that sat face down on her desk before looking back down that phone, looking up once more before opening the phone slowing. She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly before her shaking finger punching in the first number of an all too familiar number. Her eye started to burn slightly as tears began to form, but with another shaking deep breath she managed to slowly dial the rest of the number before standing up and hitting send. Slowly she brought the phone to her ear as she made her way to the desk, her index finger slowly trance the stick as she listen to the ring._

It was a cold night, colder then she was expecting. It was quiet too, quieter then she was expecting. The only sound to be heard were the few cars below her and the faint sound of wind chimes in the apartment next to her. She sat down slowly in the large wood chair, pulling her sweater tighter around her body, bring her bare legs up, rubbing them in a almost pointless attempt to warm them before she leaned back to move the large flower pot just slightly to the left. She reached back behind it, felling around slightly before she felt to cool glass hit the tips of her fingers. She grabbed the skinny top of the bottle and pulling it out from its hiding spot, not even bothering to look down at it, before she started twisting the cap. She found it rather odd that sound of the plastic snapping as the bottle open brought her a since of comfort, but she normally didn't pay it that much mind. It was a sound that lasted no longer then three seconds, but it was sound she knew lend to numbing that she crave, it was a sound that lend to an escape she needed. The faint sound of the plastic snapping gave her a since of relief and for a while now it was sound that she longed to hear.

_She hated the sound on the other end of the phone; it always seemed to make her heart rise. It made her wound what would happen when it was cut off, what would be said, who would be on the other end of it… it wasn't comforting in the least. _

She slowly untwisted the cap, removing it from the bottle before she look down at the bottle in her hands. A part of her was screaming to just put the cap back on and forget the bottle even was there. She needed to stop this; she needed to face her life. This was the life she chose and she needed to learn to accept that, she needed to take responsibility for that. The catch was that taking responsibility was never her strong suit.

"_Hello?" The voice hadn't changed, it was still deep, it was still soft, still comforting. There was still that something in the voice that made her want to melt in to a puddle, it made her want to spill her heart out._

_It was that reason however that she didn't speak, in fear of what she would say. Tears wheeled in her eyes, taking a deep breath she began to speak but no words came out. She shut her eyes tightly, tears squeezing out the sides as she took another deep breath_

"_Brooke?" The desperation of his voice was obvious and it made her heart ach. It was as if saying her name was a plea for her to say something… anything. But she couldn't. She couldn't do this to him. Leaving was her way of letting him go, letting him be free. _

She set the cap down on the small table beside her and took a long drink from the bottle, letting the liquid burn down her throat as a numbing warmth trickled down in to her body. Slowly she moved the bottle way from her mouth and shut her eyes leaning back in her chair. The cold air bit her as it blow by, and with that she let her body shake in a painful sob. The tears escaped her eyes quickly, rushing down her face freely. She hadn't known how she had got to this point. Things were never suppose to be like this. She was not supposed to be like this.

"_Brooke are you there?" With yet another deep breath she tried to speak but, yet again, no words came. Her fingers still tracing the thing stick in front of her_

"_Brooke say something please…" He'd called her countless times in the last three months, leaving message after message pleading with her to just call him back. The calls had stopped about a week ago however. She took it as a sign that maybe he had moved on, abandoned all hope, which she didn't blame him for. After all that was her goal. Why else wouldn't she call back, let alone answer the phone. The truth was though that there wasn't a day that went by that she didn't think about him. What he was doing, what he was thinking, even what he was wearing… or maybe if he had that cute little squinty thing stuck on his face as he brooded in the corner. She missed everything about him, and even though he had been calling, she still wondered slightly if he felt the same way._

_Maybe that is what made her finally flip the stick over. She thought it would give her' her answer. It would tell her where to go from where she was now. Maybe that is why when she turned the stick over; she shut the phone with out another word._


	12. Disposition

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea and characters in my head.**

**Summary: **_They are both starting to let each other in, but Brooke's headed towards a downward spiral and Lucas isn't sure if he is the right person to help. The closer they get the worse things get, and they both start to wonder if they are really best for the other_

**Authors Note: **Hello strangers! Sorry it's been so long since my last update. I know it isn't my best, but there are a few parts I really like and I hope you do! Please review! Here is chapter twelve.

* * *

**When Your Dreams Died**

**Chapter Twelve: Disposition**

_  
like the battles with yourself  
that leave you insecure  
It's all just a nulling charade  
Until the day you finally wake up  
and you're not, afraid.  
Bound my my own disposition,  
an endless hunt to find for wishing.  
I'm insatiable, even if my cup is full._

She was going to be late again, that was clear the minute she woke up to the sun blinding her as a bird chirped annoyingly on the edge of the railing of her balcony. She let out a tired groan as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. Yawning she examined her surrounds realizing quickly that she wasn't in her bed and she wasn't next to her daughter. Instead she was next to an empty bottle of rum. Normally she would just ignore this fact and take the bottle inside and throw it away like she normal did, but the larger then usual headache was putting a slight damper on those plans.

"Baby, you gotta get up" Broke said softly, rubbing her small child's back once she was back in her room. The blonde stirred or a moment before releasing a groan before she rolled over, letting her large hazel eyes flatter open. A smile spread across her face making her deep dimples show "Morning doll face" Brooke smiled leaning down to kiss her daughter forehead "We are running late, we gotta move" Brooke said moving away from the bed and in to her bathroom, turning on the fosset before she started to brush her teeth, trying her hardest to get the stale taste of alcohol to vanish.

"Mommy?" Brynlee's husky voice called out. The small girl hopped off the bed, rubbing a hand through her wild curly hair.

"Yea babe?" Brooke asked with a mouth full of toothpaste

"Where were you last night?" The blond ask stepping up on the stool next to the sink before she reached over and grabbed her small Barbie tooth brush

Brooke spit the foam her mouth slowing, trying her best to avoid eye contact with her daughter. "What do you mean babe? I was with you." She said as she squeezed a little bit of toothpaste on to Brynlee's brush.

"No…" Brynlee started before sticking the small pink stick in to her mouth, "you left"

Brooke, who had now moved on to brushing her hair, slowed her strokes slightly. She hated that she actually had to have this conversation with her daughter; she had always said it would never get this bad, it would never affect Brynlee, and she would never have to lie to her daughter. But yet before she even knew what she was saying, another lie was rolling right off her tongue.

"I got really hot and decide to go sleep outside…"

"But it's really REALLY cold outside." Brynlee said with furrowed eyebrows, foam seeping from the corners of her mouth as she continued to brush.

"I know, but sometimes you jut want to be really cold." _Whoa Brooke… that is the best you could do? _With a line like that you might as well have jut been honest and said 'Honey, I left you alone in my bed last night because I had a sick uncontrollable urge to down a full bottle of liquor in the middle of the night by myself.'

Brynlee shrugged however and sip the foam from her mouth before hopping down and wiping her mouth on the hanging towel behind her.

"I am going to go get dressed," she said as she looked up to her mother for the okay.

"Alright sweet pea, I left you outfit on your chair, come get me if you need help."

"Kay," and with that the blonde's curls were bouncing behind her as she made her way out of the room.

XXX

"Bryn baby girl lets go!" Brooke yelled from the kitchen as she continue to gather the last few items off the counter before stuffing them in to her daughter pink lunch box. "We are going to be even later then we are right now princess." Brooke called again looking down at the white watch on her wrist. Her head was still killing her and her stomach felt as though it could open up at any moment, but to look at her you would never know it. Even hung over she was beautiful, her hair perfectly curled and her make up applied in perfect stokes.

"Mommy I don't know were Fred is." Brynlee said coming out of her room, a confused expression written on her face as she looked around her.

"Well where were you when you last had him?" Brooke asked pouring the last bit of coffee in to the to go mug in her hand.

Brynlee shrugged, her small backpack rising slightly on her shoulders as she did so. She was dressed in a simple light green polo which was paired with a pair of jeans. The ruffles from her socks laid above her simple white shoes and her wild hair was pulled back in to a lose pony tail. "I took him out side for a little while yesterday but I thought I brought him back in." She explained.

"Good morning darlings!" Casey's voice sang as she walked in to the apartment with a smile. "Ready to go to preschool munchkin?" She asked the small child.

"I need to find Fred." She pouted as her small arms tried to lift the couch cushion.

"Baby, how about I look for Fred and then I will bring him to you when I pick you up." Brooke asked.

"But I need him to come with me."

Brooke looked down at her daughter with a sad smiled. "You are sure he isn't in your room?"

"I think he might still be outside, I'm going to go look." Brynlee said and started for the door before Brooke stopped her.

"Wait babe, why don't you go get your jacket and I will go see if he is out there, you are going to be late if we don't get a move on."

Brynlee nodded her head before she ran off to her room to grab the jacket that was laying on her bed, while Brooke made her way out the back door to look for her daughter beloved bear.

"I am just going to wait downstairs." Casey called to her.

"Kay." Brook answered back for making her way in to the chilling morning. She rubbed her hands together in an attempt to warm her self as she looked around for the old ratty gray bear. She still to this day couldn't figure out how out of every stuff animal her daughter had, that stupid, smelly torn up teady bear was her favorite. It was missing an eye and had "stitches" as Brynlee called them, all over from placed where the bear's seaming had split. She finally spotted it lying on the chair next to the one that she had occupied the night before and smiled as she grabbed the bear.

"Brooke?" She turned hearing the voice, her smile falling slightly when her eyes meant his. "What are you doing out here?"

"I had to find Bryn's bear" Brooke said before thinking.

"You still have Fred?" Lucas asked taking the ratty bear out of her small hands before laughing slightly. "His seen better days."

"Yeah," she nodded slightly before an awkward silence fell over them.

"Do you remember when I gave this to you?" He smiled.

"When I came over that night after the shooting… you made fun of me after I told you that I had a purple monkey that I use to sleep with when I was scared but I lost him when I went to Paris with my family…."

"And then I told you that it wasn't a purple money but I did had an old bear that I use to sleep with when I was scared that you could have." Lucas smiled.

"And then I told you that you should keep it and you told me…"

"As long as I had you I didn't need him." Lucas finished for her as his thumb ran over the bear slowly before his eyes catch sight of something else. "Rough night?"

She looked at him confused for a moment before she looked down at the floor beside him and sighed. "Please don't start."

"I would love to assume you didn't drink that all yourself, but seeing as your roommate is a four year old…"

"Lucas…"

"Brooke you need to see someone, this isn't right, it's not normal…. Or healthy for that matter."

"What it is is none of your business." She said taking the bear out of his hands. "Now if you don't mind, I need to get my daughter to school" and with that all he heard was the clicking off her heals against the cement before the door slammed loudly behind her.

XXX

She looked down at her watch as she walked through the spinning door. She took a breath when she saw she made it with a little less then three minutes to spare. She hated when morning went the way this morning had. It throw the whole rest her day off. And with the way things had been going she couldn't afford to be thrown off. The elevator let out a loud bing before the doors opened allowing Brooke to walk out to her office, offering the pretty red head at the front desk a smile before collecting her messages and reading them as she pushed open her office door.

She removed her coat, throwing it lazily over one of the small chairs that sat in front of her desk, and groaned slightly as she continued to read through the messages. She had three different meetings, two different phone conferences as well as finalizing the last of her designs with Carolina. This was going to be a long day, she thought to her self with a sigh... and then, to her surprise, her large, black leather chair turned. The pink messages in her hands fell when she saw who it was occupying her seat.

"Oh, so you do check you're messages… could have fooled me seeing as I have left you countless and yet not one has been returned."

Yep. This was definitely going to be a long day.

"Mother… what are you doing here?" Brooke sighed and leaned down to pick up the messages she had dropped. She set them on her desk before moving around the mahogany table and taking her seat once her mother stood up.

"I need to talk to you."

"So you flew to New York?" Brooke huffed.

"Well I tried calling, but it seems that you have seemed to have forgotten your manner… it is very unprofessional." Victoria Davis, stated, head healed strong and high as she smoothed out her flawless black suit.

"Well then I guess it is a good thing you aren't a client…. Now if you don't mind I have a lot of work to do." Brooke sighed.

"Well I do mind Brooklyn, I flew all the way out her and you can't even give me two minutes."

"You can't just show up and expect me to just be able to drop everything. I have a thousand things to do, and listening to you tell me about all my faults is not something I have time for." She snapped.

"How do you know that is what I need to discuss with you Brooklyn. See you always do this, you assume what I am going to say inset of just listening and having a normal adult conversation." Victoria scolded, crossing her arms across her chest.

Brooke let out an aggravated huff before dragging her hands throw her hair. "What do you need then mother?—please I am _dying_ to know."

"I want to talk to you about your current situation."

"What current situation?" Brooke asked as she continued to go through a few emails on her computer.

"Well, work seems to be starting to kind of take off for you."

"Yes, and you point would be?"

"Well, I talked to Mother and she told me that Brynlee was now with you full time."

"Again, yes." Brooke said, still not looking up to her mother.

"Brooklyn, I just wonder if you have really thought this through." Victoria stressed, sitting down on the edge of the chair in front of Brooke's desk.

"What do you mean mother?" Brooke asked in annoyance.

"Are you sure you can handle all of this?" She paused, "I mean if your designs get picked up you are going to need to do so much. I just worry now that Brynlee is living with you that your career will suffer."

"My career will be fine. People work and have children everyday." Brooke's icy tone caused her mother to become more firm in getting her point across.

"Yes," Victoria replied, "but most of those people aren't successful."

"What is your point mother?" Brooke groaned, finally looking up.

"My point is that I think right now you need to be focused more on your career, you had a good thing going with your grandmother. I just don't understand why you would want to risk your career at a time like this."

"Because she is my _child_ mother and it was hard enough handing her off in the first place." Brooke said with anger rising in her voice. Her familiar raspy tone became more hoarse than usual as she continued. "She is my responsibly, she comes first over _everything_."

"All you would need is another year though Brooklyn, think of where you could be. Think of the money and the popularity, you could be a label Brooke, but you have to apply yourself." Victoria continued to push the subject.

"That is all fine and good mother, but again, my child is my first priority."

"Brooklyn, you and I both know that you can't do both—you don't have the ability. It will never work for you. You are the kind of person that can only handle so much. You know this just as well as I do." She shrugged simply. "You are silly to think you can actually accomplish anything well you run around playing mommy."

"I am not running around playing mommy, I _am_ a mother."

"Well then why weren't you all through your college career?"

"That was different." Brooke broke eye contact with her mother to stare down at her desk momentarily.

"How? You wanted to further yourself, and that is what you did, how is this any different?" Victoria asked snappishly.

"Because the deal was once I was done with college, she would come back with me. I am a big girl and I can handle this and I really don't need you here telling me how to live my life." Brooke said firmly, the anger and frustration clearly evident in her voice

"So you idea of handling it is hiding away a bottle of rum in the back of your drawer?"

"You went through my drawers?" Brooke asked trough her teeth.

"And it is a good thing I did…. Brooke, when are you going to wake up and face that fact that you just aren't built to handle this. It's above your head. You will never succeed like this, just like I told you when you came and told me you were pregnant. She was a mistake, and you have an opportunity to fix that mistake and you are still choosing to fail. I just don't know what is wrong with you."

"First of all, my daughter is not a mistake. Second of all, I am not choosing to fail. I am choosing to own up to my chose, unlike you. I have a child and I love her with everything I have. Who the hell do you think you are to tell me all of this, you were nothing more then some rich mans trophy. You never loved me, and you never loved daddy, you loved the money and the status. I would rather die then become anything like you. So if that make same a failure then so be it, but ad least I can do to sleep with some dignity."

"So drinking your thoughts away is what they call dignity now-a-days?"

"You are really one to talk." Brooke scoffed in disbelief.

"I am your mother, and I want you to do well and it is clear that will never happen if you continue with this way of life."

"You have to act like a mother to be a mother, therefore you are not. I will not sit here and listen to you telling me to give up the one thing that actually matters. I am not going to sit her and have you pick me apart just as you always do. As far as I am concerned, you are not my mother, and I am completely okay with that. So if you wouldn't mind showing your self out, I would really appreciate it."

And with that, Victoria Davis, offered a smug look before grabbing her purse, then straighten her skirt and was out the door without another word. Brooke was left to sit there with her head in her heads.

This was going to be a long day.

XXX

She let the wind blow past her, her eyes in a slight squint as she let the dark grey smoke leave her mouth. Her lungs became slightly dry from the decay that was being breathed in to them. She let her long auburn hair blow behind her as the wind swept past and brought the thin white stick back to her mouth. Hearing the subtle sound of paper burning down as the garbage it contained burned in to her lungs, brought with it a calm and relaxing feeling. She breathed out leaning against the brick wall while letting her arm fall to her side. The half smoked cigarette in-between her fingers felt heavy as she looked out at the busy city lot in front of her.

"Wouldn't have pegged you for a smoker." Came an increasingly familiar tone.

"No but you would have pegged me for an alcoholic." She snapped out automatically.

"I never said that Brooke… I am just worried and I think you've just be-"

"Been drinking to much?" She asked, a strike of bitterness eating through her words as she turned to him.

"Well, yeah." He shrugged.

"Well who the hell are you to decide that?" she asked harshly, taking another drag from the cigarette.

"Brooke, every time I have seen you you're either drinking, already drunk, or hung-over."

"Well I am sorry that I need to unwind every once in a while." She flicked the thin stick; letting some of the burnt ash fall.

"Brooke there is other ways to unwind then drinking yourself to the point where you can't even remember your own name."

"Oh really Lucas, and what are those other ways? What… could I talk to you, tell you about my troubles, everything that is bugging me… yeah right." She chuckled

"Why are you being like this, you were never like this before?" Lucas said with a sigh.

"People change." Brooke shrugged taking another long drag from the cigarette, letting the smoke burn her lunges before she let it out slowly.

"You didn't have to."

"Actually, I did… things changed, there for I had to change with them."

"You need to talk to someone Brooke, let someone help you."

"I don't need help Lucas!" Brooke snapped. "I don't fucking need to talk, or vent or anything. I need to get my line done by the dead line and I need to finish Brynlee's room, and take her to the park and spend some real time with my kid for once. But I don't fucking need help, and even if I did… it isn't like it is anything I could get help with. So take your advice and shove it because it is not helping!"

"And whose fault is that?" Lucas snapped back.

"Mine of course." She said with a bitter chuckle.

"You know you can't just take every serious thing and turn it in to sarcasm."

"Could have fooled me." Brooke let the cigarette drop and crushed it with the toe of her expensive black heal before pushing herself off the building and past Lucas.

"Brooke!" He snapped, calling after her.

"What Lucas, what the hell do you want from me? I am in over my head and I don't know what the fuck to do any more, ok? Are you happy? You got me to say it. I, Brooke Davis haven't a fucking clue as to what the fuck I am doing! Ok, happy?"

"No, I'm not Brooke, I want to help you."

"Then just let me be."

"What so you can go drowned your sorrows in a bottle of Vodka and a few Tequila shots?"

"You have no right to judge me," she hissed through her teeth.

"Well maybe if you would tell me-"

"It's not like you would understand, like I said you don't know me." She said turning way form him again, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she took a small breath.

"Because you won't let me." He snapped turning her back to face him.

"Yeah because you just opened the gates to you right up." She chuckled bitterly.

"Hey! I am really trying here, you are the one that avoids me every chance you get!" Lucas yelled, frustration clear in his voice.

"It isn't my fault I am busy Lucas!" Brooke yelled back.

"I am busy too, yet I have time to pick up a phone. But then again, I should have known, calling people back was never one of your strong suits." Lucas said with a sour chuckle.

"Yea? Well when you had a boyfriend who never use to call you then suddenly starts? It's kind of a shock." She smirked. "Especially when he starts calling _after_ you've broken up with him and he had wasted no time in dating your best friend."

"Are you ever going to let high school go?" Lucas asked in a lower tone.

"It isn't just high school to me, it was my life Lucas. And you managed to make it a living hell. I'm still trying to manage the ability to stomach the sight of you!"

"So it is really that bad? I hurt you that bad you can't even look at me four years later?"

"Yep." Brooke stated simply. Looking away from him and out at the streets in front of her as she did so.

"Take another shot Brooke cause you were the one that broke up with me." Lucas growled out spitefully.

"After you kissed MY best friend, AGAIN!" Her voice rose higher, her head snapping to look at him again.

"She kissed me!" he fought back.

"You didn't stop her!" came her agitated reply.

"At least she let me in."

"Yeah, and at least you gave her your heart." Brooke scoffed. "At least someone has it." She sighed, ending the yelling match as she pushed past him yet again, her heals clicking on the dirty pavement.

"Brooke! Damn it! _Brooke!_" He yelled, pulling her arm forcing her to stop. "I loved you, I loved you and I wanted to let you in but you weren't giving me a chance. You needed too much from me, and I couldn't do it." The minute the words left his mouth he wanted nothing more then to stick both his feet in to it.

The words replayed in his head as he realized what an idiot he must have sounded like. His eyes clenched tight with regret as she ripped her arm away from him. The daggers her eyes were sending him were proof enough to make him see how stupid he truly was.

"Well, if you _**loved**_ me, it shouldn't matter now, now should it?" and with that, Brooke Davis was gone, and Lucas was left to kick him self in the ass—yet again.

Something things never truly changed.

Xxx


	13. Ripple

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Summary: **_They are both starting to let each other in, but Brooke's headed towards a downward spiral and Lucas isn't sure if he is the right person to help. The closer they get the worse things get, and they both start to wonder if they are really best for the other_

**Authors Note: **Hello all. I am back again. So this is the big one that you have all been waiting for… well I think anyway. I hope I did it justice. Huge thanks to Lynn (jusklikebrooke) for betaing for me… I haven't a clue what I would do with out you!

**Don't forget to review. I promise there will be shout out's next chapter!**

_Enjoy._

* * *

**When Your Dreams Died**

**Chapter Thirteen: _Ripple_**

_Once said, always said.  
I will hold the past over your head.  
I'll speak my mind whenever i feel slighted.  
I am hellbent on extracting all of my revenge.  
So take heart, sweetheart, or I will take it from you._

It's a kind of quiet that many people experience every day but never notice. It's the quiet that _isn't_. It's noisy and loud, but to her it's silent. All she could hear was the steady beat of her feet hitting the dirty pavement as she ran. Her high pony tail sawing from side to side as her arms pumped up and down. Her eyes focus only on what was in front of her. Her nose was filled by the smell of the dirty river she was running next to.

"_Part of me thinks that you have been waiting… waiting to push me away"_

She hasn't done this in a long time. The more she thinks about it, she comes to the conclusion it's because no matter how hard she tries, it never truly doesn't clear her mind. If anything, the silence she is faced with is only causing the locked away voices to be freed. Her jog turns in to a run. Maybe she thinks it will help her escape. But now, the beat she was concentrating on is disappearing.

"_You told me to fight for you, and I did, but you never fought for me…"_

The few people that are actually out at this hour turn their heads to watch as she speeds past. It looks almost like someone should be chasing her. It's clear to any eye that she is running from something.

"_And I'm not going to"_

Her breathing is uneven and her chest is becoming heavy. Her pace slows slightly as she allows her self to come out of her thoughts. She stops at the edge of the dirty river beside her. Looking down in to it, hands on her knees as she tries to catch her breath, she sees her self. She is thinner then she thought. She can make that out even in the unevenness of the moving water. She looks tired, beat down. This is not her; this is not the girl she worked so hard to perfect. She watches as the water ripples', distorting her image for a moment, causing her to wish that it wouldn't go back to what it was before. But it does, and she is left to face it.

"_Then I was wrong… I'm not the guy for you"_

XXX

"Well' well, so glad you could join us today" Casey said looking up from her desk as Brooke made her way in to the office a little over an hour later then she was suppose to

"I got a late start" Brooke shrugged, moving past Casey and over to her office but Casey followed right behind her

"You okay?" The blonde questioned with a slight eyebrow raise

"Why wouldn't I be?" Brooke asked simply as she sat down at her desk, turning her computer on before going through the stack of papers on her desk

"Cause you are not normally late"

"I don't normally have a four year old to worry about… I am still trying to adjust" Brooke said, her tone short, causing Casey to push a little bit more

"Brooke if you need help…"

"You know… if one more person asks if I need help I am going to lose it. I don't need help alright; I am perfectly okay on my own. I am not incapable of doing something by myself and I am so sick of people acting like I am" Brooke huffed defensively

"Brooke, you know that is not what I meant, I know things are hard right now… with Bryn moving in with you and the new job and everything else, you are just taking on a lot that is all…" Casey tried to explain as best as she could "There is no need to get so defensive about it, I just want to help"

"Well save it okay, because I have it under control" Brooke snapped

"Really? Cause it doesn't seem like it" the thin blonde said, giving up her warm understanding tone

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" Brooke questioned coldly

"Exactly what I said Brooke"

"I am not doing this with you today… I am not in the mood" Brooke groaned, shaking her head, looking back through her paperwork

"You're never in the mood Brooke… but I am trying here and you are giving me nothing but bitchiness and the cold shoulder. I am trying to be on your side here but you're making it really hard"

Brooke didn't say anything for a movement. Taking a deep breath, she leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry… it really was just kind of a rough morning, and I know Carolina is going to be on my ass about it, and I… things are just a lot tougher then I thought they were going to be" she tried to explain as calmly as she could

"Glad to hear you finally admit it" Casey sighed and sat down in on the chair in front of Brooke's desk

"Casey, I know you are trying to help, but saying you knew I was going to fail all along is really not helping me what so ever"

"I never said I thought you were going to fail, but I think everyone but you knew this was not going to be easy. We were all just waiting for you to realize it"

"So what… did you guys have like a pool going on when I would snap or something?" Brooke questioned bitterly

"Brooke, it wasn't like that" Casey cut in

"Well that is what it sounds like" Brooke huffed

"This is getting us no where… I didn't mean to offend you… again I am just trying to help." Casey sighed as an awkward silence fell over them "Why don't me you and Bryn go to a movie or something tonight… you know something fun for a change?" Casey offered with an optimistic smile

"I can't, my deadline is in a week and I am no where near ready" Brooke sighed sadly

"Then how about I take Bryn, and give you a few hours of quiet"

"You always take Bryn Case…"

"I have more free time then you do" Casey said with a shrug "Plus, I love her and I love spending time with her…" Casey smiled warmly

"Casey you don't need to try and make me feel better"

"I'm not" the blonde said quickly "Well I am, but not with spending time with her… I want to, and you need some quiet time, so it is set… I'll pick her up around six"

"Casey…" Brooke started to fight

"No… I will take her down to my dad's, he has been dying to see her… and you, but I am sure he will be happy with whatever he can get" she smiled

"You're the best Casey" Brooke said with a small smile

"Anything for my best friend" she smiled, getting up from the chair and walking over to the door before turning slightly to face the brunette again "Oh and Brooke?"

"Yea?" she asked looking up to the blonde

"I know you are doing you're best… but even you can't do everything"

"As I am starting to figure out" She said with a small laugh and a sigh

"I'll see ya later… we'll get lunch" and with that Casey walked out the door and returned to her desk.

XXX

"Knock, knock" Casey called as she entered the small apartment.

"Hey" Brooke smiled from the couch, a sketch pad in her lap "Bryn, Casey is here" she called before turning to thin blonde next to her

"You know, you don't need to take her tonight, you can go out and have fun…"

"Brynlee is fun" Casey smiled as the Brynlee made her way out of her room, showing off her dimples when she saw Casey "Aren't you?"

"Mommy, Casey is taking me to see the new Hannah Montana movie"

"Is she really?" Brooke smiled, taking a sip of her drink before setting it down "That sounds like a lot of fun baby, I bet you guys are going to have a blast"

Brynlee smiled largely and nodded her head, causing her curly blond pony tail to sway "You should come"

"Aw, I wish I could baby, but I have a ton of work to do" Brooke smiled sadly as Brynlee made her way to the couch to sit next to her mother "But you guys are going to have a lot of fun with out me, and then maybe in the morning we can all go out for breakfast" Brooke smiled, playing with her daughters curls

"Really?" Brynlee asked with a large smile

"Yep" Brooke nodded "Now go get your shoes so you guys won't be late"

Brynlee smiled before hopping off the couch and making her way in to her room, leaving Brooke and Casey alone

"So how has it been going, I feel like I haven't talked to you in forever" Casey said placing her hands in the back pockets of her jeans

"Case, I see you everyday at work" Brooke chuckled "We just talked this morning"

"I know, but we never get to talk like we use to… you are all busy with your new job and everything"

"We talk all the time… and there is really nothing to tell" Brooke shrugged

"So you are doing okay?" Casey asked softly with a slightly raised eyebrow

"Yeah…. Why wouldn't I be?" Brooke asked taking another sip of her drink

Casey was quite for a minute, studying her friend closely before she continued to speak "What are you drinking?"

"Excuse me?" Brooke asked a bit confused

"What are you drinking?" Casey pushed

"Water? Why?" Brooke said going back to the sketch on her lap

"Brooke…."

"What? Are you my mother all of the sudden… why does it matter what I am drinking?" Brooke said, raising her hands up for emphasis but still without looking up to meet her friend's eyes.

"It matters because you have a four year old living with you now and she needs you"

"She has me Casey" Brooke said, her voice raising slightly as she glared at Casey

"You promised you were going to stop drinking" Casey said softly, looking down at the glass sitting on the small wooden table next to her dark haired friend

"Casey… so what if I drink a little… I am not drunk, and how dare you talk about my drinking habits when you are just as bad"

"First of all, you don't just drink a little, second of all, it doesn't matter if you are drunk or not, and third, I don't sit at home every night and start drinking once I know my kid is asleep or in someone else's care…" the blonde fought back, her voice returning to it's strike tone once again

"You are unbelievable Casey" Brooke scuffed

"No you are Brooke… when are you going to understand that you can't keep acting like this, you have to start dealing with your issues you can't just drown them in a glass of vodka anymore Brooke…"

"I am not drowning my problems Casey"

"Oh really…. So you have talked to-"

"Don't start with that Casey" Brooke cut her off quietly

"You need to talk to him sometime Brooke, it was one thing when he lived in a different state and you never talked, but this is worse, he lives four blocks away…"

"My life and how I chose to live it is none of your business"

"You are right… but when you moved in with me and asked me to keep this secret for you, you made it my business. And the minute that boy walked back in to your life and you continued to lie and then asked me to lie too, you made it my business even more. So right now, either you tell him or I do"

"You have no right" Brooke fought

"And you have no right to keep this from him…. You have no right to keep it from her. How dare you sit here and act as though you are the victim in all of this. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, because _you_ did this Brooke… and no amount of alcohol will change that!"

"What the hell do you want me to do now Casey?" Brooke yelled standing up "Huh? It is too late; there has been too much time for me to do anything now"

"No… you just know that there is no way you can get out of being wrong in this one and so you are trying to get out of it anyway you can… this…" Casey paused grabbing the glass that Brooke was drinking out of, "This being attempt one"

"So what am I suppose to do Casey, call him up and be like… hey Lucas… it's been four years, and we are just getting back on good terms, but do you remember the night that we had sex and I left the next morning with out a word? Well when I got to New York I found out I was pregnant, oh and it is yours, which I lied to you about, by the way… want to go have dinner with me and your kid now?" Brooke said in an angry whisper, remembering the four year old that was only a few feet away in the other room.

Neither Brooke nor the Casey noticed the front door that had opened in the middle of Brooke's outburst, and neither noticed who it was that came through that door. Neither of them noticed, until he cleared his throat, causing both of them to look up, shock, surprise falling upon their face

"Brooke…" His voice was shaky as he said her name, looking her dead in the eye. No one dared to move, they just stood there holding their breath "What did you just say?"

The color was drained from her face, and she almost looked as though she might be sick. She couldn't comprehend what was going on at this point and all she wanted to do was take the glass from Casey's hand and down it as fast as she could

"Brooke… please answer me" The blonde said moving a little closer to her

"Mommy, will you tie my shoe" the small voice almost echoed in the silence as she trotted out to her mother. The tiny girl sat on the couch in front of her before holding up the shoes for her mother to take

"Here, I will do it over at my place okay? We have to go or we are going to be late" Casey said calmly and looked at Brooke before she set the glass down, making her way to Brynlee and picked her up. She looked between the two other people in the room once more before started for the door

"Bye mommy" Brynlee smiled "I will see you tomorrow…. Bye Mr. Lucas" and with that Casey has them both at out the door, leaving nothing but silence and an intense stare down behind her

"Answer me Brooke" Lucas finally said

"How much did you hear?"

"Enough…" Lucas said quickly "Is it true… what you said"

Nothing.

"Brooke, I need you to answer me" He said again, his voice raising slightly, his face becoming slightly more red

Still there was nothing more then silence

"Brooke!" He yelled, his fist clenching causing her to jump slightly "Answer me!"

"Yes!" She jumped slightly "Yes, it's true"

He froze. He didn't know what to do. Their eyes were still locked as he moved away from her but he was shaking his head vigorously "I can't believe this" he breathed out

"Lucas I can explain" She said quietly, moving closer to him

"Oh really Brooke… you can explain… well then, let's hear it then…"

"I was scared…" Brooke started

"You were scared?" Lucas yelled, laughing bitterly "You didn't tell me about my fucking child because you were fucking scared? This has to be a joke"

"I am sorry Lucas I just…"

"You just what?" Lucas said through clenched teeth as he waited for her answer "You just what Brooke?" He questioned again a little louder this time

"I didn't know how to tell you" Tears were welling in her eyes and her voice was cracking as she spoke

"What so you just don't say anything!" Lucas yelled "What the hell is wrong with you Brooke? You kept MY fucking kid from me because you didn't know how to fucking tell me!"

She could have sworn the apartment shook as his voice boomed. She knew if he ever found out it would be bad, but this was getting to be more then she could take. Her body was aching to grab the glass that sat on the small end table and down it, all before running as fast as she could away from this whole situation.

"Say something damn it!" he yelled, looking down to the glass her eyes seemed to be glued to, moving forward slightly, he lifted the glass to his noise. Shaking his head as his anger grow "You have got to be fucking _kidding_ me!"

"Lucas…" she started cautiously before he cut her off

"No!" He yelled "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing!" She fought, a tear rolling down her cheeck as she watched his body tense even more, the anger in his face more evident now more then ever

"Yes there is! No normal person sits at home and drinks straight alcohol every night while their _child_ is home. No normal person drinks the way you do period. And no normal person keeps their child a secret from the kid's father for four mother fucking years!" He yelled even louder, causing her to move away slightly "So answer me Brooke, what the hell is wrong with you!" he demanded, but again, she said nothing. She didn't speak; she didn't even dare look in his direction. "Damn it Brooke speak!" he yelled, throwing the glass at the wall causing her to jump again, more tears falling from her eyes as she looked at the shattered glass on the floor.

"I don't know okay. I don't know" she sobbed, falling to sit on the couch her head in her hands as he glared down at her.

"You need help" he said in a much softer tone

"I wanted to tell you about her… I had the phone dialed so many times" She said looking up at him through her tears

"But you never did tell me, and now here we are four years later, and I am just finding out that I have missed out on four years of my child's life all because you were too much of a coward to just tell me" he turned away from her for a moment. His eyes finding the glass he had just shattered against the wall "Either you get help… or I will take her"

"What?" Brooke said looking to him once again

"You have a problem Brooke, whether you want to admit it or not, you do. If you want to endanger your self then fine, at this point I could care less, but I will not let you put her in danger. She is four years old for god sakes. So either you get help or so help me god I will take her and you will never see her again" He knew he was being horribly cruel. The pain on her face, the worry, the fear would normally be enough to have him on his knees begging for forgiveness. But regardless of how hard he searched, he couldn't find one ounce of remorse for her at the moment. Just anger.

"You can't do that, she is MY daughter!" Brooke yelled, standing up

"THEN START ACTING LIKE HER FUCKING MOTHER, BROOKE!" Lucas yelled back as he turned to face her again "I really don't see why it would matter to you anyway, it is not like you have never shoved her off on anyone before" he spat bitterly

"How dare you" she breathed "You don't have a fucking clue about that situation or how hard it was for me"

"It seems like a lot of things concerning her are hard for you…" he said smugly

"I love her… I would never do anything to hurt her" Brooke spoke, tears still running down her face, taking her dark makeup with them

"You already are!" his voice rose again "And if you can't see that then that just reaffirms that she shouldn't be here with you"

"You are not taking her" Brooke spoke, standing a little straight, pushing past the tears to look in to his ice cold eyes

"Watch me" he challenged moving closer to her "Pack you're shit and get your ass some help or you can say goodbye to her Brooke…" his eyes were dark and his tone was ice cold. He was so close to her, she had to move back slightly in fear he might do something. She had never seen this side of him before. Even at there lowest point, he'd never been like this.

"Get help Brooke, because trust me, if you don't you are going to need something a lot stronger then vodka" and with that the door closed with a loud slam and he left her to watch the clear liquid that was spilled on the floor continue to slowly move forward.

* * *

**So? Leave you're thoughts.**


	14. What Are You Afraid Of

Rehabilitation, Day Six

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Summary: **_They are both starting to let each other in, but Brooke's headed towards a downward spiral and Lucas isn't sure if he is the right person to help. The closer they get the worse things get, and they both start to wonder if they are really best for the other_

**Authors Note: **Hello again. I am back with a new chapter… I tried not to take as long as usual… but I know it did take me a very long time still so I am really sorry. About this chapter? Well I am not all that thrilled, but Lynn convinced me it wasn't complete garbage so I guess I will take her word for it. Sorry about the errors. I tried to catch as many as I could… but I wanted to get this up for all of you as soon as I could, so I couldn't get it betaed. Anyway, enough of my nonsense. Hope you enjoy. Make sure to review!

_**P.S. I tried to reply to all of your reviews…. I know I missed some of you and I am so sorry! Time got away from me, but I promise up and down and around the world I will get every single of you this time!**_

_Enjoy._

* * *

**When Your Dreams Died**

**Chapter Fourteen: What Are You Afraid Of**

_Inside my eyes  
There's no chance of losing  
When there's no chance at all  
As time goes by, I forget why  
From a distant view it might still be true  
There's a part of me that lives for you._

"Talk to me about why you are here Brooke?" With every word, Brooke hated this woman more. Sitting all prim and proper in her leather chair, her hair pulled so tight behind her it looked almost painful, her rimless glasses sitting on the edge on her nose, almost as if they were about to fall off her face.

"I thought I already explained the situation" Brooke said shortly. This couch definitely wasn't as comfortable as it looked. It was stiff, not like one of those couches you sink in to when you sit down on it. Every time she would move, even slightly, the leather would squeak annoyingly.

"You told me that you're ex threatened to take you're daughter away if you didn't agree to come and get help… but you haven't opened up yet about how that altercation happened Brooke." Did this woman think that Brooke was suck a drunk that she had forgotten her own name or was she simply repeating it after every statement for the pure annoyance it was causing Brooke?

Brooke shrugged, pick at her nail beds "I didn't tell him that my daughter was his… I didn't tell him he was the father and he found out when he was ease dropping on a conversation I was having with my old roommate. He got mad, yelled, throw a few things and then threatened to take her away. He is only doing this to get back at me." The brunettes tone was bitter, icy even as she continue to start down at her chipped nail polish

"Why didn't you tell him that he was the father Brooke?" The "bitch" asked. Brooke rolled her eyes slightly, huffing under her breath

"Because" she shrugged "It wouldn't have made a difference"

"Why do you say that Brooke?" The older woman asked "Would he not have supported you two?"

The brunette shrugged again "He would have… but him being with me because I was having his child wouldn't have change anything" Brooke said dryly

"Anything being what exactly?"

She shrugged again, groaning as she tossed her head back "I am really not in the mood to talk about this right now"

"Brooke…" The woman started, shifting in her sit slightly, removing her glasses from her face completely "The first step to rehabilitation is identifying the problem. And the only way to identify the problem is to talk through things and figure out where things went wrong"

"Well if that is all you need to know, then I will save us both a lot of time…" Brooke grunted "It went wrong when I met Lucas Scott… and it went even worse when I fell in love with him."

XXX

"_I want to see her" Brooke demanded_

"_You have to have three weeks sobriety before you can see her; that was the deal" Lucas sighed sitting down in the chair in the corner of her room as she paced angrily_

"_Screw the god damn deal she is my kid and I want to see her" Brooke said with a loud stomp_

"_She is our kid," Lucas corrected "and how are you ever going to get better if you don't stick to the rules"_

"_Well not seeing her is only making things worse. And who the hell are you to say she is our daughter, you don't even fucking know her Lucas"_

"_And whose fault is that?" Lucas said, now he was upset, how dare she say something like that to him, going through what she was or not_

"_Oh so we are going to have this fight now…." Brooke said with a bitter chuckle_

"_You brought it on your self" he said in disgust sitting back in the chair_

"_I bring everything on my self according to you. This isn't a game Lucas I want my kid"_

"_I know this isn't a game that is why I am sticking to the rules of your treatment, three weeks…"_

"_You really are exactly like your father" Brooke spat angrily as she stopped pacing the room_

"_Excuse me?" Lucas said raising an eyebrow at her_

"_You heard me," Brooke spat "you are just like Dan, hanging things over peoples head just to hurt them… I guess the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree… maybe you would like to kill me or something so you can have Bryn all to your self…"_

"_You really are sick Brooke…" Lucas seethed standing from the chair "You wonder why you are here and not with your daughter, listen to what the hell you just said. When you stop being a cold hard bitch and start stepping up and handling the life YOU chose then we can talk until then you can sit here and rot for all I care" and with that he was gone, the door slamming behind him as he exited_

XXX

"You two were high school sweetheart?" Joyce, the therapist asked

"Not really sweethearts… more like an emotional mess of sex and lies" Brooke shrugged

"So you two never dated?" Joyce asked

"Twice actually… the first time was because he couldn't get my best friend… and I was easy. The second time was because… well he couldn't get my best friend and I was still easy." Brooke chuckled

"Tell me more about the relationship you two shared"

"Well" Brooke sighed dryly "I followed him around for a while at first, made it very clear that I could… satisfy any need he might have had… he was a gentlemen though, turned me down every time. For some reason though we ended up on a date… then it kind of just turned in to a relationship. He was the first really great guy I had ever been with and I fell for him" Brooke shrugged, looking down at her nails again before looking to the wall and shrugging again "He was hooking up with my best friend behind my back though… I was falling head over heals for this guy that I thought was amazing, that I thought could save me from it all… but the whole time he was just like everyone else" She said bitterly

"And how did you two find your way back to each other?"

Brooke shrugged again "I'm not really sure… things with him and Peyton dried up and we started to hang out… we were just friends. I started to think that maybe there could be something more there for a little while, but I had found this box full of stuff that he had saved from his relationship with Peyton and that put a major wrench in things. I was moving out to California for the summer and he kissed me before I left… he told me that he only kept the stuff as a reminder of how bad he'd messed things up and that he wanted to be with me…"

"And you didn't believe him?" Joyce asked simply

"Not at first… I went back and forth all summer and then when I got home I started to, I told him we could date but it had to be none exclusive… I didn't want to get my heart broken again"

"How did that go for you?"

Brooke shrugged again "Fine at first, he was sweet… he told me he was the guy for me and that I would see it one day"

"And did you?"

"I slept with someone and he walked in on it… I was drunk… not that it really makes it any better"

"Do you think you did that to make sure to push him away so you wouldn't have to worry about your heart?" The older woman asked, looking at Brooke closely as she bite her bottom lip slightly

"At first" she said softly "But once it happened, I realized what a horrible mistake I had made and tried everything I could to get him to forgive me"

"And did he?"

"Eventually" Brooke said, still not making eye contact "Things were good after that, for a little while, but then life got in the way again and his uncle died and he just became so distant. I just started to feel like I was the last thing he wanted… then my best friend told me she was still in love with him and it just seemed to be the icing on the cake… it just all got to be to much. Too many things always come between me and him and we will just never work… I gave up on us a long time ago"

"So then how did you get pregnant with his child?"

"I think that is pretty obvious" Brooke chuckled slightly

"I mean what lead you together" Joyce corrected

Brooke ran her fingers through her hair, shrugging her shoulders with a sigh "I really don't know. It just kind of happened… he was upset because he and Peyton… my best friend… who, by the way, he started dating a month after we broke up, had broken up and I was just lonely I guess"

"Was it just a one time thing?"

Brooke nodded slowing; looking down at into her empty lap "I left before he woke up that morning. I left a note telling him that I was sorry… that was all the note said… I figured he could take it to mean whatever" Brooke sighed "I found out I was pregnant seven weeks later. I was already in New York and he was in North Carolina and things were just so messed up. I just figured that my life was already over and there was no need to end his dreams too"

"But do you really believe that you would have ended his dreams" she asked plainly, laying her pen down on the pad in her lap

Brooke shrugged again "Well yeah… Brynlee changed everything… I mean she is the best thing in my life right now, but I could be so much further in my career had I not had her… I mean look at Lucas, he wrote a book, he is opening a high end restaurant. He would have never been able to do that if I would have told him" Brooke fought, her voice rising slight out of defense

"Maybe" the councilor said, moving slightly in her seat "But you don't know that… you can do anything you set your mind to… take your self as an example. Yes, you may not be as far along as you would have hoped, but you have a great career and a home and a seemingly happy daughter and you did it all with her… by yourself to boot."

"Not really though" Brooke said, pulling her legs under her "It all got to be to much for me so I did what I always do and passed her off to my grandmother"

"Brooke there is nothing wrong with asking for help every once in a while… you speak of it as though you gave her away because you didn't want to deal with her"

"Well that is how everyone sees it!" Brooke huffed

"But you know that is not it at all… you were given a chance to further your self so you could give your daughter as well as your self a better life. That is not a bad thing… it is courageous and honorable"

"Then why do I feel like shit for it… she won't even sleep in her room. It scares her… her room in my house scares her" Brooke said, her tone softening slightly at the end

"Brooke she is four years old, it is all new to her, she will get use to it" Joyce tried to reassure her

"Not now that I am gone…"

"You are not gone forever though… you need to work out your inner daemons so you can be all you can be for her"

"If you say so" Brooke muttered bitterly

XXX

The familiar bell rang as Lucas pushed open the door to the small café, letting it close softly behind him as he made his way over to the counter, sitting down at one of the stools "Hey Lucas" Edward smiled warmly, throwing the rag in his hand over his shoulder "Can I get ya something?"

"Hey Edward" Lucas smiled back slightly "Just a coffee if you don't mind"

Edward nodded, grabbing a mug and placing it in front of him before pouring the hot coffee in to the cup "Everything alright kiddo?"

Lucas looked up to him for a minute before looking back down at the coffee "Yeah… I went to see Brooke"

Edward took a breath, before nodding slightly "She still having a tough time?"

Lucas shrugged "She knew this wasn't going to be easy… she is acted like it is the end of the world"

Edward nodded again "It's gotta be hard on her… not being able to see anyone… I still can't believe you got to talk to her"

"They said because she had completed detox it was okay for her to talk to me because of Brynlee but I am almost regretting going. I jus feel like I jus made everything worse"

"It is a lot to take in right now. I think from what I have heard that you are both are in shock and with everything that is happening you are probably both saying and doing things your shouldn't. That is just life. She will forgive you just like you will eventually forgive her"

Lucas nodded slowly tracing the rim of his mug with his finger before shrugging "I want to forgive her for this, I really do, but as much as I hate to admit and as much as I disagree with it, she thought she was helping. But I still can't get it out of my head about all the time I missed with my daughter because she kept it from me. I mean, we could have made it work, I could have been there and I wasn't and I just am so upset with her for it"

Edward started wiping the counters again with a sigh "If it is any constellation, she beat her self up over it all the time. I can't tell you how many times I walked in the back to find her sitting on some old box with her phone in her hand, your number all dialed and ready to go." Edward said, pausing from his cleaning for a moment to go back to the memory "She was doing the best she could with the situation she made for herself…"

Lucas sighed, looking from his coffee over to the wall of pictures sighing again "I still can't believe she is mine." He said softly, staring at the picture in the center of Brynlee hugging Brooke tightly around the neck, their matching dimples digging in to their faces deep as they smiled widely in to the camera "You know, you hear stories about fathers holding their kids for the first time and that is when they know they are theirs, but Brynlee is a four year old child, she has no clue who I am and the same with me"

"So get to know her" Edward said simply looking at the pictures Lucas's eyes were on "You'd be surprise how fast you will fall." Edward smiled "Casey didn't come in to my life until she was a girl… but she had me wrapped around her finger in a matter of seconds. When they are yours you just know, despite the time and everything else"

"I guess" Lucas sighed "It's just… I mean, I don't even know how to tell her who I am. I mean this little girl is just getting settled and now her moms gone and I have to try and figure out how to explain to her that I am her father… I jut don't know how to handle any of this." Lucas stressed

"Get to know her first, then when she is more comfortable with you and Brooke is back you guys can talk to her together" Edward smiled "Trust me, after all the years I have spent with that little girl, I highly doubt she will react badly to learning she has a father… especially one as great as you."

Lucas looked down at his cup gain, before looking up to Edward with a shrug "If you say so"

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_**I hope after this chapter you all will still read… trust me I know it was not my best work! It will get better… I promise. Review?**_


	15. Raspberry Ice Cream

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Summary: **_They are both starting to let each other in, but Brooke's headed towards a downward spiral and Lucas isn't sure if he is the right person to help. The closer they get the worse things get, and they both start to wonder if they are really best for the other_

**Authors Note: **sorry it took so long. Hope you enjoy.

**Don't forget to review. **

_Enjoy._

* * *

**When Your Dreams Died**

**Chapter Fifteen: _Raspberry Ice Cream_**

"So tell me how you are feeling today Brooke" Joyce asked after a few moments of silence

Brooke gave her the same shrug the older woman had grown accustomed to these last few weeks before she spit off her typical answer "Just peachy" Brooke said dryly

"You are leaving in three days; you must be a little bit happy"

Brooke shrugged again

"Is something wrong Brooke?" The gray haired woman asked softly

Brooke shook her head.

"Brooke… not to push here, but the point of these sessions is for you to be able to talk to me… if something is bothering you…"

"I'm fine" Brooke cut in simply.

"Well…"Joyce started again "Did you finish the assignment I had given you the last time?" She asked looking up from her notes to Brooke

Brooke gave her a dry nod before moving on the couch slightly. She was on her seventh day and for a place the reeked of cleanness, each day she spent there she just felt that much more dirty. Her hair was fizzy and unkempt, she wore large baggy clothing, and of course makeup was out of the question. She might have been in here for her so called alcohol problem but she was starting to get the impression she might as well just be hooked on drugs.

"Do you think it helped at all?" Joyce asked calmly

Brooke looked down at her hands, playing with he sweatshirt sleeve that coveredd them "I think it just made me remember way I stopped doing it in the first place" she finally said

"And why was that?" The older woman asked, moving slightly in her own chair

"Because it makes me remember how weak I really am" Brooke said softly

"Why do you say that?"

"Why do you always just ask me questions?" Brooke snapped slightly

"Does it bother you?" Joyce asked

"Yes. It bothers me that I am suppose to be getting advise from you and all I get is annoying questions about how I am feeling and yes it is annoying that when I ask a question it just gets answered with another god damn questions" Brooke stressed "I am so sick of everyone asking me god damn questions, when are you all going to figure out that I don't have any fucking answers. I don't know a god damn thing!"

"Brooke…" Joyce sighed slightly, "You aren't an open book… the only way I can try and help is to try and get out of you what it is that is bothering you"

"Well I think it is very clear what is bothering me" Brooke huffed

"Yes" Joyce answered "You have, but I like to think that deep down there is a reason for everything. But to get that answer we have to dig deep and ask a lot of questions… no one expects you to have the answers. But the reason we ask the questions is to get the answers" Joyce explained "Does that make scene?"

"No" Brooke answered snappishly "I don't think it is that complicated. I think that I am just a stupid girl that made stupid discussions and landed myself here"

"Life isn't that cut and dry though Brooke. If you walk around everyday just saying you are stupid and the things you do are stupid that isn't going to make anything better" Joyce said moving slightly "You have to figure out the reason behind the things you do…"

"Well maybe I just don't want to" Brooke said leaning back in to the couch slightly

"Then you are just going to continue down this same road" Joyce said simply

"This is all his fault… if I would have never meant him none of this would have ever happen… I could be happy right now"

"Do you truly believe that Brooke?"

"Yes" She said firmly "I do. He was the reason everything got messed up, if he had never came in to my life I would be so much happier."

XXX

He knocked softly on the wooden door, rocking back and forth from his toes to his heals as he shoved his hands deep in to his pockets waiting for the door to open. He heard footsteps and took a deep breathe as the door opened. He smiled at the thin blonde in front of him and she smiled back

"Lucas… hey, what's up?"

"Hey Casey… sorry to come like this"

"No problem" Casey smiled, moving to the side of the door "Come in" she said, and Lucas smiled before walking in, following Casey to the small kitchen table "Everything okay?"

"Yah" Lucas nodding "I just was wondering if I could ask for a favor"

"Sure what's up?" Casey asked

"Do you think I could maybe take Brynlee for the day?" Lucas questioned with a slight hesitation "Just to the park… maybe to a movie or something…"

"I think that is a really nice idea" Casey smiled "I think she would really enjoy that"

"Yeah?" Lucas question with a slight eyebrow raise "You don't think she wouldn't want to"

"Of course not, she adores you" Casey smiled widely "Let me just get her fed and ready to go… come back in like an hour?" Casey asked sweetly

"Sounds great" Lucas smiled

"I'll see you then" Casey smiled back, following him to the door

XXX

"Are you going to mail him the letter?" Joyce asked as she took her thin glasses off, placing them on the notepad that sat on her lap

"Probably not" Brooke answered honestly "I don't think it will change anything at this point"

"Things can only change if you make the effort to change them"

"Well, that is why I am here" Brooke said "I can only do so much"

"Baby steps are fine" Joyce said with a small smile "But you have worked really hard here, now I think it is time you sifted your focus to mending your relationships"

"What relationships?" Brooke asked with a slight laugh "Have you not been listening?"

"Regardless of how he feels about you and you feel about him, you two have a daughter together and you are going to have to work something out at some point"

Brooke shrugged "He hates me" she stated simply "And I can't really blame him"

The room was quite for a moment before Joyce shifted slightly "Do you want him to have a relationship with your daughter?"

Brooke was quiet. She looked at her lap where her hands were "More then anything" she said softly "I use to think about it all the time when she was a baby… how great it would be to have him with me. I use to have this dream when I was pregnant that he would show up one day and he would find out and not be mad, he would just be so happy that I was having his child that nothing else would matter. He would move me back to Tree Hill and we would live in our own little apartment with our baby; he would write for the local newspaper and I would open my own little shop."

"You don't think that could still happen… to a certain extent"

"Of course not" Brooke said softly "I messed it all up"

"You are shutting doors before you have even opened them though… you have to start taking chances. Have a little faith"

"Faith isn't something I come by often"

"Well then maybe that is the change you need to make."

XXX

"Mr. Lucas?" her voice was raspy like her mothers, her eyes sparkled like her mother, her dimples where deep like her mothers, and looking down to her made him smile, just like when he looked down to her mother

"Bryn, I thought I told you to just call me Lucas" He laughed

"But mommy said it was polite to call people Ms. or Mr." Brynlee said looking up at him with a confused express as the two walked side by side in around central park

"Well it is, but you only say that to people you don't know well"

"But I don't know you well" She shrugged

He chuckled lightly before kneeling to be eye level with the small child "Well here all this time I thought we were friends?"

"We are… but I still don't know you that well" She said as she moved back and forth from her toes to her heels causing her light pink sun dress to moving back and forth with her in the most adorable of ways

"Fair enough… but let's say I… buy you some ice cream maybe…"Lucas asked raising an eyebrow with a small smile

"That would be great but I still wouldn't know you very well" She shrugged, her own small smile starting to grow, deepening her dimples making the blonde in front of her heart ach slightly.

He laughed as he stood up again "Okay, okay I give up, Miss Brynlee, what kind of ice cream would you like?"

"Raspberry please…" she said with out hesitation

"I don't think they have raspberry" Lucas said as the two made their way over to the ice cream cart

"It is mommy's favorite though" And there it was. The long blond hair was blowing behind her slightly as she looked down to the ground avoiding eye contact with Lucas causing him to worry slightly. Brooke always avoided eye contact when something was wrong

"Bryn" he sighed bending down to her level again "What's wrong gorgeous?"

She simply shrugged as she continued to look at the grass below her

"Well I would say something is wrong because a happy girl like you doesn't stop smiling unless something is wrong" Lucas said gentle, lifting her chin slightly with his finger

"I am not happy" She said softly moving away from him "Can we get the ice cream now?"

He let out a sad sigh, watching her kick softly at the grass "Okay" he said softly, rubbing her arm lightly "But if you ever want to talk you can talk to me okay?"

Her lips started to quiver, and even though she was trying her hardest to hide it, he saw it and gently pulled the small child in to him, picking her up slowly, and surprisingly enough she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly as he rubbed her back soothingly "I miss my mommy" He almost didn't hear it, but her small head was resting on his shoulder, which was probably why he felt the heat from the small drop of water the feel from her cheek on to his shoulder

"I know, I miss her too"


End file.
